


You are the missing piece that make me complete

by lhlsy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Bottom Harry, Daddy Kink, Dom Louis, Dom/sub, Famous Louis, First Meetings, Insecure Harry, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Personal Assistant Harry, Pining, Rimming, Sex Toys, Spanking, Sub Harry, Tiny bit of Angst, Top Louis, and maybe, but they kinda share that like once or twice maybe, eventual, i'm just adding these as i go along, there is more angst and drama than i planned..
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-19 20:36:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7376506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhlsy/pseuds/lhlsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the opportunity to work as a PA for a celebrity presented itself Harry had applied for the job right away. <br/>Louis Tomlinson was a famous singer, and a bit of a ladies man. Meeting his new boss for the first time was a life changing moment for Harry. It was like Harry had found something he had been searching for, without even knowing it was something he was missing.</p>
<p>He tried to stop thinking about how perfect Louis was and how much he wanted to be with him, but the way he was feeling now he had never felt about anyone before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You knock me off my feet

It was a hot day in the beginning of August. Harry was sitting in the lobby of a posh hotel in the middle of London. He was sweating, legs shaking, he felt extremely nervous. A week earlier he got a call from a management firm where he had applied for a job as a personal assistant for a celebrity, which celebrity was not specified when he applied. When they called him to let him know he got the job and that he would be Louis Tomlinson’s PA, Harry had immediately gone online and looked up whom he was going to work for.

Harry didn’t really follow celebrity news but he had heard of Tomlinson before. Tomlinson was a world know artist with a huge fanbase. Therefore, Harry knew his name and a few of his songs before he got the job, but he did not know much else about Louis Tomlinson.

After a quick Google search, Harry had learned a few things. Louis’ fanbase consisted mostly of women in their late teens to late twenties, although he also seemed to attract a broader audience as his career progressed. He was also known to be a ladies’ man and was mostly portrayed as ‘the womanizer with the sizzling looks and golden voice’ in the media. He was also considered one of the world’s most eligible bachelors according to some magazines. Harry could understand why, Louis was gorgeous and he was flirty, funny and a bit goofy in interviews.

After spending a whole afternoon looking into Louis online Harry thought it was going to be nice working for him. He seemed nice and down to earth, like the kind of guy Harry would enjoy spending time with.

He was still nervous though. When a woman walked up to him, he almost fell out of his seat.

“Are you Harry Styles?” she asked.

“Y-yes”

“Good, come with me” she gestured towards the lifts.

Harry felt a bit lightheaded when he walked into a conference room on the third floor. On the other side of the table was three middle-aged men in suits. They introduced themselves but Harry was so nervous he forgot their names right after they said them. He was handed a stack of papers.

“Mr. Styles, before we get into the details of your job you need to sign these”

Harry looked over the papers, a work contract and an NDA. He signed and gave the papers back to the man sitting in the middle.

Harry nodded as the men explained to him what his work would entail.

He was to be at Louis side, making sure he had everything he needed at all times. Harry had to keep Louis’ schedule and get Louis to where he needed to be. He would be handling some of Louis’ private business affairs and co-ordination of his charity work. They reminded him that the NDA was in place to provide Louis privacy, and if Harry as much as opened his mouth to talk to anyone about the information about Louis he would become privy to, they would come down on him hard. Harry would also be spending most of his working day at the hotel. Louis’ London home was being renovated so Louis was staying at the hotel until he was going to America on a small tour. After the tour ended in December, Louis would take a break from touring for a year, he would release an album, only promotional work, and a few concerts if he wanted to.

After listening to the three men for what felt like hours, Harry walked on shaky legs out to the corridor. The woman that escorted him from the lobby was there again, gesturing him towards the lifts. She didn’t talk much, just pushed the button to the penthouse suite and they rode the lift in silence.

When Harry stepped into the suite he felt a bit overwhelmed again, it was huge. The woman walked with him into the room. Harry froze taking in the sight before him. In the middle of the room was a gorgeous man who he recognised as Louis Tomlinson, he was shirtless and a woman who had to be his stylist was sitting on the floor hemming his trousers. They both looked up as they entered the room.

“Mr. Tomlinson, this is your new personal assistant. Harry Styles.”

“Hi, Harry.” Louis looked at him with a smile on his lips.

“Mr. Tomlinson, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Harry said while he stepped forward to shake Louis hand.

“Please, call me Louis.”

“Oh, ok.” Harry smiled nervously, trying not to look at Louis naked upper body. He had lean toned muscles, tattoos and his skin had a light tan, almost glowing. Harry bit harshly down on his bottom lip.

“Anything I can do for you?” he asked.

Louis smiled at him. “You can get me a coffee.”

Harry looked around the room and found a coffee machine in a corner.

“I like it strong with a little milk in it.”

“Ok, coming right up.”

Harry looked over at Louis while making his coffee, his stylist was finished with his trousers and handed him a shirt. When Louis put it on, Harry could see his back muscles flex. Harry quickly looked away. Louis was hot and Harry was scolding himself for looking. Louis looked more gorgeous in person than in the pictures, if that was even possible. Harry had seen many good-looking men before, but no one as hot as Louis.

Harry handed Louis his coffee and as he took a sip, Harry opened the iPad with Louis’ schedule.

“You have an interview in forty minutes. We should probably get going soon,” Harry said while looking up the address where the interview was going to take place.

“Ok, let’s go.”

A car was waiting for them out front. Louis let Harry slide into the backseat first, when the door closed Louis started looking at his phone. Harry was looking over his schedule, trying not to look at Louis.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry dropped his bag and coat on the floor when he got home that night. He was exhausted, after the first interview, Louis had two more. Harry had been by his side all day making sure the schedule was followed and that Louis had everything he needed. Harry had spent the time Louis was being interviewed trying to figure out exactly what he would have to do to handle Louis’ private affairs and charity work.

Harry sunk into his sofa leaning his head back. He was all alone in the flat. His flatmate Niall was out with some girl he met a few weeks ago.

Harry moved to London three years ago. He met Niall at a party. After talking for a while when Harry had talked about how hard it was finding a decent place to live that did not cost a fortune, Niall had offered to rent him the spare room in his flat. It was a match made in heaven. Niall and Harry got along great, sure they had their differences but they soon became best friends. Harry felt lucky to have Niall in his life.

Harry sunk even further down into the sofa, closing his eyes, thinking about all that had happened today. He liked the new job. He had worked as a receptionist and assistant at a trading firm before. After a year there he felt like he needed a change, he wanted something different, he also wanted to be able to have a more personal style at work, wearing a suit and tie every day wasn’t really his thing. When the opportunity to work as a PA for a celebrity presented itself Harry applied for the job right away.

He opened his eyes and went to the hall to get his bag. He had been given what he felt was like an instruction manual this morning. Everything he needed to know about Louis was in there, it was longer than most instruction manuals he had read before. Everything from how Louis liked his coffee and what breakfast he preferred, what the hotel rooms he was staying at should look like, his favourite brand of boxers and cologne to what charities he was involved with and what kind of personal businesses he had was listed.

After reading it through Harry felt more ready for tomorrow than he did today. He now knew a lot more about Louis, and what his working day would entail. After looking over Louis’ schedule, he knew when he had to be at the hotel tomorrow so he would be ready to accompany Louis to his engagements.

Harry closed his eyes again, he was thinking about seeing Louis for the first time. There was something about Louis that Harry couldn’t put his finger on.

His toned stomach, his strong arms, the way his back stretched and muscles flexed when he lifted his arms above his head to put on his shirt. His soft suntanned and tattooed skin. The way his fringe kind of twirled on the one side of his face. The way his beautiful blue eyes twinkled. His smile lighting up the room. Louis was perfect, but there was still something about Louis that Harry liked, but he couldn’t really put his finger on.

Louis was about half a head shorter and he looked like he had less muscles than Harry, but Louis made Harry feel smaller than him. Harry felt like Louis was stronger. It was like Louis was sucking the few masculine traits Harry had out of him, and his height and muscles was really the only masculine things about Harry, on the inside Harry was more nervous and uncertain, and he didn’t feel masculine at all. It made Harry feel good that Louis gave him that feeling, Harry felt like Louis was the type of man that would take care of him and make him feel safe. It was like Harry had found something he had been searching for, without even knowing it was something he was missing.

Shit, he should not be thinking these things.

He had never had such an immediate attraction to anyone before. It was hard trying not to think about Louis.

He opened his eyes and tilted his head to the side. He had to find something else to think about. He picked up his phone and dialled Niall’s number. He had to get out of the flat and his own head. He hoped Niall had brought his date to a bar or a club as he often did.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Harry’s head was throbbing; he could feel a headache coming on. He met Niall and his date at a club last night. Niall was grilling him about his first day, wanting to know what Louis Tomlinson was like. Which resulted in Harry telling Niall that Louis was a great guy, and drinking a lot more then he had planned to keep his mouth busy so he wouldn’t start to talk about how perfect Louis was. After dancing and drinking a lot more. Harry had called it a night at around two in the morning. When the alarm rung at six he cursed himself for drinking so much.

Louis had an interview at eight. Harry nervously walked into Louis room, he looked at Louis laying on his stomach, head buried in the pillow. Harry didn’t want to wake him, he looked so peaceful, but the interview started in an hour. Harry had to make sure Louis was ready, and get him to the morning show studio on time.

“Heeey, good morning.”

Louis didn’t respond to Harry’s first attempt to wake him. Harry placed a hand on the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry to have to do this, but you have to get up.” Harry slowly shook the mattress. Louis started to move. “Louis, you have to get up now.”

Louis slowly opened his eyes. His piercing blue, meeting Harry’s green.

“I need coffee.”

Louis got out of bed. He was only wearing pants. He stretched his arms over his head. Harry took in the sight before him. Louis’ pants were tight, the fabric clung to his arse. When Louis turned around Harry had to look away, he saw the outline of Louis’ cock against the thin fabric.

Harry handed Louis his cup of coffee “Thanks.” Louis took a sip. “When do we have to leave?”

“In about thirty minutes.” Harry said, still trying not to look at Louis. Louis smiled when Harry went to get the clothes the stylist had picked out for him.

Two hours later Harry’s head really stated to hurt, he had already taken painkillers but they didn’t seem to help. He was watching as Louis did his interview. Later they went to a record store where Louis was doing a signing and meeting fans. Louis was very attentive to his fans, he hugged them and took pictures with them. When they drove back to the hotel Harry could not wait to get home and curl up into a ball on his bed.

“Anything else I can do for you?” he asked looking over at Louis.

Louis smiled back at him. “No, I’m good.”

 

* * *

 

 

After a long day of promo shoots and interviews they were driving back to Louis’ hotel. All the times Harry had asked Louis if there was anything else he could do for him at the end of the day, Louis had always said no.

This time he said, “Would you like to join me and some friends at an opening of a new club tonight? You can bring some friends if you like.”

“Yeah, sure.” Harry said, not really processing what Louis had said before he said yes. He was too lost looking at Louis’ smile.

Harry had noticed how Louis was always smiling when answering questions or asking Harry to do something. Louis must have noticed that Harry was looking at him a bit too long, but he was still smiling even though Harry was being inappropriate.

Harry had promised himself to stop looking at Louis like that, but it was hard. Louis was so nice and sweet, and hot. Sometimes Harry couldn’t help himself.

Arriving at the club with Niall, they walked right past the line and got some glares from the people waiting in line when he said his name and was let into the club. The club was packed. He looked around, trying to see if he could find Louis.

“Want a drink?”

“Yes.” Harry nodded and followed Niall to the bar.

Harry leaned against the bar scanning the room he spotted Louis with another guy and a few girls across the room, they had a spacey area all to themselves with security guards making sure that people didn’t get to close.

Harry grabbed Niall arm and pointed. Niall squealed a little. Harry giggled, Niall was like a little fangirl. They made their way through the crowd on the dancefloor. When Harry stepped up beside the guards they eyed him up and down.

“It’s ok, they’re with me,” Louis said and waved Harry and Niall over.

They sat down in the sofa opposite Louis. The guy sitting beside Louis was looking at them with narrow eyes.

“Hi.” Louis said smiling at Harry and Niall. “This is my best mate Liam.”

“Nice to meet you, Liam. I’m Harry, and this is Niall.”

Louis shook Niall’s hand. Niall looked like he was about to pee his pants. Harry laughed at the sight. Harry and Niall shook Liam’s hand. Liam looked a bit scary at first with the way he was looking at them, but when Harry started talking with him, he seemed like a nice guy.

The girls that where sitting there before Harry and Niall arrived was dancing, spilling champagne and one of them was staring Louis, trying to get his attention. Harry watched Louis when she started rubbing his shoulder and tried to make her way up to his neck. Louis smiled and removed her hand.

It was nice to see Louis in a different more relaxed setting, he was smiling and making jokes. The conversation flowed naturally between the four of them. Harry really enjoyed himself.

 

Liam had his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a petite brunette, Niall was drunk and dancing with the girls, Harry was drinking champagne and feeling a bit tipsy himself. Louis looked comfortable with a drink in his hand staring out at the dancefloor. Harry leaned over to Louis to say something, but as he did, Louis looked up. Harry looked at the direction Louis was looking. A beautiful blonde girl was standing in front of Louis, she had natural makeup and a dress that clung to her body, showing off an amazing figure. Harry was gay, but he could clearly see when a woman was beautiful.

“You ready?” She looked down at Louis.

Louis smiled a bit hesitantly “Yes.”

Louis looked over at Liam, and Liam nodded.

Louis looked at Niall who was drunk dancing and then at Harry. “Sorry, I have to go. See you to tomorrow.”

Harry looked at Louis when he stood up. The girl took Louis’ hand and they walked towards the entrance of the club.

 

* * *

 

When Harry woke up the next morning he felt ok, not too hung over. He had his morning coffee in the kitchen and he logged onto twitter. Scrolling through his feed, pictures of Louis leaving the club last night popped up. Harry had forgotten that he started following a few of Louis’ fans update accounts when he was doing his research into his new boss. He studied the pictures, Louis and the girl walked out of the club and got into a car in the pictures. Harry leaned against the counter, just staring at Louis empty eyes in the pictures. Harry Googled Louis’ name, the first thing that came up were articles about Louis leaving the club last night.

LOUIS TOMLINSON LEAVES CLUB WITH UNKNOWN WOMAN

LOUIS TOMLINSON TAKES HOT BLONDE HOME AFTER A NIGHT ON THE TOWN

LOUIS SHOWS HIS WOMANAZING WAYS YET AGAIN – LEAVES CLUB WITH SEXY BLONDE

 

Harry looked at a few of the articles. There was so many of them. All about how he’s seen leaving the clubs with women, going out on dates and stories about him sleeping with high profile women, some even went as far as saying he never slept with the same girl twice.

An hour later he knocked on Louis’ door. He was scared of what he would see when he opened the door, but he had to go in. It was eight a.m., and Louis had a meeting at nine. Harry had to make sure Louis was ready in time for the meeting.

Harry slowly opened the door and he walked into the room.

Louis was sleeping in his bed alone, it looked like no one had slept on the other side of the bed. Harry was relieved. He went over to the coffee machine and started making Louis’ coffee.

“Hey.” Louis sleepy voice filled the room

“Good morning.”

Louis smiled at him, “did you and Niall have a good night? Sorry I had to leave so sudden.”

“Yeah, we had a good night. Niall really enjoyed himself.”

Louis laughed and got out of bed, stretching his beautiful body. Harry had learned his routine by now. He knew Louis liked to get out of bed and stretch, and have his coffee served right after.

“Do I have time for a shower?” Louis asked while drinking his coffee.

“Yes, your meeting starts in an hour in a conference room downstairs.”

Louis walked into the bathroom. Harry was grateful that he found Louis alone in bed this morning, he didn’t know how he would react to finding a woman in bed with Louis.

He looked over Louis schedule, he had a meeting this morning and the rest of the day looked open until he had an appearance at a chat show in the evening to sing his new single live before it was released at midnight. Harry read the notes in the calendar. Apparently the fans knew that Louis had an appearance on the chat show but they didn’t know that he would be performing his new single and that the single would be released a few hours later.

Harry had been on Tumblr and Twitter so he had some understanding of how the fans would react. He felt like someone should warn them so they wouldn’t freak out by the surprise, but the whole point was probably the element of surprise. Harry laughed, it would be fun to see their reactions.

Louis came out of the bathroom with a towel hanging low on his waist, “I guess I don’t have any clothes laid out from my stylist this morning. Since it’s only a meeting with my management.”

Harry nodded. The only clothes the stylist had picked out was for tonight.

“Well, Mr. Styles,” Louis said looking at Harry, “what do you think I should wear? You do seem to have a sense of style and your last name is Styles.”

Harry blushed.

Harry went through Louis’ clothes and picked out a casual, yet a bit stylish outfit. Louis smiled when he handed it to him. Harry tried not to look at Louis while he put on the clothes. Damn it, Harry. Louis was straight, so looking at him hoping he would look back the same way would never happen. Harry felt something when he was around Louis. It was so long since he had felt something like this when he was around someone, he had butterflies in his stomach and he blushed every time Louis looked at him a certain way.

 

* * *

 

Harry stayed in Louis’ suite while he was in the meeting. He looked over Louis’ things, noted that he needed more toothpaste, cologne and that his clothes needed to be washed, Louis only had a few clean pants left. 

Harry sent Louis’ clothes to the hotel laundry, and went out shopping. Harry got a corporate business card when he got the job so he could shop what Louis needed. He liked shopping without thinking about the price even if it was not for himself.

When he returned to the hotel he found a note from Louis: ‘I’m with my personal trainer in the hotel gym. Come find me when you get back. L.’

After Harry had picked up Louis’ laundry and packed out the things he had bought he made his way down to the gym. Harry opened the door; he was immediately floored by the scene that met him. Louis was only wearing shorts. He was sweaty and panting. His personal trainer was encouraging him and making sure Louis did the exercise right. Harry watched for a minute, feeling his cock start to twitch. Seriously, he could not be turned on by this. It was his boss for Christ sake!

After regaining some of his professionalism Harry went over.

“Hi, u-mmh, I saw your note.”

Louis looked up at him. “I’m almost done here. Just give me a minute and we can go get lunch.”

Louis finished his workout and went to shower. Harry sat down on a chair trying to calm down. He was still a bit flustered and his cock had gone from twitching to a semi, Harry was trying to get it down.

When Louis came back he smiled at Harry. “Any preferences?”

“Uhm?” Harry gulped.

“Anything you would like to eat?”

Harry knew exactly what he wanted to eat, but he could not say that aloud.

“Hmmm.. Anything you want I’m ok with. I’m not that picky,” Harry said with a smile.

They went to a pizza place not far from the hotel. Louis was happy to be out walking the streets, no one seemed to recognise him with a beanie and the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head. Harry laughed at the sight of Louis jumping around, almost dancing in the street. Harry was amazed by how easy it was to be around Louis. They had a good lunch, Harry told a few bad jokes, and Louis laughed. Harry felt good as they went back to the hotel to get Louis ready for his chat show appearance. Louis told Harry to get home and get some sleep, and that he would be fine on his own.

 

* * *

 

_Harry walked into the gym. Louis was alone doing pullups. Sweat running down his back. Harry licked his lips, taking in the sight before him. Louis gorgeous arse, sweaty arms and his lean body. His tattooed suntanned skin. Harry bit his lip. Feeling his cock hard and throbbing against his thigh. When Louis was done with his exercise he turned towards Harry, looking at him with lust in his eyes. He walked up to Harry and placed his hands on Harry’s hips. Harry grabbed Louis’ arse. Looking deep into Louis’ eyes. Louis pressed their crotches together. Harry moaned._


	2. Always wanting you…

Harry was panting and sweating. Still in a sleepy state trying to figure out what happened. Louis working out alone looking amazing, Louis looking at him with lust in his eyes. Harry touching his arse, Louis pressing their crotches together.

It was all just a dream.

Harry’s cock was hard, pressing against the soft fabric of his pants. When released from his pants pre-come was leaking from it. He stared to stroke himself. He closed his eyes imagining Louis. Touching him. Sucking Louis’ cock. Harry stroked himself faster. Harry fucking Louis. Harry bending over and Louis fucking him hard. Harry came with a cry of Louis’ name.

 

* * *

 

 

He walked into the kitchen and found Niall sitting at the breakfast bar, Niall looked at him and handed him a cup of coffee. “Thanks,” he smiled appreciatively.

“Are you going to tell me what happened last night?” Niall’s eyes were narrow.

“Huh?”

“Don’t play dumb. Our rooms are right next to each other.”

“I’m not playing dumb. Nothing happened last night.”

“So you moaning Louis’ name in the middle of the night, equals nothing happened?”

Shit, Niall had heard him. “Uhmm.”

“You know you can tell me anything right? I won’t tell another soul.”

Of course Harry knew that. Niall was his best mate. “Yeah, I know. Nothing happened last night. I would tell you if it did.” Harry looked at him. Niall still didn’t look convinced. “I just had a dream, ok?”

“A dream? About Louis?”

Harry started blushing, “yeah.”

“You jerk off to him?” Niall was eying Harry.

“NO! I don’t jerk off to him, I just had a dream,” Harry looked down at the floor.

Niall’s eyes were now wide, his mouth fell open, “Shit! You like Louis Tomlinson!”

“Yes,” Harry admitted, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“But he’s your boss.”

“Mmm.. Yeah..”

“Shit Harry. This is not good.” Niall gave Harry a concerned look, “the guy is straight as an arrow. He has different women in his bed almost every night.”

Harry was not sure that was true. He had to wake him up almost every day. Never had there been a woman in Louis’ bed and it always looked like the other side of the bed had not been slept in. But he agreed with Niall. “Yes, I know.”

“Harry, you can’t think about your boss like that. You like your job right?”

“Yes, I love it.”

“Then you have to stop thinking about Louis like that. He’s straight.” Niall said worryingly.

“Yes. I have been trying. It’s just…. I will try harder..”

Harry looked at the time. Louis had to be at his music video shoot in two hours, and they had to drive outside of London. “I have to go.” He looked at Niall, Niall looked back at Harry with a frown on his face. “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

He gave Niall a hug. Niall was going home to Ireland later that day. Harry felt bad for just rushing out and leaving Niall with the frown on his face, but he had to go if he was going to get Louis to his music video shoot in time.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry was looking at Louis doing his shoot for the new single. Louis was wearing black trousers and a white t-shirt. He was drenched in water. The scene was Louis walking through the rain, fake rain, and looking into the camera with his amazing blue eyes. He could understand why the girls liked Louis, Louis was sexy as fuck. When he was looking into the camera like that it was like he was looking right into your soul.

Louis walked towards Harry when he was done with the scene. “That was fucking cold. I need to get out of these clothes.”

“Let’s go to your trailer.” Harry put his hand on the small of Louis back leading him towards his trailer.

Louis was struggling to get his tight wet trousers off. “You got to help me. It’s like my trousers are glued to my body.”

Harry immediately got down on his knees to help Louis free his legs from the trousers. Once they were off, Harry looked up at Louis face. Louis took of his t-shirt. He stood there over Harry in only his pants. Harry wanted so desperately to touch him, he wanted to rip his pants off and suck his cock.

Louis took a step back. “I think I’m going to take a quick shower. I’m freezing.”

Harry went out to tell the wardrobe and the hair and make-up people that Louis would be out in a few minutes.

Louis finished his shoot with a scene featuring a hot brunette. She was all over him and Louis didn’t seem to mind. The director yelled cut and Louis freed himself from the girl’s grip and went over to Harry. “Let’s go home now. I’m tired and hungry”

Louis was silent for most of the car ride back to his hotel. He looked at his phone, and started frowning.

“Change of plans. I have to go out.” Louis looked at Harry. “Wanna join me?”

“Yeah, of course. I just need drop off my stuff at home first.” Harry gestured to his bag.

“Don’t worry, the driver can drop it at my hotel room. You’ll be there first ting in the morning anyway.”

Harry smiled and nodded.

 

The club was packed. Louis made his way through the crowd to the VIP area and Harry followed. The security guards let Louis through right away, they stared at Harry before letting him follow Louis into the area.

“What would you like to drink?” Louis looked at him.

“Mmm.. A cosmopolitan.” Harry looked down and felt a bit embarrassed. When it came to his preferred drinks, he was a bit girly or stereotypically gay.

“One cosmo coming right up,” Louis’ lip formed a little smirk.

A few minutes later, a waitress came over with a cosmopolitan for Harry and a whiskey for Louis. Harry could not understand why Louis wanted to go clubbing now. About an hour ago he was tired and hungry, and now he was drinking whiskey at a speed Harry could not keep up with. Harry was at his second cosmopolitan when Louis was at his fourth whiskey. Shit, that man could drink.

Louis leaned back in the couch sipping his whiskey, he looked a tired and not like he was enjoying himself. Some girls were giving him glances and some were blatantly staring. Louis finished his drink, he looked like it did not face him at all that people were staring at him. Harry lifted his hand to get the waitress over so he could order another round of drinks. When she came over Louis cut Harry off before he could order. “A round of shots. Whatever you got. And not just two,” Louis gestured to himself and Harry, “give us like forty shots.” Harry looked at Louis. Seriously? He had to be kidding. Forty shots. Did Louis really expect him to drink that much? Harry was already tipsy and had trouble keeping himself in check. All he really wanted was to straddle Louis or drag him into the toilet and eat him out. He could not have any shots.

When the waitress arrived with the shots Louis stood up, he looked at some girls and waved them over. The girls looked like they had won the lottery. They gladly took the shots Louis offered them. They asked for pictures, so Louis posed with them, shots in hand. Harry felt a bit sick at the scene in front of him; Louis was flirting with the girls and people were looking at him and taking pictures. Harry was sure these would end up at the update accounts.

After a while, a pretty brunette walked up and placed her hand on Louis shoulder, he looked at her and got up immediately. He looked down at Harry, his expression was hard to read. He just gave Harry a nod then he left with the brunette.

Harry felt empty when he walked out of the club and got in a cab. When they were in his street Harry searched his pocket for his keys and wallet. Fuck, they were in his bag that the driver had put in Louis hotel room. Niall had left to visit his family in Ireland so he had no way of getting into his flat and paying for the cab. He told the driver to drive to the hotel instead. When he arrived at the hotel one of the bellhops opened the door.

“I just have to run up to the room and get my wallet.”

“No, worries. We’ll get it and charge Mr. Tomlinson’s room.” The bellhop said.

Harry blinked at him. Could he really do that? “Ok, good.”

Harry got into the elevator and a few moments later he stumbled into Louis penthouse suite. He looked around for his bag. It was three a.m. Harry probably had to get up at seven to get Louis up, he hadn’t looked at Louis schedule so he didn’t know when Louis needed to be ready. Harry cursed himself. Why had he agreed to go to a club? Just to get to spend some alone time with Louis. Louis was not interested in him.

He heard a loud groan coming from the bathroom, he walked over and peeked in. Louis was laying on the floor. What was he doing here? Louis left the club about twenty minutes ago with the girl. No way he was that quick. Harry turned to look at the bed, it was made, it looked like no one had been laying on it.

Harry sat down next to Louis. “Hey, Lou. You need anything?”

Louis looked up at him. “Yeah, maybe some water. I was going for a wee, but I fell. I think I am a bit drunk,” he giggled.

Harry could not help it, he giggled as well. He got Louis some water and helped him to his feet. Harry left the bathroom. When Louis came out a few minutes later only wearing pants Harry stopped breathing. He looked amazing, even when he was drunk. He stumbled over to the couch where Harry was sitting. He laid his head against the headrest and put his feet in Harry’s lap.

“You know, Styles. You really should not let me drink that much.”

“I was not the one who ordered forty shots and drank whiskey faster than anyone I’ve seen before.”

“You should’ve stopped me.”

“You really think you would have listened to me if I told you to stop?”

“No.”

Harry laughed, “so you being this drunk is really your own fault, it’s nothing I could have done to stop you.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for just leaving you there. I should have told you why we were there.”

Harry smiled at Louis. He was confused and upset when Louis just left him at the club, but right now this beautiful boy had his legs in Harry’s lap.

“I got to find a way to do this without drinking so much.”

Louis continued talking. Harry didn’t really understand most of what Louis was talking about. He just looked at him and nodded. Louis started talking about his family, how his oldest sisters had started following accounts dedicated to him on Twitter and Tumblr, and had started looking at what tabloids wrote about him. He looked sad when he talked about it. He talked about how he wanted to be a role model for them, but he couldn’t be that. When Harry asked him why, Louis just shook his head.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry felt his back ache. He opened his eyes. It took him a while to understand where he was. He looked down. Louis looked so peaceful sleeping on the couch, still with his feet in Harry’s lap. Harry really didn’t want to get up, but sleeping sitting upright really killed his back, he also had a headache. He slowly removed Louis feet, and got up and stretched. He went over to his bag got some painkillers before he checked Louis schedule. Louis didn’t have anything booked today, thank god. Harry would not have been able to manage working today. It looked like Louis had the whole week off, why hadn’t Harry seen this before? He furrowed his brows a little.

“I’m taking a week off before we go on tour.” Louis was up, standing by the couch looking at Harry.

“Oh, I almost forgot we leave in a week.” Harry’s eyes met Louis. Louis looked away. “Does that mean I also have the week off?”

“Yes, I’m going home to see my family later today. And I don’t really need a PA when I’m home.” Louis eyes met Harry’s again. “I need a shower.”

“Anything I can do for you before I leave?”

“No, I’m good.” Louis looked deep into Harry’s eyes. Harry had trouble reading him.

“Ok. See you in a week.” Harry picked up his bag.

“Yeah, see ya.” Louis turned away from Harry and walked towards the bathroom.

Harry left the hotel a bit confused.

After a short cab ride Harry arrived at his flat and he collapsed on his bed not bothering to undress.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry was not used to having time off, and Niall was home in Ireland, so Harry was bored.

He spent the first few days trying to relax, reading books, listening to music and cooking elaborate dinners for himself. He loved doing all of these things, and he did enjoy himself, but he was used to spending all his time around people. When he was working he was always with Louis and at home Niall was always there, so Harry was lonely.

Harry started packing for the tour. He needed something to occupy himself with. This tour would be from the middle of September to the beginning of December and they would be going to a few selected cities in the US. The tour had sold out in minutes, so they had set up extra concerts in some of the cities. Louis also got some free time during this tour, he had been working hard for years and, as Harry understood, only did this tour for the American fans since it had been a long time since they had seen him, and he was taking a yearlong break from touring after it.

He realised there was a few things he needed before they left so he had a perfect excuse to go out and do some shopping. He spent a whole day walking around in stores and trying on clothes. On the bus home he leaned back and closed his eyes.

Suddenly he heard Louis singing. Harry turned around, two girls were sitting a few seats behind him looking at their phones and giggling.

“Oh, he is soooo hot.”

“His eyes, OH MY GOD! Look at them.”

“That girl is so lucky she gets to be in his video.”

“Yeah… Wish I could meet him and get to hold him like that.”

“Meee too.”

Louis’ music video had been released.

When Harry got home he dropped everything and got out his laptop. He had to see the video. After watching it he had to agree with the girl on the bus, Louis looked hot. Harry kept replaying the video, while he continued packing for the tour.

 

* * *

 

 

The days had never been so slow before, Harry just hoped this week would end soon. He needed to see Louis again. He dreamt about Louis at night. Every morning when he woke up and felt his hard cock, he scolded himself and got a cold shower. He could not jerk off while thinking about Louis, he had done it once and he felt like the biggest creep in the world afterwards.

Finally, the last night at home had come. He had made plans with two of his girlfriends to meet up at a bar, he was excited to get his mind of things and just get drunk.

His friends were more interested in talking about which one of the Kardashians had got the most plastic surgery done, than about anything of substance.

His friends were annoying him all night. This was not how his last night was supposed to be. If Niall had been there, things would have been different. Niall was always so good at changing the subject if he knew it was something Harry didn’t want to talk about. He missed Niall, and he missed Louis.

When he left the bar it had started raining. He got his phone out of his pocket and dialled Niall’s number. Niall answered with a sleepy voice.

“Hi.”

“Niall, he is everywhere.”

“What? Who is everywhere?”

“Louis.”

“Ok?”

“His beautiful eyes and the way they can look right into my soul, his toned body, his smile, his laugh, the way he stretches in the morning…” Harry trailed off.

“Harry, are you ok?”

“I just miss him, and I miss you. Why can’t you be here with me now?”

“I miss you too.” Niall paused for a minute “Mmm.. Harry?”

“Yeeeah.”

“Maybe it not such a good idea for you to go on tour with Louis.” Niall paused again, waiting for Harry to respond. Harry didn’t know what to say so he stayed quiet.

Niall continued. “You said you like him, and that you’d try to not think about him like that? But you keep being hung up on the guy when you know you can’t have him. You start talking about how his eyes can look right into your soul and after Louis left with a girl when we were at the club you seemed jealous. It sounds like you are starting to fall in love with him.”

Harry was standing in the rain, and when Niall stopped talking Harry completely broke down. He was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Harry? You ok?” Niall sounded worried.

“I-I’m in love with him. And it hurtsss..” Harry managed to get out between his sobs.

Niall continued talking until Harry got home. Niall was really sweet, he kept reassuring him that everything was going to be alright. Niall tried to suggest one more time that maybe going on tour with Louis was not a good idea, but stopped when Harry cried out that it was the only way he got to see Louis and that he needed to see Louis.


	3. …but never having you

They were in a private jet somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. Harry had a massive headache and his eyes were still red from crying last night. Louis was sitting opposite him, listening to music.

Harry tried to close his eyes and get some sleep. They were landing in New York in a few hours and after looking over all the things Louis was doing while they were there and all the unreplied e-mails Harry had, he knew he was not going to get much time to rest.

“Long night?” Louis had taken his headphones off and was smiling at Harry.

“Yes. It got a bit late.”

Louis laughed. “No offence, but you look worse than I usually do when I’ve been out late, and that’s saying something.”

“Thanks.”

“You can go lay down in the back, the seatbacks there can be pushed all the way down, so it’s almost like a bed.”

“I think I’ll do that, thank you.”

Harry got up and stumbled his way to the back of the cabin. It felt so good laying down. Last night had really done his head in. Finally admitting that he was on love with Louis was a relief. He knew he had been in love with Louis for a while but he never wanted to admit it to himself, and saying it aloud made him feel better and worse at the same time.

He felt better because it was good being honest with himself and like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he finally was able to say it.

He felt worse because he knew he was in it alone, he knew he could never have Louis and that he probably would be hopelessly in love with him forever or at least until he found someone that made him feel like he felt when he was around Louis. Harry doubted that would ever happen. He could not put his finger on it, but there was something so special about Louis. It was the way Louis looked at him, and made him feel. He had butterflies in his stomach, he felt warm and at home when he was around him.

Harry drifted off thinking about how good Louis made him feel.

 

* * *

 

 

“Harry? Harold? We are landing soon.”

“Huh?”

“Time to get up, we’re soon in New York.”

“Uhm.. ok.”

Harry felt better when he got up, his head was not aching as much as it had done before. He looked out the window and saw the New York skyline. He had always wanted to travel and see the world, but he had never had time or money to do it. He got up his camera and started to take pictures. He loved photography, he always liked to capture experiences and beautiful things.

 Louis looked at him, “you probably won’t get the best pics from an airplane window.”

“I know. I just always wanted to take a picture of the New York skyline in the beautiful sunset.”

“You like photography?” Louis looked at Harry’s camera.

Harry smiled. “Yes, it’s one of my hobbies.”

“What else do you like?”

“Books and poetry, and music. I like to paint too, but I’m not sure if I’m any good at it.”

“So you’re an artsy type? Bit of a hipster?”

“I like art, but I wouldn’t call myself a hipster.”

“Really? I think the hats I’ve seen you wearing begs to differ,” Louis smirked.

“Well, ok. Maybe I sometimes do wear clothes and hats that are a bit hipster-ish,” Harry laughed.

When they touched down on the tarmac Harry felt good. Louis was interested in what he liked, and it was nice to have conversations like that with him. It was usually work they talked about, and having personal conversations with Louis, were Louis was interested in Harry’s life and conversations were Louis shared things about himself made Harry like Louis more. Harry knew it was bad that he liked it so much, he didn’t need to fall more in love with Louis, he needed to stop being in love with him. He was just not ready to give up the good feelings he had inside when Louis was around.

 

* * *

 

 

They had been in New York for over a week. Louis had done two concerts and a ton of appearances and interviews, and he had been out at the clubs almost every night.

Harry couldn’t really understand why they called it a small tour, Louis had concerts in New York, Orlando, Dallas, San Diego, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and San Francisco. But Harry was new to all of this and when he looked over the planned dates for the world tour Louis would have after his hiatus, he understood why they considered this small.

The fans were wild everywhere Louis went, they knew it would be a while before Louis came back for his world tour, and they were hoping to see their idol now and not have to wait until he came back.

Harry had loved the time they had spent in New York, he had to work a lot but he also had some free time to explore the city and do some shopping. Harry loved walking the streets of New York, just taking in the big city and taking pictures of buildings and interesting people.

It was their last night in New York before they went to Orlando. Harry was in his room packing up his stuff before he went out to dinner. The crew had already left and Harry was alone with Louis. Harry figured Louis was going out so he thought he would get dinner on his own and maybe walk around the city.

Harry was surprised when there was a knock at the door and that Louis was at the other side when he went to open.

“Hey, what you doing tonight?” Louis asked.

“Ehm.. I was think about going out to dinner.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Of course you can join me.”

Harry was so happy with all the time he got to spend with Louis. The time in New York had been fantastic, and going out to dinner with Louis the last night had made it magical.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry was with Louis in his dressing room before his first concert in Dallas. They had arrived earlier in the day and only had time to settle in to their hotel rooms before they went to the arena Louis was performing at.

Since New York Louis had been more distant, he had barely talked to Harry. Sometimes Harry got the feeling that Louis was ignoring him. It was strange, they had good conversations and a great time together in New York. Harry didn’t understand what had happened, but when they were in Orlando, Louis acted like a completely different person. It had been a hard for Harry. He loved having Louis’ attention and listening to him talk. Harry noticed that he stared at Louis more when he didn’t have his attention or when Louis barely recognized the fact that Harry was there, it had been like a staring contest with Harry as the only participant.

Louis was looking at himself in the mirror in the dressing room. He stretched his arms over his head, revealing the lower part of his abdomen.

Harry bit his lip while looking at how the shirt clung to his body and the naked skin between his shirt and his trousers.

“See something you like?”

Harry looked up. Louis had turned his head and was looking directly at Harry. He lowered his arms and turned his whole body so he was facing Harry.

Harry’s heart was beating fast. Louis had caught him staring. He felt like Louis had noticed the way he looked at him before but Louis had always given him a crooked smile or just pretended he didn’t notice that Harry was looking. This time he had actually called him out on it.

Harry opened and closed his mouth a few times. He could not look Louis in the eye, so he just stared at his feet. “Uu-uh.. I..”

“Louis, you’re on in ten.” Someone called from the hallway.

“I’ll be right there.” Louis walked past Harry. Harry smelled the scent of his cologne and shampoo when he walked by. He felt his dick twitch. He should not be turned on by this. Louis could fire him for checking him out, for essentially being a creep. Harry was scared, but mostly turned on.

Harry didn’t know what to do. Go watch the concert or hide back at his hotel room? He couldn’t help himself. If Louis fired him this could be the last time Harry got to see him. He had to watch the concert.

 

 

Harry was standing on the floor beside the catwalk in the area reserved for members of the crew. Louis was jumping around and dancing on stage, he was incredible live. So full of life and singing his songs perfectly, his voice was amazing. Louis looked down and met Harry’s eyes, Harry’s heart stared beating faster.

A few minutes later Louis started singing a song the song No Control, a song that a lot of people had interpreted to be about sex, waking up horny and not wanting to leave bed all day. In the middle of the chorus Louis started straddling the mic stand, grinding up and down. Harry felt his dick twitch again. A few moments later Louis let his hand glide down his upper body, down to grab his crotch. Harry’s dick was throbbing against the fabric of his trousers. He couldn’t take it anymore. He walked fast towards the exit of the venue and to the hotel a few blocks away. It would have been easier to just find a secluded space at the arena, but Harry was not keen on anyone finding him. It was bad enough that Louis had caught him staring.

When he finally got in his hotel room. He pulled down his trousers and pants, his cock was hard and leaking pre-come. Harry laid down with his back on the bed. He started stroking himself. His cock was throbbing in his hand. He let his hand slowly stroke from the base to the tip. He let one finger swipe over the pre-come on his cock head, spreading it all over his glans. He let his fingers stroke around the glans.  It felt like his heart was in his cock, it was throbbing so hard. He moaned at the sensation when he applied light pressure to the frenulum.

He wanted something inside of him. He didn’t have any lube so he spat on his fingers. He let his fingers slowly play with his rim, before he harshly pushed one inside his hole. It hurt, but it also felt so good. He fucked himself with his finger before letting another slip in while stroking himself in rapid motions. When he added a third finger he felt so full, but he wanted more. He wanted Louis’ cock inside him. He continued stroking his cock and fucking himself with his fingers, thinking about Louis.

He felt the heat building up in his groin, heart beating faster and faster. He came all over his stomach.

After he cleaned himself up in the bathroom he walked back to the arena.

He didn’t really know what he was doing when he walked backstage where the crew and a few guests were gathered. He started talking with a few of the guys that were around his age while looking around the room for Louis. Harry found him leaned up against a wall talking to a man in a suit, Harry had never seen him before. Louis nodded at what the man was saying, and sipped slowly from his beer. The man touched Louis’ shoulder and Louis narrowed his eyes. They continued talking.

After a while Harry left the room go to the toilet. He washed his hands and face, and let a hand comb through his hair.

As he was walking towards the door, it opened and Louis was standing in front of him. Harry gulped. Louis walked towards him and almost past him when he stopped. He grabbed Harry’s arm. Louis held on tight to Harry’s bicep, standing close side by side. Louis turned his head and looked into Harry’s eyes. Harry’s face was bright red. He felt so embarrassed that Louis had caught him staring, and the feeling didn’t get any better when he thought about what he had just done in his hotel room.

Louis facial expression was hard to read, but he didn’t look angry. Harry hated that he couldn’t read him, he wanted to know what Louis was thinking. Louis let go of Harry’s arm and walked towards the sink.

Harry stood still for a few minutes, not understanding what had just happened. He walked slowly to the door. He really wanted to turn around and look at Louis, but he was scared.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning what had usually been his favourite part of the day he now dreaded. Louis always looked so soft in the mornings, so fragile and he always looked at Harry with a huge smile when he handed him his coffee. Now he was scared that Louis would look at him differently.

Harry opened the door. Louis was sleeping, the duvet covering only his legs. Harry walked up to the bed with Louis’ coffee.

“Uhh-mm. Louis?” Harry looked down at him. Louis was not responding. “Good morning, Louis. I made you some coffee,” he said a bit louder.

Louis started moving and slowly opened his eyes. He was still soft, looking up at Harry with a smile on his face.

“Thank you,” he said while reaching out for the coffee.

Harry went over to get his iPad. “Today you don’t have anything planned during the day, it’s only your concert tonight.” Louis had two shows in Dallas, after tonight’s show they were leaving for San Diego.

Louis got up from the bed and stretched like he always did. Harry forced himself to turn the other way. He was not going to fuck this up. He was not going to lose his job. Louis was acting like normal, so it seemed like he was going to let Harry off the hook for being a creep.

Louis laughed behind him. Harry turned around, Louis was still standing there only in his pants. He walked up to Harry, took the iPad out of his hands and started tapping on it. Harry swallowed. Louis was so close.

“I want to go shopping today.”

Harry was a bit confused. Didn’t his stylist provide him with everything he needed?

Louis noticed Harry’s confused look, “for my personal wardrobe.”

“Ok. Do you want me to call your bodyguard so he can go with you?”

“No, it’s ok. Just you and me is fine.”

Louis started putting on clothes. Just you and me. No, that was not going to be fine. How was Harry supposed to manage being alone with Louis without staring at him?

 

A car drove them to a crowed shopping street. Not brining Louis bodyguard was a bad idea, if anyone recognised Louis they were fucked. Update accounts could spread the word on Twitter like wildfire, and they could have hundreds of fans all wanting a piece of Louis. Louis didn’t seem to care about his own safety, he just jumped out of the car as soon as the driver stopped. Harry followed hesitantly.

They walked past a few stores before Louis found one he wanted to go into. The two women working in the store looked at them when they walked in the door. The younger one, probably in her early twenties, squealed when she saw who had walked in the door. Now it’s only a matter of minutes before everyone knew where Louis was, Harry thought to himself.

“Hi, sweetheart.” Louis walked up to her smiling bright.

The girl looked like she was about to pass out when he put a hand on her shoulder. The other woman rolled her eyes.

“Do you want a picture?”

“Y-yes.”

Louis took the picture with her, and she looked like she was about to pass out again.

“Can you do me a favour?” Louis asked the girl.

“Yes, yes. Anything!”

“Can you wait a few hours before posting that, and not tell anyone that I’m here?”

“Yes, of course,” she said clutching her phone like it was her most prized possession.

“Thanks, love,” he gave her a hug.

She walked on wobbly feet over to the counter. Harry was amazed that she had not passed out yet.

Louis started looking around the store. “Come on, Styles. I need to find something that will make the girls swoon.”

“I think you got that covered already,” Harry said, gesturing to the girl who was now leaning against the counter with tears in her eyes. Louis laughed, picked out a few thing and made his way to the dressing rooms.

Harry looked at the girl again. He was glad he never really had an interest in celebrities. It must be exhausting, especially with Louis. He was doing things and dropping singles at all hours of the day and night. Harry couldn’t imagine his fans got much sleep if they followed his life and movements as closely as they seemed to do when you looked at Twitter and Tumblr.

“Harry, can you come here for a second?”

“Yes.”

“Come in and help me with this zipper, it’s stuck.”

Harry’s heart started racing when he stepped into the dressing room and Louis shut the door behind him.

Harry’s hands were shaking when he moved his hands down to the zipper on Louis’ trousers. The zipper was really stuck. Harry tried a few times, but when his hands got too close to Louis’ cock, he froze. Louis was too close, he could feel his breath on his skin.

He moved his hands away from Louis’ trousers and straightened up. Louis looked at Harry with a sparkle in his beautiful blue eyes.

“Guess I won’t be buying these.” He let the trousers slide down his legs. Harry just stood there frozen, trying not to look. Louis started unbuttoning his shirt. Harry swallowed. When Louis took his shirt off he looked at Harry. Harry could not read his expression so he had no clue why Louis was doing this. Louis tried on a few shirts and sweaters. He put them on and removed them slowly. Harry just stood there feeling his cock grow heavy against his thigh.

Finally, Louis put his own clothes back on and walked out of the dressing room and Harry felt like he could breathe again. When Harry walked out of the dressing room, the girl was putting the clothes Louis had bought in a bag. Harry walked up to Louis and took the bag when the girl presented it to him. Harry was his PA. He was going to carry the bags, not walk around with a growing semi in his pants.

They proceeded to the next store. Harry watched as Louis talked with people in the store, taking pictures and making a few more girls cry when he hugged them. He picked out some items and went to the dressing room.

“Harry?”

“Yeah..”

“Come here, I need your opinion on something.”

Harry walked up to the door, but Louis didn’t open it. Harry slowly pulled the door open. Louis was wearing a basic t-shirt.

“Come in”

Harry stepped into the dressing room. This one was smaller than the one in the previous store. Harry was standing closer to Louis.

“I’m not really sure about this one,” Louis said while running his fingers up and down his upper body.

“Uhmm.. It looks nice,” Harry said, feeling a little flustered as he followed Louis’ fingers’ movements across his chest.

“You sure? I was also looking at this one,” he held up another almost identical t-shirt. Louis started to take of the one he was wearing and putting on the other. Just as slowly as he did before.

Harry wanted to scream. What the fuck was this? Harry was full on hard in his pants. It was two almost identical t-shirts. The guy was a fucking millionaire; he could buy them both! Why the fuck drag Harry in here to watch him try on clothes? Was it to humiliate him or tease him, show Harry what he couldn’t have? Harry could’ve just walked out after Louis had made his decision on the t-shirts, but Harry couldn’t move. He was frozen to the ground watching Louis try on clothes.

When they walked out of the store Harry had trouble walking, his legs were shaky and his cock was painfully hard.

They went into a few more stores, but Louis did not find anything he wanted to try on. Thank god.

Their last stop was a jewellery store. Louis bought necklaces for his sisters. Harry was looking at an armband. It was beautiful. He really wanted it, but when he looked at the price he knew it was too much to spend on a simple armband. He looked up and Louis was staring right at him. Harry felt weak at the knees and he had to go outside to get some air.

 

* * *

 

 

When they got back to the hotel Harry went to his room and had a cold shower. He didn’t have time for anything else.

There was a knock on the door so Harry put on his pants and went to open. Louis stood on the other side of the door. Louis looked down Harry’s half-naked body, his eyes stopped at the butterfly on his chest and the laurels on his hips.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out after the concert tonight with a few of the lads?” Louis smiled at him.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Great,” Louis said before he turned around and walked down the hallway, the fabric of his jeans clinging perfectly to his glorious arse.

Harry wanted to hit himself. Why did he continue to look at Louis and think these things? Well he knew why, and it felt like it was nothing he could do about it, the feeling would not go away.

Harry arrived at the concert venue two hours before the show started. The first person that met him when he walked down the hall towards Louis dressing room was Liam. Liam jumped Harry, giving him a hug squeezing the air out of Harry’s lungs.

“How’s my favourite PA?”

“I’m good.”

“Hope he is treating you alright,” Liam’s lips formed in a little smirk and there was a twinkle in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled back, “how are you doing?”

“I’m great, good to have some time off. I’m coming with you to California. Gonna be good to spend some time with my best mate.”

Harry was surprised, Louis hadn’t told him Liam was joining them on tour. After talking with Liam for a bit, Harry excused himself and walked towards Louis’ dressing room.

The door was open and he could hear Louis talking on the phone.

“Really? You all think this is a good idea? Well, if I have to do it.” He paused for a minute.

“And what is it that you want pictures of?” Louis paused again listening to the person on the other end of the line. “Sure. And when you say smash it up a bit. Do you mean like damages in the 5k region?” Harry felt bad for listening to Louis conversation, but he stood there frozen.

“Yes. I can do that. Just make sure they are there at midnight, I’m not staying out long tonight.” He hung up.

Harry walked into the room. Louis is sitting on a chair head in his hands. He looked tired.

Louis didn’t say much. He just sat there until it was ten minutes before he had to walk on stage. He got up and walked past Harry towards the door stopping for a moment by the mirror to fix his fringe.

Even though Louis was distant and looked tired before walking on stage, he delivered a great show. It’s almost like he is a different person up there. Liam and Harry was standing together, Liam sang along to every song, made funny faces and jumped around. Harry really likes Liam, he reminds him a bit of Louis, when he is not in a sulky mood.

When Louis came back to the dressing room he looked even more tired than before. Harry made sure Louis got something to eat. Louis was clearly upset about something, and it was like the nice and funny Louis was completely drained out of him.

 

* * *

 

 

Louis leaned his head back against the wall next to a bar in the VIP area. His mood only seemed to get worse when they arrived at the club, but Louis still started flirting with some girls and now one of them was grinding up against him. Harry was talking with Liam and a guy named Tony, who was part of the crew. They were about ten guys who went out that evening, it was fun spending time with the lads in a more relaxed setting. If Louis had only been in a better mood and joined them the night would have been perfect.

It was just before midnight when Louis came up behind Liam and squeezed his shoulder. Liam looked up at Louis raising an eyebrow, Liam turned to look at two girls standing right behind Louis. Liam gave a weak smile and nodded. Louis turned around, took the girls under his arms and walked out of the club. Harry tried not to think about it too much, it upset him seeing Louis leave with some random girls.

The next morning he was a bit shocked to find Louis awake sitting in a chair drinking coffee. Louis looked up at Harry when he entered the room.

“Good morni.. Oh!” Harry looked around the room and a knot formed in his stomach.


	4. Just hold me baby and I’m in ecstasy

There were condom wrappers on the floor. A pair of panties and what looked like lipstick stains on the sheets, an empty bottle of champagne and condoms on the nightstand. It looked like someone had cut through the picture above the bed with a knife and there were broken champagne glasses on the floor.

Louis was just sitting there drinking his coffee, staring at the bed.

“Can you do me a favour?” Louis handed Harry his phone. “Snap some pictures of this and send to that e-mail address.” Louis pointed at the screen, Harry didn’t recognize the name, but the domain name belonged to Louis’ management.

As Harry hesitantly opened the camera app, Louis walked over to a corner and picked up a vase, he threw it violently on the floor making Harry jump.

“Make sure you get a good shot of the bed and the nightstand.”

Harry’s hands were shaking as he started snapping photos. Louis walked over to the TV, on his way he pushed over a table and a chair. Harry yelped when a loud noise filled the room. Louis had knocked the TV over.

The door flew open. “What the fuck is going on?!” Liam yelled as he walked into the room. He stopped dead in his tracks, taking in the room before him. He looked just as confused and shocked as Harry was.

Louis didn’t respond to Liam’s question, he just turned to Harry. “Have you got the photos?”

“Yeah, I just sent them.” Harry’s voice was weak and shaking. Seeing Louis throwing things around scared him.

“Good.”

“What the hell do you mean photos?” Liam walked up to Harry and grabbed Louis’ phone from his hands. He looked shocked when he looked at the e-mail Harry had just sent.

“We should get going.” Louis walked out the door, leaving Harry and Liam looking at each other with shocked and worried expressions.

 

* * *

 

Harry loved flying in private planes, it was way more relaxing than flying commercial. Liam was sitting opposite Harry, staring out the window, and Louis was on the other side of the cabin.

Harry had picked up a guidebook of California, he really hoped he could do some sightseeing while they were there, but right now his mind was elsewhere. They had not said much to each other after the hotel room this morning. Harry checked online before they boarded the flight, the pictures of Louis leaving the club with the two girls and his smashed up hotel room was everywhere. Harry felt bad. The fans were concerned about Louis. They could see the good and funny man he really was and not just all the stuff the tabloids wrote.

Harry felt someone sit down in the seat next to him. He looked up. Louis was looking right into his eyes, he started rubbing Harry’s bicep and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Don’t say I never gave you anything.” Harry could feel his breath on his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Louis handed Harry a small box, Harry took it with shaking hands.

He opened it slowly. Inside was the armband he had been looking at when they were shopping yesterday. Harry smiled and looked into Louis’ eyes. They were kind again, more relaxed, almost twinkling. Before Harry managed to say something, Louis got up and walked to his seat at the other side of the cabin. Harry looked at Liam with a confused look, Liam just shook his head.

Harry spent the rest of the flight from Dallas to San Diego trying to understand Louis. One moment he was all nice and smiley, and the next he was grumpy, harsh and even mean. Harry couldn’t understand why Louis was acting like that. It was exhausting trying to keep up with, not knowing what Louis would be like in the next moment. All Harry really knew was that he was in love with Louis, and he desperately wanted Louis to be happy all time.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry felt well rested the next morning. They had all taken an early night yesterday. It was exhausting travelling this much, and Louis’ mood swings didn’t really help make it easier.

After breakfast and a long shower Harry walked into Louis’ room. Louis was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful when he slept. Harry made his coffee before he went over to the bed and started waking him.

Louis smiled when Harry handed him the coffee. Harry leaned up against the wall next to the nightstand, looking at his iPad. Looked like Louis only had a concert tonight and an appearance at a nightclub. Harry didn’t know if he could take anymore clubs.

Louis got out of bed and stretched as he always did and Harry failed to look away yet again.

Louis’ pants were bulging more than usual. He was hard. Harry couldn’t take his eyes away from the front of Louis’ pants. He could see the outline of Louis’ hard cock.

Louis let out a soft laugh, “See something you like?” he asked, like he had done in the dressing room when he caught Harry staring.

 Louis was scratching his bare chest with a smug look on his face.

“Uhm..”

“Really, Styles. You should try not to be that obvious. It’s embarrassing.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t know what to say.

Louis narrowed his eyes. “You know, I have seen you looking at me since day one. Your breath getting shallower, you start to blush and sometimes I can see you get hard,” Louis laughed, “maybe you go back to your room and touch yourself while thinking about me.” He was teasing Harry.

The Louis who smiled at him when he handed him his coffee was gone. Now he was just teasing and embarrassing Harry. Harry’s cheeks turned crimson. He didn’t know what to say so he straightened up and started to walk away from the wall. He needed to get out of there.

Louis grabbed Harry’s arms, holding him back.

“Louis, I-I’m eehh..”

“Don’t know what to say, huh?” Louis laughed again.

Harry was getting really upset now. Louis was acting like a jerk. Harry wanted to get out of the room and remove himself from the situation, but Louis wouldn’t let him.

“Louis, please. Why are you doing this? I’m really sorry for looking. I promise not to do it again.”

“Why am I doing this?” Louis’ face was like stone now. “I’ll tell you why I’m doing this.”

Louis pushed Harry up against the wall. “I look at you, Mr. Gay and proud of it, prancing around. Checking me out at every opportunity you get.” Louis grabbed Harry and turned him so he was facing the wall. “Do you know how upsetting that is?”

Louis’ erection was pressing against Harry’s ass. Suddenly he felt Louis’ hand on his hips, he slowly started to lift up Harry’s shirt. Harry lifted his arms above his head so Louis could take the shirt off completely. Louis’ hands were all over Harry’s naked upper body. Harry’s cock was getting hard. It was so hot being pressed up against a wall with Louis’ hands all over him. 

Louis started kissing and biting Harry’s neck and back. Harry had dreamt about the feeling of Louis against him, touching him and making him moan, it was so much better in reality. With every touch Harry shivered. When Louis sucked a mark on his back it felt like he was on fire.

Louis’ hands made their way to the front of Harry’s trousers, he unbuttoned them and pulled down the zipper. Harry helped Louis remove the trousers and pants completely. He was panting against the wall, when Louis bit his neck, he let out a soft moan.

“You like this, huh?” Louis breathing was getting heavier.

“Yeah,” Harry breathed.

Louis started massaging his bum cheeks before he spread them slowly. He drew circles with his finger around Harry’s rim. Harry moaned and moved one of his hands towards his cock.

“Don’t,” Louis whispered in his ear.

Harry heard a squirting sound. Louis pressed a lubed finger against Harry’s rim. Harry moaned loudly when Louis pushed it inside. Louis found his spot almost immediately, letting his finger stoke over it slowly and making small circles around it. Harry felt the heat building up inside him. Louis let another finger into Harry and started applying more pressure to his prostate.

Harry couldn’t take it anymore, the pressure on his spot made it unbearable for him to hold it, he needed Louis’ cock inside him so badly.

“Mmm.. Fuck me.”

“Hm?”

“Please, I need to feel you inside me.”

Louis laughed and pushed another finger into Harry. He let his fingers move in and out of Harry, widening his hole, opening him up, getting him ready to take Louis’ cock.

Louis removed his fingers and put on a condom. Harry felt the tip of Louis’ cock at his entrance. Louis pushed his cock slowly into Harry, giving Harry time to adjust to his size. Louis cock stretched him out. Harry moaned at the sensation of having all of Louis inside of him. Fuck, he was big. Harry was panting against the wall. Louis started to move with his hands on Harry’s hips. He started with slow and shallow thrusts, his cock barely reaching Harry’s spot, it made Harry squirm and beg for more.

Louis was breathing heavier as he started to thrust into Harry harder. He felt the heat build-up even more in his groin. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, he had been dreaming about Louis fucking him for a long time and he could barely remember the last time he had sex. Louis started to hit his spot with every thrust, Harry was clenching around him. He had an intense feeling in his groin, making it’s way to his gut and chest, blood rushed to his head and he started shaking, cum was shooting from his cock up at the wall.

A few moments later Louis moaned and fucked into him harder. Louis continued fucking Harry through the aftershocks.

After Louis pulled out of Harry he heard him walk into the bathroom. Harry was still panting against the wall. He didn’t want to let the feeling go, he wanted the moment when Louis was touching him to last forever.

When he finally managed to tear himself away from the wall and put on his pants Louis emerged from the bathroom fully clothed.

Louis opened his mouth to say something when the door to the hotel room opened and Liam walked in. His eyes widened when he saw Harry standing there in his pants, the condom wrapper on the floor and Harry’s cum on the wall. Liam looked at Harry and then Louis.

“Seriously? You should have locked the door. What if someone walked in a little earlier?” He was looking at Louis with wide eyes.

Louis walked over to where Harry was standing and picked up his phone from the nightstand. Louis shrugged, “no one walks into my room besides you and Harry.”

Harry felt awkward where he was standing in his pants with Liam eyeing him and Louis.

“You should clean that up before anyone see,” Liam gestured toward the cum on the wall, “Wouldn’t want anyone seeing that and telling the tabloids that Louis Tomlinson fucked someone against the wall in his hotel room.”

“That wouldn’t be so different from the things they already write about me,” Louis laughed.

Louis looked over at Harry. “I’m going to rehearsal.” 

Louis walked to the door and Liam followed him, leaving Harry was alone in the hotel room.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry was nervous when he got to the concert venue that night. He didn’t know where he had Louis. Louis had fucked him a few hours earlier, but he didn’t know what Louis was thinking.

It had surprised Harry when Louis started touching him. He never thought Louis was gay or bi, he was always so flirty with women and he had never seen him look at a man like that. Harry knew Louis never slept with the girls he was seen with in public. Harry had just assumed Louis was a gentleman and only let the public believe he slept with them because management had told him to and to keep up his image as a flirtatious womanizer.

He walked into Louis’ dressing room, Louis was getting his hair done and Liam was laid out on a sofa with a beer in his hand. Liam looked at him when he walked into the room and sat up so Harry could sit down next to him. Liam gave Harry a little smirk and put an arm over Harry’s shoulders.

“You want a beer?”

“I’m working, so I can’t”

Louis looked at Harry. “Sure you can.”

“I- I can?”

“Yes, get yourself a cold one.”

Liam handed Harry a beer, Harry took it hesitantly looking at Louis. Louis nodded.

It felt good leaning back against the sofa drinking beer after the day he had had. It hadn't been a long day, it had just been so emotionally draining and confusing. When Louis was finished getting his hair done he sat down on the sofa on the other side of Liam.

Liam and Louis were talking and laughing. Harry didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. He just sat there wondering what was going to happen next. What did Louis want? Was it just a onetime thing, Louis didn’t even kiss Harry on the mouth, he just pushed him against the wall and fucked him. Was it just something Louis needed to get out of his system before moving on? Was this going to keep happening? Was Louis just going to use Harry for sex whenever he felt like it, or did Louis want more?

Harry had loved it when Louis touched him and fucked him, but Harry wanted more. He wanted all of Louis so badly. Not just the sex part, he wanted to kiss, cuddle and just sit and admire what Louis was like without feeling like a creep for staring at him.

After a while Liam left to get some food leaving Harry and Louis alone in the room. Harry got nervous so he got up, maybe the nervousness would stop and his heart would stop racing if he left the room. Louis grabbed Harry and pulled him down to straddle him. Louis put his hands on Harry’s thighs, who were now resting on either side of Louis, he looked into Harry’s eyes. Harry started breathing heavier and he swallowed like crazy.

There was a knock at the door. Harry tried to get out of Louis lap, but Louis held him in place. “You’re on in fifteen minutes,” someone said through the door.

“Ok.”

Louis looked up at Harry again, letting one hand gently stroke through Harry’s long curly hair. Harry’s heart was beating out of his chest when Louis pulled him in for a kiss.

His tongue was soft, meeting Harry’s, kissing him slowly. Louis started exploring Harry’s mouth. Tongue firmer, more wanton. Kissing him intensely. He tasted so good. Harry wanted the kiss to never end. When Louis pulled away, Harry let out a little whine.

Louis smiled at him. “I got to go.”

Louis had to go on stage and after he was going to a club. Harry did not want him to go to the club.

“Eehh.. You going out tonight?”

“You already know the answer to that, it’s in my schedule.”

“Mmm.. yeah, of course.”

Louis looked at him, tilting his head to the side. “I would ask you to come, but the look in your eyes tell me you don’t want to watch what I do at the club.”

Harry looked down. Was he that easy to read? Louis put his hands on Harry’s cheeks and kissed him again.

 

* * *

 

 

Pictures of Louis leaving the club with a girl emerged. The headlines were not a pleasant read for Harry. There were several websites trying to keep count of how many women Louis had been on dates with and had allegedly slept with.

Harry spent a lot of time looking at things they wrote about Louis online. He was not proud of it, but he had to see what people were saying about Louis and how wrong they really were. Harry knew what Louis was really like. He was a man with a big heart. Harry was with Louis almost every waking hour of the day so he got to see the real Louis. He had handled Louis' correspondence with different charities at home in the UK. He saw how involved Louis was with them and how much money he was donating, but the world only got to see a reckless womanizing party boy. It really upset Harry.

After the kiss on the sofa in the dressing room Louis had not touched Harry again, not pushed up him against any walls or kissed him on any sofas. Louis didn’t ignore Harry, he just acted like he used to do when Harry first started working for him.

They were driving in a tour bus on their way to Los Angeles, they had driven from San Diego up the coast before they drove into the country. They were now heading to Palm Springs before they got to Los Angeles. They had stopped at small towns all over the place taking their time exploring, most nights they had slept on the bus. Louis seemed to love it, he was excited every time they stopped and a few times he insisted on playing football out in the middle of nowhere.

Harry noticed that Liam had started to invite him along when he and Louis was going out exploring the places they stopped. Harry was happy Liam invited him, he didn’t care if it was going out to eat, just laying by a pool drinking beers or playing football. Harry was happy with all the time he got to spend with Louis, see Louis smile, and see Louis goofing around with Liam.

They stopped at the Joshua Tree National Park before they were driving into Palm Springs. Harry stayed on the bus while the others went out to explore, he had some trouble sleeping on the bus at night and he desperately needed to lay down.

Harry was walking towards the back of the bus when he heard someone walking into the bus. He turned and found Louis standing there.

“Hi, thought you were going out exploring?”

Louis looked up and down Harry’s body, tilted his head and bit down on his bottom lip.

“Take off your clothes.”

Harry blinked, it took him a few seconds to process what Louis was saying.

Harry took off his shirt, when he started to take off his trousers and pants Louis walked closer.

Harry was standing naked before Louis. Louis smiled smugly when he saw that Harry’s cock was getting hard.

“Go to the back of the bus.”

Harry walked into one of the small bedrooms in the back. His heart was beating faster. Louis closed the door behind them.

“Face the wall.”

Harry faced the wall, he rested his arms and head against it and pushed his arse out.

Louis started stroking Harry’s arse. Harry could hear him breathing heavy. “You are so fucking sexy.”

Louis removed his hands, Harry was about to turn his head to see where Louis was and why he stopped touching him when he felt a hard slap at his ass.

It stung and Harry cried out by the surprise.

Louis started stroking again until he removed his hand and slapped Harry’s arse one more time.

“Come here.”

Louis was sitting on the side of the bed, he grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him down. Louis whispered in his ear, “tell me if it gets to be too much.”

Harry could not believe what was happening; he was laying on his stomach in Louis’ lap with his ass in the air. Louis had one hand gently tugging Harry’s hair as he started slapping Harry’s ass and upper thigh with the other, between each blow he caressed the area he had just slapped.

Louis slapped hard. Harry felt tears in his eyes, he was panting, feeling his cock throbbing and an overwhelming feeling of arousal in his entire body.

Harry had never been spanked before, the thought of it ever happening had never even crossed his mind. When he felt the sting of each blow he realised that he liked it, he liked the feeling of pain and the soothing feeling of Louis’ caress afterwards.

After a particularly hard blow Harry cried out. He felt the tears that had been building up in his eyes make their way down his cheeks. Louis froze.

“You ok?”

 “Yeah.” Harry’s voice was raspy and hoarse. He already sounded so fucked out.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” Harry felt a bit embarrassed that he wanted Louis to continue but he enjoyed the feeling. He could feel Louis’ hard cock under him, so he knew Louis was enjoying this too.

Louis smacked him a few more times before he started to gently stroke the area he had just spanked. He helped Harry up and laid him down on the bed. Louis kissed him, put his hands on his face and wiped away the tears.

Harry’s ass felt so sensitive so he turned, propped a pillow under his hips and laid on his front.

“Why is it that every time I see you now I want to touch you?” Louis asked himself and let a hand stroke the side of Harry’s hip. “I want to feel your hot naked body against mine and hear you moan when I thrust into you.”

Louis got between Harry’s legs and spread his cheeks. Harry felt Louis breathing on his crack and he started licking Harry’s rim slowly with his soft wet tongue.

Harry moaned when Louis let tip of his tongue play with Harry’s rim. The feeling was divine, every lick made Harry skin shiver and his insides burn. Louis let his tongue swipe over Harry’s rim, before he made his tongue firmer and slowly licked into him. Louis licked deeper into Harry, pushing all of his tongue inside. It was so soft, and wet. Harry loved the sensation, he squirmed under Louis’ touch, his body begging for more. Louis let his tongue move slowly in and out of Harry’s hole, lips sucking around his hole, teeth leaving indentations on his skin.

Louis pushed two fingers inside and let them brush over Harry’s spot while he was licking around his hole. Harry was so turned on that his head was spinning, he got a familiar felling building up in his groin.

Harry whined when Louis took his hands off him and got up to get a condom. It felt like it took him forever to get back. Louis didn’t waste any time when he got back on the bed, he applied some lube on Harry’s hole and started to slowly push his cock in.

When Louis’ cock filled him up completely it felt like it was splitting Harry in half. Louis started to slowly thrust into him. Harry let out moans mixed with small shrieks when Louis thrust into his sore oversensitive ass.

Louis started to pound into Harry harder. Harry felt the overwhelming feeling of the orgasm running through his body, the clenching of the muscles in his ass and groin, the heat in his chest and blood rushing to his head, streaks of cum soiling the pillow under his hips. Louis moaned when Harry clenched around him. He collapsed on top of Harry.

“Fuck, that was good,” Louis said when he pulled out of Harry.

“Mmmm.”

Louis started putting on his clothes. “Going back out to see what the lads are up to.” He kissed Harry’s lips before he left the room.

 

* * *

 

 

When Louis came back with the others he acted like nothing had happened between him and Harry earlier in the day. The only time Harry could tell that Louis was thinking about what had happened, was when he smirked when Harry flinched as he was going to sit down on his sore ass.

Was this how it was going to be? Louis fucking Harry whenever he felt like it and barely acknowledging the fact that it happened afterwards? Of course Harry liked it when Louis fucked him, but it was not exactly the relationship he wanted them to have.


	5. Hope that you’re feeling me too

They were arriving in Los Angeles in a few hours. Harry wished Niall could be there and experience all of this with him. Harry had spoken with Niall since the drunken phone call before he left. He had sent a few messages with updates on where he was and to let Niall know he was ok, but it was not the same as having him there.

Harry was sitting in the front of the bus, frowning at his phone. “You ok?” Liam asked.

“Yes, it’s just, Niall have not replied to my message in a few days. And I uuhm.. Kind of miss him.”

“Ask him to come join us then.” Louis was suddenly standing beside Liam.

“Yeah, would be cool meeting your best mate again,” Liam said with a smile.

Harry looked down, he had looked at tickets thinking the same thing, but they were expensive and Niall and Harry couldn’t afford to spend a lot of money on that.

Louis seemed to understand what he was thinking. “Here,” he tossed his credit card over to Harry.

Harry looked at Louis with wide eyes, “I can’t let you do that,” he shook his head.

“Yes you can. Invite your friend and book the ticket, or I’ll do it for you,” Louis was giving him one of those brilliant smiles that made Harry’s heart beat faster.

Harry gave Louis a bright smile back.

He went to a bedroom in the back of the bus to call Niall. Niall picked up after a few rings, Harry told him he missed him and that he wanted Niall to come for a few days, and that the ticket would be taken care of. It sounded like Niall was sobbing when he said he wanted to be on the first flight out. After all that had happened, and with how much he missed his best friend Harry felt like a weight was slowly being lifted of his shoulders as he booked the ticket.

The door to the room opened, Louis walked in a closed the door behind him. He sat down on the bed next to Harry and stated stroking his back. His other hand rested on Harry’s thigh. Harry looked into Louis’ eyes trying to figure out what Louis wanted, though he was pretty sure where this was headed.

Louis wanted to have sex again Harry thought, that was until Louis opened his mouth and said “Liam thinks I’m being a jerk to you,” with a low voice, looking at Harry with a serious expression.

Harry was shocked, mostly by the fact that Louis wasn’t there to have sex with him, and a little by the fact that Liam thought Louis was a jerk after he had just been so kind to pay for Niall’s ticket, “What? You just paid for my friend to come visit because I missed him.”

“I think he meant I’m a jerk because I had sex with you and never really talked to you about it afterwards. I don’t want to confuse you, Harry. But it’s hard.” Louis’ serious expression was turning into something Harry couldn’t quite decipher, he looked like he was in deep thought and a little bit in pain at the same time.

Harry leaned closer, taking in all of the micro expressions Louis’ made while he was talking, trying to read him as best as he could. “Why is it hard?”

“I have to act like two different people, there is the me that the world sees and there is the me very few people get to see. I can’t be the me that I am in private out there.” Now he had more of a look of resignation. Trying to read Louis’ body language and facial expressions was hard, Harry would probably never be able to really read him and understand what he was thinking so he focused more on what Louis was saying.

Harry had seen a lot of different sides to Louis, he didn’t understand all of them, but he felt like he knew one thing, and that was when Louis was most himself. “But sometimes you are the real you out there, when you're talking with your fans and when you are on stage you seem like you are the real you.”

“Maybe I should put it another way. I'm always the real me. There are just some parts of me that I can’t show to the world. And some things people think about me that’s not true but I have to make them believe is true.” Louis swallowed. He looked deep into Harry’s eyes, the look of resignation still there.

Harry was happy that Louis had opened up to him a bit more, he couldn’t say or do anything else than leaning in to kiss him.

 

They arrived in LA an hour later, Louis and Harry had spent that hour making out in the back of the bus. Feeling Louis' body pressed against him and his hands all over his body had made Harry a bit lightheaded and his feet wobbly. He almost tripped and fell to the ground when he stepped out of the bus in front of the stadium Louis was playing the next day.

Louis came up behind him. “We didn’t really get to talk about everything. Come find me after rehearsal?”

“Yes,” Harry smiled. The fact that Louis wanted to talk and hopefully open up more to Harry made him hopeful that he would start feeling less confused about where he had Louis and what it was that was going on between them, though he still had the feeling that he would never really be able to read Louis or understand him.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry moved all of Louis' things into his hotel room. He then went over to his own room and had a shower, put on sweatpants and a t-shirt. He ordered room service and watched a movie. A few hours later he walked over to Louis’ room, Louis had to be back by now.

Louis was not in his room, since it was so late he decided to wait for Louis there. He laid down on the bed. He thought about the talk he and Louis was going to have, about what he wanted to come out of that. He was in love with Louis, even if Louis teased him and had a bit of a mean streak sometimes. Louis was still good and amazing. Harry felt like everything was perfect when it was just him and Louis, and they were having a good conversation or being intimate.

Thinking about being intimate with Louis set of a feeling that went straight to his cock and it was starting to feel heavy against his thigh. He let his hand slip into his sweatpants. He started gently touching himself, jerking himself off slowly inside his pants. A loud moan escaped him when he started thinking about Louis inside of him.

“So you do touch yourself while you think about me.” Louis voice startled Harry. He opened his eyes, Louis was standing right in front of him. Harry was mortified, a deep crimson colour spreading on his cheeks.

“Oh, don’t stop.” Louis’ voice was breathy.

Harry kept his hand in his pants but he couldn’t continue. It felt so embarrassing doing that in front of Louis when he had just caught him jerking off in his bed.

Louis sat down on the bed next to Harry. “Almost forgot we were going to talk.”

Harry removed his hand and sat up facing Louis.

“Uhm.. Harry, as I said earlier, I have a public persona that has to be maintained. No one can know that I like men. I know you won’t tell anyone. I just need you to understand why I have been acting the way I have towards you.” Louis stopped and his beautiful blue eyes met Harry’s. “I know you are attracted to me, and I’m attracted to you too.”

Harry looked down, Harry being attracted to Louis was the understatement of the year, but he couldn’t tell Louis that he was in love with him when Louis was only attracted to Harry.

“I wanted to push you away and keep things professional. You are really good at your job Harry, I didn’t want lose you as my PA. I just needed you to step back and not be attracted to me,” Louis continued.

Louis’ eyes focused on his hands that were resting in his lap, “I don't want to be with someone and drag them into this mess, making them watch me flirt with girls and not being able to be seen with me outside. And i didn't want to risk being with someone and have them possibly out me.”

“Louis, you can be seen with me outside because I work for you. I understand that there are things you have to do, I may not like it, but I understand why. And I would never out you.” Harry took Louis’ hand, letting his thumb rub soothing circles at the back of it.

“I just can’t promise you anything. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.” Louis looked at Harry, giving him one of those looks that were hard to decipher.

Harry looked deep into Louis’ eyes, he needed Louis to understand that Harry wanted him, and that for now it was ok that they just were together like this. “Louis, I don’t expect anything. I just want be with you. Even if it means we have to hide and I have to act like I don’t know you intimately when other people are around.”

Louis didn’t say anything he just straddled Harry, kissing him intensely. They fell asleep holding each other.

 

When Harry woke up the next morning Louis was spooning him. He smiled to himself when he felt Louis’ body clinging to him. He didn’t want to wake Louis but he was feeling so warm and sweaty. He had fallen asleep fully clothed, he had to take his sweatpants off, and managed to get them to his knees when he felt Louis move behind him. Louis started tugging at the waistband of Harry’s pants.

Harry was naked and Louis stated touching and kissing him all over, exploring every inch of his body. Louis sat up, resting his head against the headboard. He dragged Harry up to straddle him, taking the duvet over their legs. Their cocks were throbbing between them, leaking pre-cum. Harry leaned over to Louis’ bag on the floor beside the bed, where he knew the lube was. He handed Louis the lube.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure? You know you can top if you want to. I like to kind of share that really.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Need to feel you inside me again.”

Louis splashed some lube on his fingers and massaged Harry’s rim before he pressed one inside. Harry threw his head back and moaned when Louis applied more fingers, hitting his spot. He started to ride Louis’ fingers. Fuck this was good.

“OH! For fucks sake!”

Harry looked over his shoulder. Liam was standing by the door trying to look everywhere but the two men on the bed. “You have got to learn how to lock the door!”

Harry turned crimson. He was completely frozen straddling Louis who still had his fingers inside of him. Thank God the duvet was covering the lower half of their bodies so Liam couldn’t see Louis’ fingers in Harry’s ass.

Louis looked over Harry’s shoulder and smirked at Liam, “it’s not my fault you walked into my room. The do not disturb sign is on the door.”

“You always have that shit on your door. How was I supposed to know that this time you really were not to be disturbed?” Liam’s voice was getting high pitched and his face was getting more flushed by the second.

“Well.. knock next time, ok?”

Liam nodded. “We should get going. You wanted to go to that store opening, right?”

“Yes, just give me a minute to get dressed.” Louis’ fingers shifted inside of Harry. Harry involuntary let out a moan.

Liam’s face was a deep shade of red now, “ehh… I’ll wait outside.”

When Liam was out of the room Louis pulled his fingers out of Harry. “Sorry, babe. We have to pick this up another time.”

Harry just nodded, cheeks still red and burning. He was mortified that Liam had walked in on them.

 

* * *

 

 

After breakfast Harry went down to the pool, since Louis was out with Liam it looked like Harry had most of the day off.

He sipped on a soft drink and read a book while working on his tan. He looked up from his book when he heard some girly screams. There was Louis, walking with Liam towards the pool. Louis was wearing swim trunks, his bare suntanned and tattooed chest on display. Of course a few girls stared at him, he looked fucking sexy. Liam and Louis walked towards Harry and sat down on the sunbeds on either side on him.

“Enjoying your day, Styles?” Louis asked while rubbing the fingers that had been inside of Harry only a few hours ago.

“Yeah,” Harry chocked out, trying to keep the dirty thoughts out of his mind.

Louis and Liam laid down and started soaking up the sun. It didn’t take long before some long-legged wannabe models, in way to small bikinis, came over and started flirting with Louis. Louis flirted back and made the girls all giggly. For a gay man Louis was good at acting straight. Harry assumed he had been media trained and told how he had to be out in public. He laid back and tried to ignore what was happening. Liam had left and was now standing over by the pool bar.

When one of the girls ‘accidently’ spilled some of her drink on Louis stomach and insisted of wiping it off Harry got up and walked over to Liam. He felt a bit nauseous at the sight of the girls all over Louis.

“Man, if they only knew.” Liam said while he was looking over at Louis. “You know he likes you, right?”

“Ehh.. He told me he was attracted to me.”

Liam snorted, “attracted to you? Wow, he can really be a big twat sometimes. I think he is more than attracted to you. He is just too scared to admit it.”

Harry nervously played with his fingers. “Are you sure?”

“He have never told me about any guys he’s been with or any guys he likes. But he told me about you.”

Harry’s face lit up. “He did?”

“Yeah, the day I came to join you on tour he just suddenly opened up to me, came as a bit of a shock because he never likes to talk about feelings or really personal things. He didn’t exactly tell me that he likes you, he said he wanted you and he had noticed that you wanted him too. I told him that he should go for it.” Liam threw his arm over Harry’s shoulders, “I know it’s got to be hard to watch. I think it is hard to watch, and I don’t have feelings for the guy.”

Harry nodded, “I understand why he is doing it. Can’t really blame him for not wanting his sexuality to influence his career. So if this is what he has to do, that’s ok. It’s got to be ten times harder for him.”

Liam sighed, “he’s not happy about all the thing he has to do and not being able to tell his family who he really is, because he fears one of his younger siblings will slip up and accidentally out him. That’s really hard for him.”

Harry’s eyes were wide in shock, “his family don’t know? Not even his mom?”

“None of them know that he’s gay. He debated telling his mom, but didn’t want to make her lie to his siblings.”

“They all think he is this womanizing party boy?”

“I believe most of the people that know Louis and don’t know his secret knows what kind of man he really is, but it’s hard not to start believing in some of the things that are written about him when all of the articles basically says the same thing. That he is a womanizer.”  

Liam took up his phone and started snapping photos of Louis with the girls.

“Liam, what are you doing?” Harry was shocked that Liam took pictures of the scene in front of them.

“I’m doing it for Louis, so he can give them to his management and they can get them out there.”

“This is really fucked up,” Harry shook his head. It was just like the hotel room when Louis asked Harry to take pictures and send them to his management.

“Tell me about it, I feel like some weird creepy stalker taking pictures of my best mate so his management can give them to the tabloids.”

There was a pause as Liam was taking the pictures, giving Harry time to think about what Liam had been saying. “Are you the only one who knows about him?”

“Yeah. Well, some of the people that work closest with him probably suspects it."

“How did you find out?”

“I found him crying in bed a few years ago when I went with him on tour. I basically had to force him to tell me what was wrong. I don’t think he would have sat me down and told me so I’m kind of glad I found him like that. He clearly needed someone to talk to about it. I love the guy so I want to be there for him.” Liam smiled.

Louis walked over to them. “Did you get the pictures, Li?”

“Yes, already sent them to you.”

“Good. I need a shower after that. I have sticky girly drinks all over me.” Louis made a face and scrunched his nose.

Liam laughed and walked with Louis out of the pool area.

Harry went to get his things at the sunbed when two girls approached him. “Hey, do you know Louis Tomlinson?”

“Yeah,” Harry said hesitantly, not sure what the girls wanted.

“Can you tell him that there is this big party tomorrow night that we think he would like?” One of the girls handed him a card with the name and address of a club.

 

 

Harry told Louis about the girls that had approached him when they were sitting with Liam backstage hanging out before the concert started.

Liam took the card. “Couldn’t hurt, right? And Niall arrives tomorrow, it could be fun for all of us to go out.”

Louis nodded.

Harry just looked down at the floor. It would be fun going out, but not if Louis had to flirt with girls the whole night.

Louis stroked down Harry’s back, “It can just be a lads night out. I’ll try to keep the girls away.”

“I’ll keep the girls away from you, Lou.” Liam grinned.

Harry laughed, “yeah, it would be nice with a lads night out.”

Right before Louis was about to walk on stage he pulled Harry close, putting his hands on Harry’s hips. “I’m going to the recording studio after the concert tonight. And tomorrow you get the day off so you can hang out with Niall. So I won’t see you until the concert tomorrow night.”

“I can’t take the day off tomorrow you have several interviews,” Harry protested, mostly because he didn’t want to go so long without seeing Louis.

“Liam will go with me, it will be fine. You go spend the day with your best mate.” Louis stroked a hand down Harry’s cheek before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

 

 

When Harry woke up the next morning he was really excited. He had been missing Niall and it was going to be great seeing him again.

Louis had told Harry to get a car service to drive him and Niall around. It was apparently easier than getting a cab or renting a car. Harry didn’t disagree, it was nice to just leave the logistics to someone else. He just had to say where he was going.

Niall came running towards him at the airport and hugged him squeezing all the air from his lungs. It seemed that Niall had missed Harry just as much as Harry had missed Niall.

As they drove towards the hotel to put Niall’s bags into the room Niall asked Harry about life on the road. Niall didn’t ask him about Louis. He was grateful for that, but he had a feeling that Niall would start grilling him when they were alone.

Niall didn’t start asking about Louis until after they had lunch, they were walking down the Walk of fame, right by the Chinese Theatre when Niall looked at Harry. Niall looked very serious when he asked, “what’s it like working with Louis every day?”

“It’s good,” Harry said addressing his shoe. He was a shit liar and he knew that Niall would see right through him if he looked him in the eye.

“Is it hard seeing him every day?”

“Emm.. A little bit in the beginning, but lately it’s been ok.” Harry’s usually low and slow voice was getting a little high pitched.

Niall didn’t seem convinced, “now it’s ok? Really? Harry you were crying to me on the phone because you are in love with the guy.”

Harry took a deep breath before he looked into Niall’s eyes, “yeah, it’s become easier keeping my feelings in check.”

Niall looked worried, a frown making grooves on his forehead. “You can’t just pretend your feelings aren’t there and you can’t make me believe that you aren’t hurt by seeing him with women.”

Harry cleared his throat while he was trying to think of what to say. He couldn’t out Louis. Louis didn’t know Niall that well, he had only met him one time before, and not even Louis family knew about him being gay. Telling Niall about Louis’ sexuality was not an option. And since he couldn’t tell Niall Louis was gay he couldn’t tell Niall the real reason why it was ok seeing Louis every day. Louis was attracted to Harry, and that was all Harry needed for now. But he could not tell Niall about that.

“I just try to be professional and put my feelings aside. That works fine for me.”

Niall did not look convinced but he stopped pushing the subject.

 

* * *

 

Niall was impressed that Harry could just walk right past security when they got to the venue Louis was performing at later that night. He looked around with big eyes, taking it all in.

“Here’s Louis’ dressing room,” Harry opened the door.

Louis was standing in the middle of the room, only wearing pants. Harry wanted to sink into the ground, now was not the time for Louis to be almost naked. Harry knew Niall would be watching his reaction so he tried to keep a straight face.

“Hi, Louis. Are we interrupting?” Harry’s voice was becoming high pitched again.

“No, not at all. Can you hand me those clothes, H?” Louis didn’t look shy or bothered by the fact that he was half naked in front of a guy he barely knew.

Harry handed Louis his clothes. Niall was staring intently at Harry as Louis put on his clothes, trying to read Harry’s expression. After Louis got dressed he reached out a hand and greeted Niall.

Liam walked into the room just as they had finished greeting each other.

“Harry, have you told Niall about our plan for the night?”

“No.”

“After Lou does his little thing on stage,” Liam said and Louis interrupted him, “Little? Don’t try and make it sound like my job isn’t hard work.”

“Fine, after Louis works hard on stage screaming his lungs out, jumping around and humping mic stands, making the girls swoon, we are going to a club not far from here, they are having a big party tonight and we thought we could have a proper lads night out.” Liam said, smirking at Louis first, then looking at Harry and Niall with a smile.

Niall looked excited.

Harry, Niall and Liam went to get some food and beer. Louis stayed in his dressing room he needed to warm up before the show. Niall and Liam had a long discussion while Harry walked around in the big room sipping on a beer.

Suddenly people started walking into the room. Harry was a bit confused, many of the girls was wearing t-shirts with Louis’ face on. Fans was not supposed to be back here.

“Shit!” Liam exclaimed, “I totally forgot about the meet-and-greet.”

Harry gave Liam a confused look, there was nothing about a meet-and-greet in Louis’ schedule.

“Louis agreed to let a radio station we were at today let some of the listeners win a meet-and-greet.” Liam said when he saw Harry’s confused face. “LOU!” Liam yelled down the hall. “Get your ass in here.”

Some of the girls were laughing.

Louis came running down the hall and into the room. Louis was always so good with his fans, Harry just stood and watched Louis talking with them and hugging them.

 

They watched the concert from the floor. They could have been sitting in a VIP box but Harry and Liam liked standing close to the stage and taking in the atmosphere in the venue. Liam did his usual thing, goofing around and singing along to every song. During one of Louis upbeat songs, Louis started grinding on the mic stand. Oh no, not again, Harry thought to himself. He got a feeling of déjà vu to the night Louis called him out for looking at him, and he had watched Louis do the same thing during the same song and had to run back to his hotel room to jerk off while fucking himself with his fingers.

He had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom to cool off. Harry was just finished splashing water in his face when Niall walked in.

“Bullshit.” Niall frowned.

Harry gave him a confused look, “what?”

“You are so full of crap. Trying to tell me it’s not hard for you working for Louis.” Niall stared right into Harry’s eyes. “You have been staring at him all night, and running to the bathroom when the guy is basically having intercourse with a mic stand and singing about sex.”

Harry looked down at his shoes trying to think of something to say.

“Harry, it’s written all over your face that you are in love with the guy. You are trying to convince yourself that it’s fine and that you can handle seeing him every day.” Niall continued. “You have got to admit that it hurts seeing him, and the love bite he has on his neck, you have got to admit that it hurts you seeing that.”

Well, the love bite didn’t hurt Harry. He was the one who had made that on Louis right before Liam walked in on them.

“Harry, please look at me,” Niall pleaded.

Harry looked up, “Niall, it’s fine. I may have tried to make things sound a bit better than they are, but I’m trying. Please don’t hate Louis just because I’m in love with him.”

Niall gave Harry a hug. “I don’t hate Louis. I’m just worried about you.”

 

* * *

 

 

 Niall’s eyes were big again when they were escorted to the VIP area and were served a bottle of free champagne, when they got to the club after the concert. Louis sat down next to Niall on sofa, and Harry and Liam sat down in a sofa opposite them. The conversation was flowing, Niall and Louis had a lot of things in common and soon they were in a heated discussion about sports.

It didn’t take long for the first girl to approach Louis. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re Louis Tomlinson, right?”

“Yes, that’s me.” Louis looked right into Harry’s eyes.

“How about you and me get out of here?” she purred.

“Sorry, darling. Not tonight.”  Louis looked annoyed, but his voice was as sweet and pleasant as ever.

“Oh, come on. I know you want to.”

Louis let out a nervous laughter. Niall was staring at Harry, probably trying to see how Harry would react. Liam’s eyes were flickering between Harry and Niall. Louis and Harry was staring right into each other eyes.

“I’m sure it would be lovely, sweetheart. But I’m out with the lads tonight.”

The girl took her arms away for Louis neck. “Let me know if you change your mind.” She planted a kiss on his cheek before she walked away.

“Yeah, Tommo. Probably best to give it a rest for one night.” Liam laughed, a bit too high and long.

Louis glared at him. Liam shrugged and looked at Niall.

Niall was still staring at Harry, making Harry feel a bit uncomfortable.

“Anyone want a drink?” Harry needed an excuse to leave the table.

“I can get it,” Louis said.

“No, no.. I’ll get it.” Harry really needed to get away from Niall’s stare.

Louis got up his wallet and gave it to Harry. “Have them start a tab.”

Harry almost ran from the table to the bar, thankfully Niall couldn’t see him from here.

When he got back to the table, the guys seemed to have forgotten the awkwardness earlier.

After a few rounds, Harry was feeling tipsy. He really wanted to jump over the table and straddle Louis. He looked so hot tonight, and Harry was not the only one who noticed that.

They heard a high squeal over the loud music that was playing in the club. They all looked over and there where two girls in their early twenties, one of them pointing at Louis.

“Not again,” Louis sighed as the girls walked over to the table.

“Hi, Louis.”

“Hey, girls.” He said sweetly.

“Can we join you?”

“Not t- “Louis stared but before he could finish his sentence the girls had sat down on the sofa between him and Niall.

Louis sat there trying to look like he was interested in what the girls had to say. Liam being the good friend that he is got one of the girls to come sit between him and Harry instead so Louis only had to focus on one girl.

After a while of awkward conversation and looks, Louis picked up his phone and typed something before he looked at Harry. Harry could feel his phone vibrate. It was a text from Louis: ‘Come to the toilet. NOW!’. When Harry looked up Louis had already left. Harry excused himself saying he needed another drink.

When he got into the toilet, Louis was leaning up against the wall. As soon as Harry walked in Louis pulled him into the nearest stall and locked the door. He kissed Harry roughly before he got down on his knees and started to pull down Harry’s trousers and pants.

“Louis, what are you doing?” Harry breathed, face flushed from the surprise of being attacked by Louis’ lips.

“What does it look like?” Louis said while freeing Harry’s cock from his pants.

Louis put one hand at the base and started swirling his tongue around Harry’s cockhead.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. What if someone catches us?” Harry really didn’t want Louis to stop, but it would be bad if someone saw Louis sucking a guy’s cock in the toilet at a club. “Louis, I don’t think we should be doing this.”

Louis looked up at Harry taking Harry’s cock out of his mouth. “Would you rather prefer sucking my dick? Or do you want me to continue?” Harry just stared down at Louis with glossy eyes.

Louis continued working his tongue over Harry’s cock. Soon he took all of Harry’s length and let Harry fuck his throat. Harry just looked down at Louis in amazement. Harry was panting, “Oooh, I-I’m close.”

Louis continued and let Harry come in his mouth.

When Harry went back to the table he had forgotten that he went to the bar to get a drink.

Thankfully, the girls were gone.

Liam looked at him suspiciously, “that took a while.”

“Yeah, many people at the bar. Hard to get service.” Harry quickly said as an excuse.

Louis walked up to the table with a smirk on his face. Liam looked at Louis and then Harry with narrow eyes putting two and two together, and he shook his head.

Niall was too drunk to notice that Harry and Louis had been gone a while. Liam had ordered shots while they were gone, and Niall had apparently had most of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry felt so happy when he woke up next to Louis the next morning. Louis had given him the most amazing blowjob at the club and he had left with them and not on some pap walk out of the club with a random girl. When they left the club and got in a car, Niall fell asleep and Louis was whispering in Harry’s ear that he had unfinished business with Harry’s ass and biting his neck. Liam was talking with the driver, and sometimes Harry could see him roll his eyes at Louis’ behaviour.

Louis had taken care of the unfinished business he had when they got to the hotel room. He fucked Harry so hard that Harry thought he might have got a concussion from his head banging into the headboard when Louis had thrust into him. His muscles and arse was sore, and he loved it.

He rested his head on Louis’ chest and Louis stroked his hair. They had been awake for a while, just kissing and cuddling under the duvet. Louis’ cock was hard and Harry was contemplating giving Louis a blowjob. He kissed Louis as he started stroking his cock under the duvet.

Then he heard a noise.

“Not again!”

Louis sat up and looked over at the door where the voice that sounded like Liam was coming from. Harry was blushing, he was too embarrassed to look over at Liam. Why did he keep walking in when they were in a compromising position? This was getting ridiculous.

“Still haven’t learned how to knock?” Louis sounded annoyed.

“You told me to come and wake you up so we could all go out for breakfast. I went by Harry and Niall’s room on the way. We couldn’t find Harry so we came here to wake you, and to see if you knew were Harry was. Umm..” Liam explained.

“Still should have knocked, Liam.”

Harry looked up. Niall was standing next to Liam with a shocked expression.

“I’ll try to remember that next time. This cannot keep happening.”

“This has happened before?” Niall asked, his voice high pitched, still in a state of shock.

Louis looked at Harry and then at Niall, “yes,” he answered.

“And here I thought you were pining for a guy, and I was trying to help you and comfort you.” Niall looked hurt.

“Well, to be honest,” Louis shrugged, “he did walk around and pine for a while.”

Harry didn’t know what to say.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since the end of October, when we were in San Diego,” Louis answered.

Niall continued to stare at Harry.

“So, breakfast? Just need to put some clothes on first, if you could just leave the room.” Louis said after a long awkward silence.

“Really, Lou? By the looks on Harry and Niall’s faces it seems like they need to have a talk.” Now Liam gave Louis an annoyed look.

Niall and Harry continued to have an awkward stare down.

After a while Louis was getting impatient. “Fine, if you’re not leaving.” He removed the duvet from his body and got out of bed. Louis was naked, his cock half hard and slightly curving up to his stomach.

“For fucks sake, Louis. We don’t need to see that.” Liam turned red.

“Well, you wouldn’t leave and I have nothing to be ashamed of,” Louis shrugged as he got some pants out of his bag and put them on.

Louis was right. He had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. He looked good naked. Harry couldn’t take his eyes away.

“Harry, why didn’t you tell me?”

He looked back at Niall before he looked down, “I didn’t want to out Louis.”

“I get that. But I’m your best mate.” Niall looked down at his feet, he almost looked like he was going to cry.

“Niall, Harry was only trying to protect me. He knows that people knowing I like men can ruin my career. I’m not saying that I think you are going to tell anyone. It’s just that this started happening recently,” Louis gestured to Harry on the bed, “Harry would have told you eventually.”

“I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone. You’re a nice guy Louis, I wouldn’t want to ruin your life.”

“Thanks Niall, I really appreciate it.” Louis smiled at Niall.

Harry looked up at Niall again, “I’m really sorry, I wanted to tell you but..”

“It’s fine, Haz. I’m happy that the guy you are in love with..” Niall’s eyes widened when he saw Harry’s facial expression.

“In love with?” Louis said, his expression and body language gave nothing away about what he was thinking.

“Eehmm..”


	6. I just wanna be with you

 

A horrible pressing silence filled the room when Harry couldn’t get his brain to form a coherent sentence as a response. He felt like a fish, just opening and closing his mouth, and nothing came out, except for small gasps of air. He had to look so damn stupid. He felt stupid. He had fallen in love so quickly. Louis was all he wanted and now, now he was sure that this was it. It was over. He, or more like Niall, had scared Louis away by making Harry’s feelings known.

Louis just stared at him for what felt like hours. Harry closed his eyes when Louis turned away to find some clothes to wear. Harry didn’t want to be there right now. If Louis broke everything off right now Harry was sure he would cry, or have a nervous breakdown. Or maybe punch Niall for not being able to keep his mouth shut.

There was a scuffle at the other side of the room, then someone cleared their throat.

“Let’s get some breakfast. Don’t want to catch the plane to Vegas on an empty stomach,” Liam said.

Harry looked up at Liam. He was holding on to Louis’ arm in a tight grip, Louis was glaring at Liam as he tried to pull away, but Liam held him in place.

“You’d like to take Harry out for breakfast, right?” The look Liam was giving Louis now could only be described as a look a parent gave a child after they had done something bad.

Louis slowly nodded. Liam gently pushed Louis back towards the bed before he and Niall left the room so Harry could get dressed.

“Louis, I..” Harry said after minutes of more pressing silence, Louis had just been staring at his feet while Harry was getting dressed, he looked up letting his eyes run over Harry’s face before he looked down again. “Just.. Let’s just get breakfast.”

Harry nodded at that, knowing that starting a conversation about his feelings wouldn’t happen now.

 

* * *

 

 

If it wasn’t enough that Louis was acting distant during breakfast things were a bit awkward between Niall and Harry too. When they settled into their Vegas hotel room Harry couldn’t take the awkwardness anymore.

“Uhm..”

Niall hugged Harry and whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry for slipping up.” He paused, pulling Harry closer, “and I’m just a bit shocked.”

After apologising for keeping things from his best friend, and reassuring him that he wasn’t mad that Niall had slipped up, Harry told Niall about everything that had happened. He assured Niall that he understood why Louis had to act like a flirt in public, Niall didn’t look like he believed that Harry was fine with watching the guy he was in love with flirt with girls and that he thought it was ok that Louis was trying to flee the room after he learnt that Harry was in love with him, but he just nodded while Harry talked. It was fine that Niall didn’t believe him, Harry was really saying it more to convince himself that it was fine. He also talked about Louis, and everything he liked about him and how Louis made him feel when they were together. It felt so good finally having an honest conversation about his feelings.

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

“See, that’s how you knock on a door,” Louis said to Liam as they came into the room. Liam rolled his eyes.

“I have to go out tonight,” Louis announced as he and Liam sat down.

Harry gulped, a breathless whine escaped his lips. He didn’t want that, he couldn’t watch Louis around girls, especially when things were so awkward between them.

Liam on the other hand looked excited. “Since we are all a bit tired after last night, I have come up with a plan so we can get out of the club as quick as possible and we can go to sleep early and feel relaxed and refreshed for tomorrow.”

“What is happening tomorrow?” Niall asked.

“Tomorrow we are lounging by the pool, day drinking, getting massages and checking out pretty girls in their bikinis.” Liam put his arm over Niall shoulder. “Well, not this guy,” Liam gestured towards Louis, “he’s got some interviews and appearances to meet fans, and a concert at night. Plus, he’s gay, so checking out girls in bikinis is not really his thing.”

Louis rolled his eyes at him, “what’s your plan?”

“We get to the club, order a lot of shots, the girls will come and fight for your attention, you walk into the toilet with one or maybe two of them, we snap some photos of you with your arms around the girls and you walking into the toilet with them. After that you leave with me. You have to act like you’re drunk when we walk to the car. You get the pictures to your management, and everyone get to see what you did at the club. We'll be in and out in under an hour.” Liam looked excited when he was telling them his plan.

“Absolutely not. I am not pretending to fuck someone in the toilet at a club. That’s disgusting,” Louis' face contorted into a frown.

“Really? You did it for real last night.” Liam smirked.

“That was different.”

Niall looked confused. “What happened last night?”

“These two left the table and were gone for a long time. Harry pretended to go get a drink, he came back without one, saying it was hard getting service when I had just been there getting us shots. Louis came back with a huge smile on his face. So I used my deductive reasoning skills,” Liam put a finger to his temple, “they fucked in the toilet last night.”

“Eeeeww! That’s just gross.” Niall made gagging sounds, and gave Harry a small smile.

“Come on Lou, it’s the quickest way to get the job done.”

“I would rather be papped going into a sex shop to buy a blow up doll,” Louis said flatly.

Liam's face lit up at that, “That's actually a really good idea.”

Louis shook his head before he sighed, “I might as well go all out, and maybe I can get a few days off from these ridiculous stunts. Just got to call management and hear what they have to say.”

Louis walked out of the room.

Niall looked at Harry. “Harry, you know you don’t have to be there and watch.”

“It’s got to be hard seeing him do stuff like that when you are in love with him.” Liam said and leaned over to put a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Just so you know, he's probably in love with you too.”

Harry smiled, he hoped what Liam were saying was true.

Louis walked into the room again. “Liam, you should get a job with my management.”

Liam grinned. “They liked my ideas?”

“Yes, and if I do it I don’t have to do stunts for a while.”

“That’s awesome! So let’s get going, dinner and then hit the club?”

“No. Sex shop, strip club, dinner and then club, and pretend to have a threesome in the bathroom.” Louis answered, looking all serious.

If Louis hadn’t had the serious look Harry would have laughed. It was way over the top. Louis normally just flirted with girls and got his picture taken with them when they left the club. Harry thought this was even worse than when he smashed up his hotel room, making it look like it was after a wild night out.

Why the hell would his management let him do that? It was too much, and it was so transparent that it was fake. Liam had said that he was the only one that knew Louis was gay. If his management only suspected, but didn’t really know, what was the meaning of having Louis do these ridiculous stunts, was it just to keep up the image and boost his celebrity status?

Harry was clearly not the only one lost for words, Niall's eyes looked like they were going to pop out as he looked at Louis.

“Really?” Harry said with a weak voice.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry and Niall stayed in the car while Liam and Louis went in to a sex shop. Someone had called for paparazzi and they were waiting for Louis to emerge from the store. When he came out with a few big bags they snapped pictures like crazy.

“Here Niall, got you a blow up doll so you don’t feel so alone when the girl you have been seeing don’t call you back.” Liam smirked and leaned back from the front seat to hand Niall a box.

“Aaaw. Thanks, mate. I’ll let you borrow her when none of the girls at the club want to come home with you.”

They both chuckled.

Harry and Louis were sitting next to each other in the backseat. Louis handed Harry one of the bags.

Harry looked through the content. He blushed when he saw butt plugs in different sizes, a vibrator and a few dildos. There was also lube and some penis shaped candy.

Louis grinned at Harry. “Don’t have to be all bad having to go to a sex shop to get papped,” he whispered in Harry’s ear.

Harry picked up a pack of penis shaped candy.

“Ooo, candy.” Niall grabbed the candy from Harry’s hand.

When they got to the strip club Harry stayed in the car with the driver. He had no desire to watch half-naked women grind on Louis. Harry had barely seen a naked woman before. He had come close to having sex with one when he was a teenager and confused about his sexuality. The girl had taken her top off and placed Harry’s hands on her breasts. Harry had ended up running out of the room when she tried to take of his pants. After that he accepted the fact that he only liked guys.

When the boys came back out Niall’s face was a deep red colour and Liam walked a bit funny.

“How was it?” Harry asked when they got in the car.

“Pretty standard. I think Niall and Liam will be sharing that doll when they get back to the hotel.” Louis said, trying to contain a laugh as he looked at Liam and Niall.

“Shut up, Louis.” Liam chuckled. Niall looked a bit flustered.

“Next time maybe not pick the hottest girl in there to give Niall a lap dance.” Liam said while he looked at Niall’s red face.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh too when he was watching Niall struggle to come up with a response.

 

* * *

 

Harry felt well rested when he woke up the next morning with Louis cuddled up next to him. Harry got out of bed and started making Louis coffee. He looked so peaceful where he was laying there, clutching a pillow.

They got back from the club early. Liam’s plan had worked perfectly. There was pictures of Louis all over Twitter and Tumblr. For the first time Harry was actually happy to see pictures of Louis doing one of his stunts because it meant Louis would get some time off from them. The awkwardness between them disappeared yesterday afternoon, and Harry had decided to not bring it up again and keep his feelings to himself for now. He didn't want Louis to run out on him when things got too serious.

When he woke Louis up and handed him his coffee Louis flashed him a bright smile and pulled him in for a kiss.

Louis did his interviews and appearances that day while Harry watched with a smile on his face. Louis seemed happier and more relaxed.

When they finally got back to the hotel Harry grabbed Louis and pinned him to the wall, attacking him with his lips. He had been wanting to do that all day. 

“Someone's in a good mood.”

“Yes, watching you look so happy all day made me happy.”

Louis grabbed Harry’s ass. “How about I make you even happier?”

Harry whined, he really wanted to, but he couldn’t ignore doing his job and getting Louis to where he needed to be, “I don’t think we have time for that, you're concert is in an hour.”

Louis leaned in and gently bit Harry’s earlobe before he licked the shell of his ear, letting his hot breath linger on Harry’s skin. “That’s too bad, I’ve been wanting to eat you out all day.”

Harry blushed, just the thought of Louis eating him out made Harry’s cock feel hard against his thigh.

 

* * *

 

It was the night of Louis last concert in San Francisco, it was the last concert of the tour they had been on. They had been in San Francisco for a week. Niall left yesterday, it had been really good having him there and Harry felt like a weight had been lifted of his shoulders after telling Niall everything.

Louis laid low after the stunt in Las Vegas, they had stayed in every night watching movies, playing video games, eating take out and just goofing around with Liam and Niall. Harry liked Louis when it was like that, Louis seemed softer and happier when he could just relax and don’t have to worry about having to do stunts like go out on dates or flirt with girls.

They were making out in the toilet before Louis had to be on stage. Not the most glamorous place, but it was the only place they were sure no one could see them.

Louis kissed down Harry’s neck forcing breathy moans out of Harry’s mouth.

“You know it’s my last show before we go home,” he said against Harry's neck.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t have any engagements until after new years.”

“I know.”

Harry kept his answers short, he wasn't really interested in talking. He was more interested in kissing Louis and groping his amazing ass.

“Of course you know,” Louis pulled his face back from Harry and laughed.

“When we get back I’m going to Doncaster to see my family.” He paused suddenly looking a bit nervous. “I was thinking that you could come with me and stay for like a week.”

“I would like that very much.” Harry leaned into Louis’ neck, placing small kisses down it.

“You will be there as my personal assistant of course, I’m doing some writing and recording with an old buddy, so there will be some work. I might need you.”

“Of course,“ Harry whispered against his collarbone as he was kissing down it.

Harry got a warm feeling spreading through his body, Louis wanted Harry to come with him when he went to see his family. They had not defined anything yet but Harry really wanted to be Louis’ boyfriend. The two times they had come close to talking about feelings or commitment Louis had shut down. The first time was when Niall let it slip that Harry was in love with Louis, and the second was when they had sex a few days ago. Harry had been so lost in all the feelings and sensations that his brain had completely shut off. He had accidentally said that he never wanted to let Louis go, and that he wanted to be with him like that forever. A heat of the moment thing that didn’t necessarily have to mean something, Harry thought, Louis on the other hand had lost the vigour in his thrusts and pulled out. Without saying a word he went into the bathroom to have a shower, leaving Harry confused and upset, and still with a hard-on that he had to take care of himself.

It hurt Harry when Louis was so cold and distant when they started to have something that resembled a serious conversation, or Harry’s feelings came up. But he had decided not to push Louis when it came to feelings for each other and defining what they are, he didn't want to scare him away.

Louis pulled Harry’s head up, capturing his lips and started kissing Harry more intently as he moved his hand to Harry’s crotch.

“Lou, you have to be on stage soon. We don’t have time for..” Harry protested. He knew that if Louis started touching his cock he wouldn’t be able to stop, and they would make a lot of fans upset that Louis was late for his show since he was busy fucking in the bathroom.

“I know. I’m just so fucking horny.” Louis pulled away and looked at Harry with a huge grin.

“What?”

“Just give me a minute.” Louis walked out of the bathroom and into his dressing room. He came back with a bag in his hand and handed the bag to Harry. It was the bag from the sex shop.

“Which one do you think?”

Harry’s eyes were getting wider in confusion, “what?”

Louis sighed, “I need something to take the edge off while I'm on stage.”

“You are not walking around with a butt plug up your arse while you are on stage.” Harry shook his head. He picked one out of the bag, it was pink and looked to be about four or five inches. He bit hard down on his lip as he looked at it.

Louis grabbed the plug from Harry’s hand. “Looks like you kinda want it up your ass,” Louis’ lips formed in a smirk.

Harry sucked his bottom lip into his mouth while he looked down at the floor, a tad embarrassed, “maybe…”

Louis pushed his body against Harry and whispered in his ear, “turn around.”

Harry did as he was told. Louis pulled down Harry’s trousers, got down on his knees behind him and spread his cheeks. Harry felt Louis’ breathing on his crack. Louis’ tongue started kitten licking his rim making him squirm and whimper at the pleasure. 

There was a knock on the door. “Louis? You’re on in ten minutes.”

Louis detached his tongue from Harry’s hole “I’ll be right there.”

Louis splashed lube on his fingers and the plug. “Looks like we have to speed things up a bit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Harry felt a bit self-conscious when he was watching the concert with a plug in his ass. He was a scared that someone would notice and also extremely turned on. Louis looked at him a few times during the concert, and every time he did he made some sort of sexual move afterwards. Louis was a master at turning Harry on and Harry could not wait to get back to the hotel room.

When the concert was over Harry walked backstage, there was a lot more people than usual, he had completely forgot it was the last show and people wanted to celebrate. Harry had been walking around with a plug in his hole and his cock had been hard during the entire concert, he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to hold it.

When Louis came in people started clapping and Louis proceeded to walk around the room talking with them and sipping on a beer.

Harry leaned up against a wall in a corner, he was too distracted to engage in any kind of conversation and sitting down was not an option so he just hid in the corner and tried not to look at Louis. Louis was talking to a woman for ages, and Harry couldn’t’ take it anymore.

Harry quickly walked over to Louis, leaning close to him whispering with a shaky voice, “Louis, can I borrow you for a minute?”

Louis smirked at him. “Of course, H.”

They walked towards Louis’ dressing room, and as soon as the door was closed Harry was all over Louis, pulling his shirt, and grinding his crotch against him.

Louis gently pushed Harry away, “Woow! Relax, Haz. Someone could come in and see us.”

Harry whined at the loss of contact, “I don’t care. I need you. Now.”

Louis smirked, “Go back to the room, take off your clothes and wait for me in bed. I’ll be right there. Just need to finish up some things here first.”

 

 

The bed felt so good and comfy when Harry laid down. His cock was rock hard and leaking pre-cum onto his stomach. He felt like he was going to explode, Louis had to get there soon. After a while he started to slowly stroking himself just to take the edge of a bit.

Harry heard the door open and stopped stroking himself. When he looked up Louis was walking towards him.

“Damn, that’s hot. Please continue.”

Harry narrowed his eyes, “this was your plan all along wasn’t it? Getting me to have the plug in my arse the whole night, having me naked and waiting for you when you came back.”

Louis chuckled with a mischievous grin on his face, “Yes, I didn’t want to have a plug in my arse tonight. I knew you would say no to me walking on stage like that, and that you would be tempted to use one when I handed you the bag. It was a real rush thinking about you walking around with a plug, making you horny and ready for me.”

“You’re bad.” Harry started stroking himself again.

Louis chuckled again, “I know.”

Louis took off his clothes while he watched Harry. He got on the bed, and started kissing Harry. He moved his way from Harry’s mouth down to his neck, he kissed and bit his way down Harry's body. Harry moaned when Louis started to lick his nipples. Louis kissed his way down to Harry’s cock, he kissed his cockhead and started to suck on it. Louis was amazing at giving blowjobs, he had all of Harry’s cock in his mouth in no time. He let his tongue twirl around it and let it fuck his throat.

Harry moaned loudly, "I'm gonna come." It hadn’t taken much to get him close. Louis raised an eyebrow while he took Harry’s cock out of his mouth, “Already?”

“Yeah.”

“Turn around.”

Harry laid on his stomach and put a pillow under his hips.

“Tell me when you’re close to coming again.”

“I will.”

Harry yelped when Louis smacked his ass. It always caught him by surprise when Louis did that. Louis caressed the sensitive skin and smacked it again. Harry started moaning again when he felt the way the plug shifted inside of him every time Louis spanked him. Louis continued to spank him until he between moans managed to say that he was about to come.

Louis stroked and kissed Harry’s now red and sensitive ass. Louis groaned, “you are amazing. I so want to play with you one day.”

Harry looked over his shoulder, giving Louis a confused look, “play?”

Louis’ breath was getting heavier, “Take it a bit further than spanking you with my hand. There is other stuff we can do.”

“What other stuff?”

“I’ll tell you and show you what I mean later, talking about it now will only make me wanna tie you up and spank you with my belt.” A small groan escaped Louis as he was thinking about it.

Harry gulped. Tie him up and spank him with a belt? Harry wasn’t so sure he liked the sound of that. He didn’t have much time to think about it because Louis pulled the plug out, and spread his cheeks and as he started licking his crack and rim Harry’s brain was turning into mush, not a single coherent thought left in there.

Louis let his tongue swipe over and flicker his rim before he started licking into his hole. Harry whimpered loudly when Louis licked into him deeper with his tongue. He felt like there was a current running through his body.

“I-I’m close.” Harry croaked out when Louis licked deeper than he had done before. Louis quickly removed his tongue and hands from Harry.

Harry began to understand what Louis was doing. He turned around to look at him with narrow eyes.

“How long are you planning on doing this to me? It feels like I’m going to explode.” Harry’s voice was deep and hoarse, sounding properly fucked out.

Louis grinned at him. “I’m going to do this until you are like jelly in my hands and then I’m going to make you come so hard that you'll really explode.”

Harry must have given Louis a pained expression since Louis’ grin turned into a smirk.

He laid down on the bed. “Come here, babe.”

Harry straddled him. Louis took his cock and started to push it into Harry’s hole. Harry let out a broken high pitched moan when he felt that all of Louis’ length was inside him. Harry didn’t waste any time, he desperately needed to come, he lifted his body up and slammed it down again hard, quickly picking up a fast and hard pace.

It was so good feeling Louis inside him rubbing him just where he needed it the most. Harry closed his eyes as he felt the orgasm start to build up again, his body was tingling and he was panting like crazy. Suddenly Louis grabbed his hips and stopped him from moving.

Louis shot him a stern look, “I thought you were going to tell me when you were close to coming.”

“I was not that close,” Harry protested.

Louis pulled out of him. “You make a face when you're close, and I could feel you clenching around me like you do when you’re about to come.”

Louis’ phone started ringing and he answered. “Yeah, we’ll be right there.”

After he hung up he took the plug and pushed it back into Harry’s hole and started to put on his clothes.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked a bit confused.

“We are going out to a late dinner with Liam and some of the guys from the crew,” Louis explained, his voice and demeanour seeming like he thought there was nothing wrong with going out to dinner when Harry was rock hard and in need of release.

Harry looked at Louis with big concerned eyes. “We are?” 

Louis must have noticed the concern in Harry’s eyes since he said, “you don’t have to have the plug in if you don’t want to. I can just fuck you real quick and make you come before we go out,” he tilted his head to the side and there was a twinkle in his eyes, “but something tells me that you want to wait.”

He was right. Harry was extremely turned on by this, and a part of him didn’t want it to end. Louis continued pushing him towards the edge and Harry enjoyed it.

Louis smirked when Harry started to put on his clothes.

When they were on the lift down to the lobby Harry felt self-conscious again. They met Liam and five guys from the crew in the lobby and went to the restaurant at the hotel. Harry was happy about that, it meant that it wasn't going to take a long time to get up to the room again.

“Harry, are you ok?” Liam asked after they ordered.

“He’s fine. Just feeling a bit on edge today, aren’t you, H?”

Louis smirked and Harry nodded. Liam eyed them suspiciously.

Halfway through dinner Harry couldn’t take it anymore. His cock was so hard, it felt like it was suffocating in his tight trousers. He excused himself and went to the toilet. When he was bending over the sink washing his face trying to calm down he heard someone walk into the room. He felt Louis’ hands on his hips and as Louis started to pull down his trousers Harry pushed him away, “Shit, Louis. Someone can walk in and see us.”

Louis pulled him into a stall. He pressed his body close to Harry, saying in a low seductive tone, “what do you want, Harry?”

“I want you to make me come.” Harry’s breathing was getting uneven, Louis was so damn close and Harry was so fucking horny.

Louis’ finger trailed down Harry’s chest, making Harry’s breath hitch the closer he got to his crotch.

“How do you want me to make that happen?”

“Fuck me, please just fuck me,” Harry whined.

“I’ll fuck you alright.” Louis pulled down his trousers and pants, and Harry did the same. Louis removed the plug, and started grinding into Harry. Harry moaned loudly, it sounded almost like breathy screams, every time Louis thrust into him.

Harry froze when he heard the door to the toilet open, Louis put his hand over Harry’s mouth and continued to fuck him, keeping a slow and relentless pace. Harry had a hard time keeping quiet as Louis thrust into his very sensitive hole.

“I think something is going on with Harry. He has been acting weird lately.”

Shit, it was some guys from the crew. Harry started to blush, he tried to pull away from Louis but Louis held him in place and continued fucking him.

“Yeah, he has been acting strange. Especially around Louis.”

“I think Harry likes him.”

They laughed.

“That’s never going to happen. Louis is the biggest ladies’ man I’ve ever met.”

“I kinda feel bad for Harry though. Gotta be hard working for someone you have crush on.”

“I wonder if Louis knows.”

“Of course he does. Have you seen the way Harry looks at him? Louis would have to be blind not to notice.”

They laughed again, washed their hands and walked out of the toilet.

Louis removed his hand from Harry’s mouth. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, pushing Harry hard into the wall.

“Your body is telling me that you are close again. Are you going to come soon?” Louis was panting hard behind him.

“Yeeah.” Harry whimpered, feeling his body soon reaching that special overwhelmingly pleasurable place where he would finally get his release and bask in the afterglow.

Harry let out a small cry as Louis pulled out of him and pushed the plug back in.

 

“How come this isn’t affecting you like it is me? You haven’t come either.” Harry was watching as Louis washed his hands baffled by the fact that Harry was the only one that seemed affected by not coming.

“I haven’t walked around with a plug in my arse most of the night and I haven't been stimulated as much as you, only used my cock to fuck you twice. Plus, I jerked off before going back to the hotel.” A huge smirk formed on Louis’ lip as Harry pouted at him. “You are really really bad.”

Louis pulled him in for a kiss. “I have been wanting to do this to you for a long time. Just think about how hard you are going to come,” he said against Harry’s lips.

Louis walked out of the toilet first, and after a minute, Harry followed. Some of the guys were at the bar and some were sitting at the table, no one seemed to question why Louis and Harry had been gone for a long time. Liam was the only one who looked at them when they came back, he had probably used his deductive reasoning skills again and figured out what they had been doing. He leaned over to Louis. “What the fuck have you done to Harry? He has been looking like a mess all night, all sweaty and breathing heavy.” Louis just smirked at him.

Liam huffed, giving his best friend an exasperated look, “If you continue to have sex in the toilet you will get caught someday.”

“Don’t worry Liam. I’m really careful,” Louis said with a mischievous grin lingering on his lips.

Liam just shook his head.

 

* * *

 

 

The dinner went on for way too long. Louis insisted on having a drink before going up to the room, and he drank it slowly, just dragging it out making Harry more needy and impatient.

When they finally got back to the room Harry took off his clothes so fast he almost ripped his shirt.

“Someone’s eager.” Louis smiled at him while he took off his own clothes. “Why don’t you give me a blowjob?”

Louis was almost soft again. Harry could not understand how that was possible.

Louis sat down on the side of the bed and Harry got on his knees. He stated sucking Louis’ cock, bobbing his head, slowly taking more of his length into his mouth. “You are so good.” He let a hand stroke through Harry’s hair. Harry continued sucking Louis and fucking Louis’ cock into his mouth until Louis came.

Louis laid back on the bed. Harry was still on his knees panting. He really needed to come.

Louis sat up again when Harry whined. “How would you like to come, H?”

“I don’t care, just let me come.” Harry said, his voice needy and hoarse.

“You must have something you prefer?”

“I like it when you fuck me so hard I have trouble walking in the morning.” Harry blushed as he said it.

“That I can do.”

Harry laid with his back on the bed with a pillow under his hips so Louis could get a good angle at his spot. Louis applied some more lube before he filled Harry up again. He invaded Harry’s mouth with his tongue, and pinched his sensitive nipples, making Harry gasp for air between the whimpers he made into Louis’ mouth.  

Louis fucked him harder than he had done all night, the force of his thrust made Harry’s body move further up the bed. The orgasm started to build up in Harry’s body, he clenched around Louis’ cock, making Louis groan at the sensation.

There was a tingly feeling in his cock, his body was warm and it almost felt like fireworks was going off in his chest. He came harder than he had ever come before, cum was shooting from his cock all over his stomach and his head started spinning. He had never felt so satisfied in his entire life, his body lax, just riding on the high of the aftershocks of his orgasm. Louis continued to fuck him until he moaned loudly and came inside of Harry.

Louis laid down next to Harry and pulled him in into his arms.

“That was the best. I have never had such an intense orgasm before.” Harry managed to get out after a while of just laying there basking in the afterglow of his orgasm.

Louis smiled at him and started to stroke his hair.

“I guess you are not so bad after all.” Harry said making Louis chuckle and pull him closer.

 

* * *

 

Harry felt so content cuddled up to Louis in the bed. Louis was stroking his hair, and Harry let out soft purrs with every stroke. He wished he could eternalise this moment forever.

“I wish we could have some photos of us together.”

“We have photos of you and me, H.”

“Yeah, but that's photos of us hanging out with Niall and Liam doing silly things. I mean photos of us like this.”

Louis raised an eyebrow, “pictures of us naked?”

“No, not naked pictures. Just pictures of us being the way we are behind closed doors. Like a coup..” Harry stopped and gulped. Shit, he could not say couple, they had not said they were a couple and Harry was sure Louis would run out of there if he pushed too hard.

Louis got out of bed, put on his pants and fetched his camera from his bag.

“Let’s take some pictures then.”

Louis started taking photos and when Harry looked at them later he noticed Louis had made sure to hide Harry’s face in all of them. There was one of them kissing, were you could only see their chins and lips. A few with Louis laying on top of Harry’s back, biting and kissing it. And one were Harry was sitting up with Louis laying behind him, legs wrapped around Harry’s waist, taking the picture from an angle so you could see Louis’ face and body and only a part of Harry’s back. The picture Harry liked best was one that was taken up close of Louis' face. Harry's face was buried in Louis' neck, his ruffled curls hiding his face, and he was barely in the frame, but Louis had a relaxed grin and he looked so contempt, and that was why Harry liked it so much.

“You can’t even tell that it’s me in these photos.”

Louis chuckled, “I know. You kinda look like a girl in one of them.”

“I do not!” Harry laughed and threw a pillow at Louis.

“Now we have some photos of you and me. Well, mostly me.” Louis smiled and pulled Harry into his arms.


	7. Without this costume

Back in London Harry had a few hours to get home and repack his bag before he and Louis left for Doncaster. He didn’t see it coming when Louis asked him, and he was very excited that he did. Things weren’t exactly how he wanted it to be but he still held on to the thought that one day they would. He wanted to give Louis the time he needed to develop his feelings for Harry, and Harry was sure Louis felt something, in brief moments he could see it. And since Louis invited him home he felt like they were taking a big step forward in their relationship.

When he arrived home it was early in the morning so Niall hadn’t left for Uni yet. “Honey, I’m home!” he yelled when he walked into the flat.

“Harry!” Niall squealed and gave him a big hug.

“Only for a few hours though. I’m going with Louis to Doncaster.”

“Meeting the family, eh?” Niall wiggled his eyebrows.

“No, not like that. Louis is doing some work while he’s there. He thought he might need me, for work,” Harry explained, trying to look as serious and professional as he could, he didn’t want Niall to get his hopes up for him. Niall often did that, he got excited on Harry’s behalf and if things didn’t work out just as Harry wanted them to Niall often got as upset as Harry.

Niall didn’t buy it, “Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that,” Niall smirked, “you are going to meet your boyfriend’s family.”

“He is not my boyfriend.” Harry wanted to scream in agony as he said it. He so desperately wanted Louis to be his boyfriend and be able to shout it from the rooftops, not stand there and say that he wasn’t and try to keep a straight face as he did.

“But you want him to be.”

Harry looked down at his feet, “Umm.. Yeah. But we haven’t defined anything yet.”

“Come on, Harry. You have to stop being so scared. Remember, not so long ago you were hopelessly in love with him and thought you could never have him, and as it turned out he wants you to.”

Harry sighed, “I just don’t want to push too hard, things are good now. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Just don’t wait too long to have that conversation. I know how these things can wear on you. I don’t want another phone call where you're drunk and crying because of your feelings for Louis. I want you to be happy and smiling all the time.” Niall hugged him again.

After catching up Niall left for his morning classes and Harry started to pack his bag for Doncaster. He wasn’t sure what to bring. He wanted to look good when he met Louis’ family, but he didn’t want to freak them out by going over the top with his wardrobe choices. He spent way too much time thinking about it so when Louis rang saying he was outside Harry wasn’t even close to being ready. He ended up just throwing some clothes in a bag.

 

* * *

 

 

They arrived at Louis family’s house before lunch. Harry’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest when he stepped out of the car, he was so nervous about meeting Louis' family.

Louis’ mum seemed overjoyed to see her son again. “Louis, I’ve missed you,” her eyes lit up when he stepped out of the car.

“I have missed you too mum.” Louis gave her a big hug.

After hugging her son tightly she turned her attention to Harry, “and who is this?”

“This is Harry Styles, my personal assistant. Hope it’s ok that I brought him?” Louis said. He had a damn good poker face Harry thought, nothing about the tone in his voice or body language suggested that Harry was anything more than his assistant.

“Of course, darling. I’ll make up the bed in the guest room.”

She surprised Harry by giving him a hug, “pleasure to meet you Harry.”

“Pleasure to meet you too Mrs. Deakin.”

“Please, call me Jay.”

They had lunch in the kitchen and Jay started asking Louis about the tour and what else he was up to these days. It was nice seeing Louis this relaxed, but when the conversation shifted into Louis’ love life the relaxed atmosphere was gone.

“So, tell me. How are things? You know, with the girls. Have you found a girl that you want to spend some more time with?”

Louis looked down and tried to avoid eye contact. “Eh.. No, not found a girl.”

“You really should find a nice girl who makes you want to settle down.”

“Mum, I’m twenty-three. I have plenty of time to find someone.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, “you turn twenty-four in three weeks, darling.”

Harry was sure she had seen the articles and pictures of Louis and it looked like she was concerned about him.

She was about to say something when her phone started ringing after answering the call,  Jay left to pick up Louis’ younger sisters from school and Louis showed Harry the guestroom.

“Looks nice, comfy bed,” Harry said and laid down.

Louis closed the door and walked over to straddle him on the bed. Louis started kissing him and tugging on his shirt.

“Your mum will be back soon,” Harry said between kisses.

“Just want to kiss you until they get back,” Louis said before he captured Harry's lips again.

Harry really adored Louis’ family. They were so warm and welcoming. When Harry went to bed that night it was with a smile on his face. Louis was smiling and laughing when he was with his family, he looked so soft and comfortable. It had been a perfect day and the only thing that could've made it better was if Harry could fall asleep with Louis' arms wrapped around him.

 

* * *

 

Louis was leaning against the hood of the car and Harry was standing next to him, they were waiting outside Daisy and Phoebe’s school because Louis wanted to pick them up after school that day. Harry’s phone started ringing. It was Niall.

“Hi, how’s it going?”

“Harry, what the fuck!” Niall screamed into the phone, making Harry jump.

“What? Is something wrong?” Harry asked with an unsteady voice. Hearing Niall scream was something Harry hadn't experienced often, Niall was usually so easy going and mellow, and nothing really seemed to bother him.

“Yes, something’s wrong,” Niall sounded agitated.

“What?” Harry was confused.

“There are pictures of me when I’m drunk online from when I was in America to see you. Pictures of us, Liam and Louis, all private pictures from when you were on tour.” Niall was panting into the phone.

Harry’s eyes widened in shock, “are you sure?”

“They're everywhere. I’ve been approached by girls all day, asking if I know Louis Tomlinson.”

Harry’s breath hitched, “Shit!”

Harry grabbed Louis’ phone from his hand and logged onto Tumblr.

Fuck, Niall was right.

Louis looked confused until Harry gave him his phone back. Louis looked at it briefly before he put it in his pocket. He just stared as the school where kids had now started to walk out making their way home.

“Niall, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me! Someone needs to fix this.”

“I-I’ll see if there is something that can be done,” Harry told Niall, knowing that it was nothing that could be done, the pictures were already out there. He just needed to reassure his friend.

He hung up and looked at Louis, “the camera, someone must have stolen it.”

Louis didn’t say anything and they stood there in silence until the girls came running out of the school.

 

When they got to the house Harry went to his room and got on his laptop. He needed to see the pictures, he could barely remember when most of them was taken.

There were pictures of them at different clubs, Niall looked wasted in most of them. Liam and Louis playing football and play fighting in a pool. A picture of Liam and Niall with the blow up doll from Vegas with Harry laughing in the background and a lot of pictures of them from backstage. A few of them where Louis was shirtless.

Harry singled out the pictures of himself. They didn't look too bad, in most of them he were on his iPad and working. In the ones from the club he didn’t look too drunk and in most of the others he didn’t stand out too much. But there was one picture that caught his eye, it was from backstage at a concert. Harry and Louis were standing next to each other with their backs to the camera. Louis was shirtless and had an arm around Harry’s waist.

They looked like two good mates. Harry was just scared someone would read more into it.

“Is it bad?” Louis was standing in the doorway.

“See for yourself.” Harry handed him the laptop as Louis sat down next to him.

“This is not that bad,” Louis said after looking through all the photos, “I feel sorry for Niall and Liam though, they look like two drunken idiots. You managed to hide in the background or look like you’re working most of the time. And well, people have seen worse photos of me so.. It’s not that bad.”

It could have been worse Harry thought, before it hit him. The camera, this was from the same camera that Louis used to take the pictures of him and Harry in bed.

“Lou..” he said with a weak voice, “ehmm.. we only used one camera to take all of these pictures, and it was the same camera we used to take those pictures of us in bed.”

“I know,” Louis said.

Harry couldn’t understand why Louis was so calm. “How can you be so calm? You can be outed by those photos.”

Louis sighed, “people see what they want to see, since I have the reputation I have and it’s hard to make out if you’re a guy or a girl in those photos, people will most likely think it’s a girl.”

“But it’s still pictures of you in bed with someone. And why haven’t they been posted online yet, it doesn’t make any sense to just get the pictures of us partying and hanging out backstage out there.”

“Pictures of me in bed with someone is worth a lot more than the ones that are already posted, if they’re ever published it will be in a tabloid and not at some blogsite.”

That made sense. Of course the person that took the camera wanted a payday. Harry’s mind was racing thinking about all that could happen when the pictures were released. Louis hadn’t taken pictures of his face, or any parts of his body that had tattoos on it, he had also taken them from angles where it was hard to see that Harry’s body was clearly a guy’s so Harry knew it was impossible to identify him on those photos, but still, what if someone saw that he was a guy and that it was him.

Harry looked at Louis. Why wasn’t he freaking out as much as Harry was? It was Louis’ career that could be ruined if someone saw that Harry was a guy. And what Louis just said made Harry realise why he was so calm. ‘If they’re ever published.’ If!

Someone that stole a camera belonging to a celebrity wouldn’t just not sell photos of the celebrity in bed, there was no if, there was only a when, if someone had stolen the camera. Harry’s breath hitched at the realisation.

“You did this.”

Louis shifted on the bed, “No.”

Harry clenched his fists, he wasn’t really angry for himself. He was angry for Niall, who was freaking out so much that he had continued calling Harry non-stop and he was angry that Louis was clearly lying to his face.

Louis looked at Harry’s clenched fists and then his face, "Harry.."

Harry stood up. He couldn't look at Louis or be in the same room as him right now. Why the hell would he do such a thing? Of course Louis made sure to hide Harry's face and most of his body in the photos, he had been planning this.

Louis grabbed his hand and dragged him back towards the bed when he moved towards the door. Harry stumbled and fell backwards onto the bed. Louis pinned him down and hovered over him. “I didn’t do this. But I knew it was a possibility it might happen,” Louis said, looking right into Harry's eyes.

He didn't look like he was lying. But Harry couldn't be sure, Louis was way to good at hiding things.

If Louis was telling the truth, and he really didn't do this Harry needed to know how this had happened, “how?” he asked.

“They like to take my personal photos and leak them online, claiming it’s a hack. It’s one of the big boss’ at management favourite things to do when they want some free promo.”

“But you’re not promoting anything right now.” Harry paused. “And how did they get your camera?”

Louis got off Harry and sat up again, “I was unpacking my computer bag in my office when management came over just before I left, we had a quick meeting and I probably placed the camera on my desk. They probably just took it when I wasn't looking, they’ve done things like that before so it’s not really a surprise. And I’m taking a break, only releasing an album that I will do almost no promo for, I’ll only do what I want to do. That is why they need the free promo.”

Harry had no knowledge of how promo and management of celebrities worked but he never in his wildest dreams thought anyone would do the things Louis' management did. Them leaking Louis' personal photos shouldn't really come as a surprise when you looked at their track record.

"I don't think they'll give those photos of us to the tabloids. It's too hard to make out who you are and we aren't really doing anything sexual."

Louis seemed so sure, but what if they did? It was like a bomb that was waiting to go off. And his management had the detonator. "Can't you just call them and ask them not to sell the photos?" Harry paused, "if they're published and people see that I'm a guy your career can be over, I don't want to be responsible for that."

Louis sighed, "If that happens it's not your fault. I wish I could ask them, but one of the bosses at my management is a hard head. He's been doing things exactly the same for years, and he won't change. I heard that they're trying to force him out now since he does things like this to his clients. He's at the end of his reign and I'm sure he's going to wreak havoc before he's forced to step down," Louis paused. "Simon pulls you in when you're young, making promises. And when it comes to it he uses every dirty trick in the book to get the most promo, good or bad. He forces his clients to do things they never thought they'd do."

Louis' looked down, "when you wanted to take photos I knew it was a bad idea, I know things like this can happen, it's the reason I barely have any photos of my family on my phone. I don't want to suddenly find them online because of another 'hack'," he paused. "You just looked like you really wanted some photos of us and I wanted to kinda give you that without exposing you, and myself."

Harry didn’t know what to say. He just thought Louis was teasing him when he only took pictures of himself, keeping Harry out of the frame as much as possible. Now he understood why Louis had done it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Harry dragged himself down to the kitchen to get some much-needed caffeine. Jay was standing in the kitchen with a cup in her hands and narrow eyes. She looked up when Harry walked in and gave him a brief good morning greeting.

A minute or two later Louis walked into the kitchen.

“LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON!” Jay screamed at him, “what have you done?”

Louis' eyes widened in shock, “what?” he said with a weak voice.

Jay opened the laptop that was on the kitchen counter.

“THIS!” she turned the laptop towards where Louis was standing. Harry walked closer so he could see what was on the screen.

It was an article with the headline: LOUIS TOMLINSON IN BED WITH UNKNOWN WOMAN – STILLS FROM SEX TAPE? Under it was the pictures.

The bomb had dropped.

“Mum, I…” Louis started, but Jay cut him off. “They see what you are doing, Louis. Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe knows what people are saying about you.”

She looked like she was about to cry. “You know, I try to make up excuses for you and shield your sisters from the things you do. But this, this is it. I am done watching you act like you do, treating women like they are disposable and going out drinking every chance you get.”

Louis looked down at his feet. Jay started crying.

“We’re leaving.” Louis looked at Harry and started to walk towards the kitchen door.

Harry looked at Jay, she was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Louis, you should try to explain. She'll understand.”

“We’re leaving,” Louis said again.

“Please don’t do this. You know you can fix this if you just tell her.” Harry pleaded. It was painful to watch Jay crying, and Harry wanted to help.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, Harry,” Louis' growled.

“Tell me what?” Jay managed to say between her sobs.

“I’m not putting her in that position.”

“So walking out of here is better? Leaving your mother like this, letting her believe all these things about you.”

Louis looked down at his feet again.

“Louis, I’m not trying to force you into telling her. I just need you to think through your options,” It broke his heart to watching Jay and Louis could make it better if he told the truth.

Louis kept his head down and closed his eyes.

Jay went over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Honey, whatever you are scared of telling me, it can’t be worse than what I have already read about you.”

After a while Louis raised his head. There were small tears making their way down his cheeks. “Mum, I.. I’m gay.”

Jay embraced Louis and he started crying into her shoulder.

“Oh, my sweet boy. It’s ok, it’s ok” She cooed as she stroked his back, trying to comfort him.

They stood there holding each other until Louis stopped crying.

When Louis broke the embrace Jay asked, “why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Louis wiped the tears from his cheeks, “I didn’t want you to have to lie to people, mum. What you read about me in those articles aren't true. I didn’t want you to know it isn't true and not be able to speak up, or correct people who believe I’m a womanizer and a party boy.”

“I’m your mother, I love you no matter what and would do anything to protect you. I just don’t understand why you have to be portrayed like that in the media?”

“It’s all part of a market plan, mum. I’m a brand they're selling. It started out pretty innocent with some partying. Then they started to hire girls to walk out of the club with me so the paps could get some pictures. I never slept with any of them, and I hate having to pretend that I have.” Louis looked into Jay’s eyes. “No one can know that I’m gay, it can ruin my career and my record label and management company can probably sue me.”

Jay nodded, “I’ll keep your secret. Won’t tell a single soul.”

“Thank you, mum.”

“I’m just so glad you told me.” Jay looked puzzled. “I’m a bit confused. If it's all for show, are these fake?” she gestured to the pictures on the laptop.

Louis played with his fingers, looking everywhere but Jay, after a moment of silence he said, “Uhm.. No, those are real.”

“But…”

“It’s me and the guy I’m seeing in those pictures. It’s just kinda hard to tell because of the angle they are taken from. And it’s just pictures, not a sex tape.”

Harry had witnessed Louis tell his mum that he is gay, and had to wipe away a few tears himself when he saw Louis crying. He was so happy for Louis but when Jay started asking about the pictures Harry felt really awkward.

“You’re in a relationship?”

There was long pause in their conversation and Louis looked down at his feet before he said, “kind of.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, “kind of? You can’t kind of be in a relationship. Either you have a boyfriend or you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Harry wanted to run out of there or sink into the ground. Jay was pushing Louis to talk about commitment and feelings. What if Louis completely shut down and didn’t want to talk about it? Harry didn’t want that to happen, he wanted a chance to have that conversation when Louis was ready for it.

Louis glanced over at Harry before he answered, “uhm.. I have a boyfriend.”

Jay must have seen Louis looking at Harry because a warm smile spread across her face, “is Harry your boyfriend?”

After a few more beats of silence Louis finally said, “yes,” before he walked over to Harry and put his arm around Harry’s waist.

Harry’s chest felt like it was on fire, in a good way. Louis said that Harry was his boyfriend. This was something Harry had wanted ever since the first time they got together, hell even before that, Harry had wanted this since the first time he saw Louis. And now that Louis had finally said it Harry felt this warm fuzzy feeling running thought his body. He felt so good standing next to Louis, his boyfriend, and Harry's mouth was formed in the biggest grin.

 

Jay made breakfast while Harry and Louis sat down at the kitchen table.

Louis took Harry’s hand and interlaced their fingers.

“So, I’m your boyfriend?” Harry said with a shaky voice.

“Yeah.. I know we probably should've talked about it first. But you have been hinting at it, and I know you’ve wanted to talk about it.”

“I’m not very subtle am I.”

Louis smiled. “I’m sorry for always avoiding serious conversations.”

“It’s ok. I didn’t want to push you. I know it’s hard for you to talk about things like that.” Harry let his thumb stroke the back of Louis’ hand.

Louis’ free hand stroke Harry’s hair and his mouth met Harry’s in a long lingering kiss. The warm fuzzy feeling intensified, he felt dizzy from all the emotions.

When Louis broke the kiss Harry looked over at Jay. Jay looked at him with a huge smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

 

After a long breakfast, they drove in to town to do some grocery shopping. Jay had asked a lot of questions during breakfast, she was trying to understand what had been going on for the past few years of Louis’ life and she kept reassuring him that his secret was safe.

Louis got a call from his management while they were driving into town. During the call Jay was glaring at the phone, she seemed angry at what management had made her son do. Louis said that he wanted to do most of the things to keep his secret hidden, but Jay didn’t seem convinced.

“What did they say?” Jay asked when Louis hung up.

“Just need to keep my head down for a while until this blows over.”

“You get some time off?”

“I'll continue with my planned engagements, and do the writing and recording as I want. I get some time off from going out.”

“No drinking and no girls?”

“Yep.”

“That’s great, Louis.” Jay smiled.

They got into town and decided to walk around to show Harry around. When they walked down the streets some fans came up and asked Louis for autographs and pictures. The day had started dramatic and stressful, but after Louis’ confession to his mum and Louis had said that Harry was his boyfriend, everything was great. Harry had almost forgotten about the pictures when he started noticing some people giving Louis dirty looks. Jay seemed to notice as well, she had a small frown on her face.

“Don’t worry, mum. I’m used to it.” Louis looked at her and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with people looking at you like that,” she said and looked towards a woman who was scowling at Louis.

“It’s fine. Like I said, I’m used to people looking at me. It’s a bit worse here, but that’s probably because they think I give the place a bad name or something. Let’s just go to the store and get home.”

The stares didn’t stop when they got to the store. On the way out of the store Harry saw the tabloids. Big black letters, saying horrible things, and the pictures that was supposed to be a private thing between Harry and Louis was now used as even more proof that Louis was a womanizer.  

 

* * *

 

“What do we tell the girls?” Jay said while she was feeding Doris and Ernest. It was long after dinnertime and Louis’ sisters were late.

“I don’t know.”

Louis and Harry was sitting on the couch in the living room. Harry rested his head on Louis' shoulder and Louis had his arm wrapped around Harry’s waist.

“This is so hard, Louis.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe we just pretend that the pictures doesn't exis…”

They heard someone opening the front door and Louis and Harry scurried away from each other.

All of Louis’ sisters walked into the room, they avoided looking at Louis and sat down close to Jay.

After a few minutes of an awkward silence Louis cleared his throat, “since we’re all here, let’s have dinner?”

The girls almost collectively said that they weren’t hungry.

“Oh, come on. You must be hungry. It’s been hours since lunch.” Louis smiled at them.

“We said that we’re not hungry.”

“We lost out appetite.”

“Yeah, that happens when you see and read about gross things.”

Harry was sure this was a coordinated attack. They must have met up before they went home and discussed how they would act towards Louis.

“Uhmm.. I..” Louis tried to say something to ward off their attack, but failed miserably.

“Had a good day today, bro?”

“My day started pretty good until I went online.”

“Mine was good too, until I noticed that people were staring at me.”

“Yeah, having people stare at you and ask about your brother’s sex life tends to ruin your day.”

The girls were talking pretty loud, and it looked like they were about to raise their voices even more. Jay took Doris and Ernest and left the room.

“It’s really nice having a brother like you, always ruining our..”

Louis got up. His face was hard. His facial expression and sudden movement seemed to startle the girls.

“The pictures was a private thing and the tabloids turned it into something filthy. I’m sorry that you had to read the articles and see my private pictures taken out of context to support the claim that I made a sex tape. I’m sorry for all the looks and the questions you got about me today. That is all I have to say about the matter. You can hate me all you want, that’s fine.”

The girls just looked at him, still giving him dirty looks, before they walked out of the room.

“I need a shower,” Louis sighed.

 

* * *

 

Harry walked into the guestroom and sunk down on the bed. It had been a long emotional day and he was exhausted. He started thinking about Louis, this day must have been more exhausting and emotional for him. He came out to his mother, got dirty looks on the streets and had to take what his sisters threw at him, and let them hate him.

Louis could have defended himself better against his sisters, he could have told them the truth and they would probably understand why Louis was being portrayed like that in the media, but Harry understood why he didn’t. Putting his sisters in a position where they had to lie for him and pretend to think he was something he was not, was something Louis wasn't comfortable with, so it seemed like Louis would rather let them hate him than put them in that position.

Harry decided to check on Louis. He knocked on his bedroom door, and when Louis didn’t answer Harry slowly opened the door. He could hear water running and he peaked his head into the bathroom. Louis was standing in the shower, leaning his head down and the water was running over his head and down his body.

He looked so fragile and tired. Harry wanted to comfort him and just give him a big hug.

Harry locked the door to the bedroom before he took off all his clothes and got in the shower with Louis.

He wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist from behind. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah..” Louis' voice sounded weak and tired.

“Louis, you know you can talk to me if something is wrong or bothering you.”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s clear that you are not fine, Louis. I wish that you would just talk to me.”

“Harry. Please, just leave it ok?”

“I can’t just leave it, you are clearly hurting. I need you to talk to me so we can try and make it better.”

Louis stood completely still, he didn’t say a word. Harry had pushed him too hard.

“Lou, I just want to help. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Fuck me,” Louis voice was like a whisper.

“What?” Harry asked, not sure if he heard him right.

“Fuck me hard, Harry.”

“O-ok,” Harry gulped.

Harry stood still. He was nervous. He had never topped with Louis before. He had done it with previous partners, but never Louis. It just felt natural for Louis to top, and Harry really loved the feeling of Louis inside of him so he never thought about wanting to top. Louis had said that he liked to kind of share that really, and Harry agreed. It was good to share, but he was still nervous about it.

Louis have had more partners and experience than Harry, they hadn't really talked about it but it was clear that Louis had more experience. Louis' two years older so it's not so weird that he'd slept with more people.

Louis always seemed so sure of himself and what he was doing, and Harry was nervous and unsure of himself. What if Louis didn’t like it when Harry fucked him?

Louis got on his knees in front of Harry. He started stroking over Harry’s balls and licking the tip of his cock. Harry leaned his head back and moaned as Louis took him into his mouth.

When Louis got up and turned around Harry was nervous again.

Louis looked over his shoulder, “have you never done it before?”

“I-I have done it before,” Harry stuttered.

Harry got out of the shower to get some lube. He took his time, trying to calm his nerves. After taking his time getting the lube he got back in the shower and started to spread Louis’ cheeks. His hands were shaking when he tried to pour some lube on his fingers and he dropped the bottle.

“Harry, are you ok?”

“Yeah, brilliant,” his voice was shaking.

Louis turned around and picked up the lube. “Why are you all shaky and nervous then?”

“It’s just..” Harry looked down at his feet, “what if you don’t like it when I fuck you?”

Louis' raised an eyebrow, “you’re concerned I’m not going to enjoy myself?”

“You are always so confident and you know what you are doing. And it just feels natural for you to top." Harry paused and bit down on his bottom lip, "I just want you to like it.”

Louis gave him a hug.

This was not how it was supposed to go, Harry was supposed to comfort Louis after a rough day. Louis was not supposed to comfort Harry because he was scared that Louis wouldn’t like it when he fucked him.

“Harry, I’m sure I’m going to like it. Just relax and take your time,” Louis kissed him and turned around again.

Harry swallowed and let two of his fingers stroke Louis’ rim. He started to slowly push one inside, he felt Louis’ warmth around his finger. He let the finger move around inside of Louis trying to find his prostate. He pushed in another finger, Louis rim started to stretch out around him. Louis breathed heavy when Harry pushed in a third finger. Louis leaned his head against the wall and moaned.

After fumbling to get Louis ready, his hands shaking as he let his fingers open his hole, Harry removed his fingers and just stood there spreading Louis’ cheeks, looking at his hole.

Louis looked over his shoulder, “just relax, Harry. Take all the time you need.”

Harry felt his heart beating out of his chest when he let the tip of his cock slide over Louis’ rim, and he started to push it inside. Louis was panting against the wall.

“Oh, that feels so good.”

Louis’ encouragement made Harry gain some confidence and he soon had all of his cock inside Louis. He slowly started to move.

After a few slow thrusts Louis moaned and clenched around Harry making him move his hips faster.

Harry was close, the feeling in his groin intensifying. He moaned loudly. Louis clenched around him and started shaking, cum was shooting from Louis’ cock against the wall in the shower and Harry followed, he felt the orgasm in his entire body as his cock was filling Louis' hole with cum. He was panting and leaned against Louis' back for support of his body when it was over.

“Uhmm.. Did you..”

“I enjoyed that very much. Don’t worry, if there's something I don’t like I’ll tell you.”

“Ok, good,” Harry said, but he was not so sure Louis would tell him. There was so much Louis was holding back and didn’t want to talk about. What if Louis didn’t like something they did in bed, and held back his feelings about that too?

Harry quickly forgot his insecurities when Louis pulled him in for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I'm a bigger fan of drama and angst than I originally thought, so there may be a lot more of that in the next chapters. I think it will be worth it, so if you're not a fan of that just bear with me :)


	8. This is the new year, a new beginning

Even though Harry enjoyed most of his time with Louis in Doncaster he was glad to be back in London. Being in Doncaster had been emotionally draining for both of them but it had brought them closer. Harry hadn’t been home in a long time, the short stop to pick up clothes before leaving for Doncaster didn’t count as being home.

Niall seemed to be happy about having Harry back. Harry was off work until after new years and he spent the first part of his break walking around the city taking pictures, reading and painting. At night he cooked elaborate dinners for him and Niall. Niall told Harry that if he ever tried to leave for a long period of time again he would lock him in the kitchen. Harry wasn’t sure if Niall missed him or his cooking most.

Spending time alone and hanging out with his best mate was great, but he started missing Louis as soon as he left Louis in Doncaster. After a few days Harry was starting to get restless and not being with Louis made him a bit moody. They did talk on the phone, and Harry was getting to know more about Louis since he was now starting to open up a bit more, there was still a wall there but Harry felt like the more they talked the more the wall was coming down. He did still miss him though, hearing his voice was not the same as seeing him in person.

He felt better when he went home to Holmes Chapel on Christmas eve, spending time with his family distracted him from thinking about Louis.

Seeing his mother’s face light up when he came home and how happy his sister Gemma and his step-dad Robin was to have him home made Harry feel both happy and a bit guilty. Happy because it was so nice to be home and get to spend time with them and guilty because he had been bad at keeping in touch and making time to see them. Being home for Christmas made Harry realise how much he really missed his family, and he promised himself that he would make time to see them more often.

 

* * *

 

It had been over a week since New Year’s Eve and the last time they talked, Louis had ‘gone under ground’ as he said. Louis apparently used to drop off the face of the earth when he was writing songs, he turned off his phone and went somewhere no one could find him. He said it helped the creative process.

After a week with no sign of life from Louis Harry figured he could try calling in hopes that Louis actually had his phone on for some part of the day when he was writing. After five rings Louis picked up.

“Hi babe.”

“Hi, am I interrupting?”

“No, just got back from the studio. I’m at my house now.”

“Ok, how was writing?”

“It was good. I finished some songs I had already started on and wrote some new ones, recorded one of them today actually.”

“Great.” Harry paused. “Ehmm.. I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight? I can cook us dinner.”

“I’d love that. Can’t wait to see you.”

“Can’t wait to see you too.”

“I’ll be at your place around eight. Bye.”

“Ok. I love you. Bye.”

Shit! Did he really just do that?

He couldn’t believe he had just told Louis that he loved him. On the phone. Not really a great way to say I love you for the first time. Louis must be freaking out right now. It had taken Louis a long time to start opening up more to Harry, and he was basically pushed into a corner when he said Harry was his boyfriend. In Harry’s mind, he suspected in Louis’ too, there was a huge difference between being in a relationship with someone and being in love with them, and actually really loving them and saying I love you to that person. Harry had probably been in love with Louis since the first time he met him. But loving him, he didn’t know when that happened. It felt so natural to say I love you to Louis and Harry knew that he meant it when he said it.

He started cleaning the flat and prepping for dinner to get his mind of what Louis was thinking and if he would show up tonight after Harry’s little love declaration on the phone. He concluded that Louis would show up. They had come a long way since Louis fucked Harry up against the wall at the hotel room, Louis still had commitment issues and trouble talking about his feelings but sometimes Louis was at least trying, or so Harry told himself.

 

* * *

 

Harry was making his famous roast beef for dinner and crème brûlée for dessert. At seven thirty he realised he was missing some ingredients, and he figured he had time to go out and get them before Louis got there.

He was not prepared for the scene that met him when he walked in the front door when he came back from the store, his jaw dropped as he saw people dancing and drinking accompanied by loud music that made the floor shake. After standing there perplexed looking at the scene in front of him for a minute or two Harry walked into the kitchen to find more people and Niall standing over his roast beef.

“Love your roast beef, man,” Niall said with his mouth full of the dinner Harry had made for Louis.

Harry wanted to hit Niall in the head with the bag full of groceries he had in his hand.

“Why is there this many drunk people in our flat, Niall?” Harry yelled so what he said wouldn’t drown in the loud music.

“Me and some guys from Uni went bar hopping and we got a few other friends to join us,” Niall said gesticulating wildly with a hand full of roast beef, dropping pieces of it on the floor.

Harry rolled his eyes as he looked at his drunk friend, “it’s not even eight o’clock, Niall. How can you be this drunk, this early?”

“Classes were cancelled today so we started early.”

Niall had probably been drinking since noon by the looks of him. Harry was about to start yelling at Niall for ruining his romantic dinner with Louis when Niall squealed, “Looouiiii! I’ve missed you mate.”

Harry turned around and there was Louis standing by the door to the kitchen. He looked absolutely breathtaking, his fringe framed his beautiful face and he was giving them one of his brilliant smiles, the one that made small crinkles by his bright blue eyes. Harry felt butterflies in his stomach and he started to blush.

“I’ve missed you too Niall.” Louis went over and gave Niall a hug. “If I’d known there would be this many people I would have brought more wine.” He put a bottle of what looked like expensive red wine on the kitchen counter.

Louis walked over to Harry and gave him a hug, “thought you were making a nice dinner for two,” Louis said, not even bothering to whisper since the music was so loud and no one would hear what he said anyway.

“Yeah, I did. But I went out to get some things I forgot and came back to this. Sorry.” The evening Harry had planned was ruined and he couldn’t help but pout and feel some resentment towards his blonde Irish friend.

“It’s fine. Getting to meet some of your friends is nice,” Louis smiled.

“Yeah.” Harry looked down, most of his friends were there which was nice but it was not the setting he wanted them to meet Louis in. Louis was his boyfriend. Of course he couldn’t tell them that, but he wanted his friends to not be drunken idiots when they met him.

“Harry, I know this is probably not the night you planned. But let’s make the best of it, ok?”

“Ok.” Harry tried to give Louis a genuine smile.

Louis looked around the kitchen, “so, where the dinner you made? I’m starving.”

 

Harry and Louis stood at the kitchen counter eating the roast beef and drinking Louis’ wine. It was quite romantic if you ignored the fact that people were doing body shots at the breakfast bar.

No one seemed to notice that a celebrity was in the room. Harry was grateful for that because it meant that he had Louis all to himself and they could talk about what they had been doing in the time they’d been apart. Thankfully, someone turned the volume down, so the music wasn’t quite as loud, and it was possible to have a normal conversation.

After eating Harry went into the living room while Louis fixed them drinks. Most of Harry’s closest friend were sitting in the sofas in front of the TV discussing how the internet and social media had changed how the media reported news stories, the discussion was led by his friend Regina who worked as a freelance investigative journalist.

“That’s what I’m telling you, with the internet you lose..” Regina looked up, “Harry! I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while. Good to see you.” Harry gave her a hug.

He said hi and gave out hugs to the rest of his friends sitting with Regina on the sofas.

“What you been up to lately, H?”

“Just working, had some time off since before Christmas so I’ve been..” Harry stopped when he noticed Regina and a girl named Maggie staring at something behind Harry’s back.

“Is that?” Maggie muttered.

Harry turned around and came face to face with Louis who handed him a drink, “I tried to make your usual, but I have no idea what goes in a Cosmo so I made you a vodka tonic. Hope that’s alright?”

“Yeah.”

Harry turned to face his friends again. Regina and Maggie had big eyes, some of the guys also seemed to be aware of who was standing next to Harry. Harry had only told Niall and his family that he worked for Louis. Judging by their shocked faces, it looked like none of his friends had seen the pictures of him and Niall with Louis and Liam. In that moment he was glad that none of his friends paid attention to celebrity news and gossip.

“You’re Louis Tomlinson,” his friend Mike said.

“Yep, that’s me.”

“W-what are you doing here?” Mike looked like he had trouble understanding that Louis was actually standing in front of him.

“Harry invited me.”

They all looked at Harry.

“I work for Louis,” Harry explained, trying to fight the blush that was threatening to settle on his cheeks as he lied. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.

“You never told us that,” Maggie said eyeing Harry.

“I..” Harry started but Louis cut him off. “I asked him not to tell so many people, some of my fans can be rather pushy and tend to be very interested in knowing the people that are close to me. I like to make sure none of the people that work with me gets unwanted attention.”

“Oh,” Maggie said while she started blushing.

“What’s your job Harry?” Regina asked.

“I’m Louis’ personal assistant.”

“So that’s why you been away so much lately.”

“Yeah, we were in America. Louis did a small tour there.”

“How was it?” Regina asked Louis.

“It was amazing. I love being on stage, seeing my fans reactions to the songs and interacting with them. It’s probably my favourite part of the job,” Louis smiled.

Harry’s friends continued to asked questions about how the tour was and where they had been.

The conversation stopped when Louis’ phone started ringing. He looked at the screen, frowned a bit and showed Harry. It was management.

“Excuse me, I’m going to have to take this.” Louis walked out in the hallway.

“So, Harry, what’s it really like working for Louis Tomlinson?” One of Niall’s friend’s from Uni asked.

“It’s good,” was all Harry managed to say. He felt hot, and his face was probably a deep shade of red now. He was terrible at keeping secrets and lying, and the questions about Louis kept coming, making Harry flustered while he tried to come up with natural responses that didn’t raise eyebrows.

 

When Louis came back he put his hand on the small of Harry’s back and leaned in to whisper, “there is a second round of photos of us being published as we speak.”

“Seriously!” Harry exclaimed causing his friends to stare at him, curiosity written all over their faces.

“It’s apparently the pictures of me with you in the crook of my neck and me biting and kissing your back and neck,” Louis whispered in his ear.

Harry looked at him and whispered back, “I should have looked at all the photos they published of us the first time, I was just really upset and didn’t think to check if they published all of them.”

“It’s a good thing they can’t see it’s you in those pictures, this could have been a lot worse.”

Harry straighten up and Louis removed his hand from Harry’s back, “I’m gonna get another drink, anyone want anything?” Louis said. Regina went with Louis to the kitchen to get the drinks and Harry sat down next to Maggie who was tapping away at her phone. Harry was willing to bet that she was looking into Louis online.

When Regina and Louis came back it looked like they had a good conversation, they were laughing and it almost looked like Regina was flirting with him. After handing out the drinks they sat down in the sofa opposite to where Harry was sitting.

Harry got into a conversation with a few of the lads, but it was suddenly interrupted by Maggie making a sound that sounded like a shriek, muffled by the hand she had placed over her mouth. She was staring at her phone.

Harry caught a glimpse of the screen and grabbed it from her hand. He looked at the headline of the article Maggie had been looking at, MORE PICTURES FROM LOUIS TOMLINSON’S SEX TAPE? Under it were the pictures Louis told Harry they were publishing. The article speculated if it was pictures from a sex tape, and if so, when the tape would leak. They also speculated in who the person with Louis in the photos are.

Harry handed the phone to Louis and he looked at the article, his face was giving nothing away about what he was thinking and feeling.

When he gave Maggie her phone back he gave Harry a quick look.

In the time Harry and Louis had looked at the article, the people sitting around them got their phones up, probably trying to figure out what Maggie, Harry and Louis had been looking at. Harry could tell by their faces when they found it, some of them looked shocked, others just sat there with their mouths open staring at Louis and Mike looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh.

“Dude! That sucks!” Mike said to Louis.

“Maybe you should call your attorney?” Regina said.

Louis sighed, “there’s nothing they can do about it. And people have probably saved the pictures so there is no way of making them go away completely.”

Niall came running over. “Seriously, there’s more photos from that camera? When will this end. It’s like the gift no one wants but it keeps on giving. If there’s more of me from when I visited you on tour I’m gonna punch you in the face,” he looked up and down Louis’ body with narrow eyes, like he was trying to measure if he could beat him in a fight.

“What? Pictures of you on tour?” Mike laughed.

“Yeah, Louis and his best mate Liam took a lot of pictures when we were in LA and Vegas, they were published before Louis’ sex tape photos.”

“Hold on. I got to see these photos.” Mike laughed even harder and picked up his phone again. Niall shook his head. “You’re wasted in these! This is fucking hilarious,” Mike was clutching his stomach, he was laughing so hard it almost looked painful.

“No, it’s not. What if I apply for a job one day and they have seen those photos? I don’t want a future employer to see that,” Niall’s face was turning red in frustration.

“They don’t even know your name so there is nothing linking you to those photos. It will probably be fine,” Harry said trying to calm his friend down.

“I can’t take that chonce. You need to get them off the internet Louis,” Niall looked at Louis with pleading eyes.

“If I could do something about it don’t you think I would? It’s not like I like that there are pictures of me and my friends hanging out, and pictures of a private moment between me and my.. uhm..” Louis stopped and looked down at his hands.

“Ehh.. I know if you could do something about it, you would have done it. I’m just a little upset.” Niall tried to cover up Louis almost mishap. Harry hoped that no one noticed and started asking Louis if he was in a relationship.

But of course Regina the nosy journalist caught it, “so these are pictures of you and your girlfriend?”

“Not exactly,” Louis looked at her with narrow eyes, “and all of this is of the record, if I see anything about this in print you can be sure I can do something about it.”

“Of course. This is a private party and you’re a friend of Harry and Niall. I wouldn’t dream of writing anything about this, I couldn’t do that to a friend of a friend.” Regina gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

This was not the night Harry had planned, he and Louis was supposed to have a nice dinner, make out on the couch and spend all night feeling each other up. Instead, there was a party in his flat and most of his friends had now seen his boyfriend half-naked.

  

Harry started drinking more, it was the only way he could survive this night. He turned the music up and started dancing. And he was not the only one, it was getting late and pretty much everyone was drunk and in the mood for jumping around on the living room floor.

Louis stayed on the sofa talking with Regina and Mike, Harry could sometimes catch him glancing over. Harry danced until he was out of breath, and went over and sat down next to Mike.

Regina and Louis were still talking.

“Sounds like you write about some interesting things.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great being able to write about what I like. What about you, been writing any new songs lately?”

“Yeah, just finished writing and recording a few songs,” Louis waved Harry over, “I brought one of the songs I finished recording today. Thought you could listen to it and let me know what you think,” Louis handed Harry a flash drive.

“Really?” Harry took the flash drive with shaking hands.

“Yeah, go ahead and put it on.”

Regina grinned, “are you going to let us listen to a song that’s not been released yet? This is so exciting.”

“Tell me honestly what you think. I want to have it on my new album but I always like to get some feedback before I make a decision.”

“Sure. As you can probably tell after talking with me for a while, I tell people what I think.” Regina smiled at Louis.

Harry got the laptop that was hooked up to the sound system. He sat down next to Louis again and opened the mp3 file on the flash drive and the music started flowing out of the speakers.

 

“Make a little conversation  
So long I've been waiting  
To let go of myself and feel alive

So many nights I thought it over  
Told myself I kind of liked her  
But there was something missing in her eyes

I was stumbling, looking in the dark  
With an empty heart  
But you say you feel the same  
Could we ever be enough?  
Baby we could be enough

And it's alright  
Calling out for somebody to hold tonight  
When you're lost, I'll find the way  
I'll be your light  
You'll never feel like you're alone

I'll make this feel like home

So hot that I couldn't take it  
Want to wake up and see your face  
And remember how good it was being here last night

Still high with a little feeling  
I see the smile as it starts to creep in  
It was there, I saw it in your eyes……”

  
  
The song was beautiful.

“That was amazing. What’s it called?” Regina asked when the song was finished.

“Home.”

“Really good,” Mike said with a dopey smile and tears in his eyes, Harry wasn’t sure if it was from listening to the song or because he was so drunk.

“Yeah,” Maggie said, also with teary eyes, “is it a love song?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

Louis leaned closer to Harry, took the flash drive from the laptop and whispered in Harry’s ear, “It’s about us, I wrote it thinking about you.”

“It’s about us?” Harry muttered. He couldn’t believe that Louis had written such a beautiful song with their relationship in mind.

“Yes,” Louis said while he leaned back on the sofa and took a sip of his drink.

Harry was stunned. Suddenly him saying I love you on the phone didn’t feel like such a bad thing. Of course he wished the first time he said it was not on the phone, but now he knew that Louis wouldn’t run away or shut down completely because Harry had said that he loved him.

 

* * *

 

It was almost three a.m. and the party was still going. Harry was tired and drunk. He had been dancing some more and suddenly felt the urge to lay down so he stumbled into his room. A few minutes after he collapsed on the bed he heard someone entering the room.

“Hi, babe.”

Harry was laid face down, Louis sat down on the bed and started stroking his back. “Are you ok?”

“Yeeah.. Just a bit tired. And drunk,” Harry mumbled into the pillow.

Louis chuckled, “I can see that. Anything I can do for you?”

“Yeah, you can take off your clothes and come into bed with meee.” Harry wiggled his ass. In his drunk mind it was a good seduction technique.

Louis laughed, “I was thinking more like get you some water.”

“Louuu, I want you. Need to feel you,” Harry whined. They hadn’t had sex in weeks, and his hand hadn’t even been close to as satisfying as Louis.

Louis sighed, “Harry, I’m not going to have sex with you when you’re this drunk.”

Harry pouted and wiggled his bum on more time, still trying to get Louis to take the bait, “why not?”

“It would feel like I was taking advantage of you.”

“But you have taken advantage of me before,” Harry said, his drunk mind not really processing what he was saying before the words left his mouth.

Louis froze, “What?” his voice shaky and low as he spoke.

Harry started rambling, the words just came flying out of his mouth, “from the first time we met you knew I liked you, you saw me looking at you and you knew I was in love with you. You always act like a jerk. You enjoy teasing me and toying with my emotions. At one point I was scared you would fire me. The first times we had sex you took advantage of me, you ignored me afterwards and didn’t talk to me about what had happened and what you wanted. I was scared of what was going to happen, I thought you’d just use me whenever you felt like it. You never talk to me about your feelings, it always has to be forced out of you, I hate that you have to be that way.”

In the middle of Harry talking Louis had removed his hand from his back and turned away from him. Louis was breathing heavily through his nostrils, when he spoke his voice was low and laced with an iciness that sent shivers down Harry’s spine, “Is that really what you think of me? That I’m a jerk that enjoy playing around with your emotions? That I took advantage of you and would use you just for sex? You haven’t in the time we’ve been together stopped to think that maybe I’m scared too? That it’s hard for me to explore and express my feelings through words, so I did it the only way I knew how?”

“Louis, I…” Harry started but Louis was already on his feet and out the door slamming it shut behind him.


	9. I feel like I die till I feel your touch

The room was spinning, his head was pounding and he felt like there was sandpaper stuck in his throat. He looked around to see that he was in his bed, still wearing the clothes from last night. The smell in the room made him scrunch his nose and he felt his stomach turn, it was a mixture of alcohol, sweat and cigarettes. Ugh! He must have had way too much to drink last night. His body was desperate for water and painkillers, and maybe something to eat if he could stomach it.

Just the thought of getting up and walking to the kitchen made him feel exhausted but he had to do it. It was not easy though, getting up from the bed and trying to stabilize his body in the spinning room so he wouldn’t fall over and walking through the living room which was littered with bottles and cups, and sticky patches of spilled alcohol and food on the floor made him want to throw up and lie down on the kitchen floor to sleep when he finally got there.   

“Good morning, princess.” Niall chippered when Harry stumbled into the kitchen. He looked like he didn’t feel the same effects of last night’s alcohol consume like Harry.

“Ugh.. Morning.” Harry rested his forehead against the kitchen counter in the hopes that it would ground him and make the room stop spinning.

“Wow, Harry. You look like shit,” Niall ended the sentence with a giggle as he looked at Harry’s hungover form leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I feel like it too,” Harry mumbled.

Niall handed him some water and coffee. “Here, this will make it better.”

“Thank you,” Harry slowly straightened up to take what was offered to him.

“What happened last night?”

“What do you mean?” Harry gave Niall a confused look, his brain wasn’t fully functioning yet, and he hadn’t given much thought to the events that led him to wake up as hungover as he was.

Niall’s eyebrows formed a worried frown, “I saw Louis coming out your room. He just stormed out of here without saying goodbye.”

“Umm…” Harry tried to piece together all that went on at the party, he remembered everything clearly until right after they listened to Louis’ new song. He was drunk at that point, but he must have been drinking a lot more after that.

Suddenly it all came back to him. Louis being sweet and coming into his room to see if he needed anything. The things that was said. His eyes started tearing up.

“Niall, I screwed up,” he choked out.

“What happened?”

“I said some things to Louis that I didn’t mean,” Harry buried his head in his hands.

Niall’s frown was getting deep now, “why would you say something you didn’t mean?”

“It w-was j-just thoughts I had before we became b-boyfriends, I-I w-was i-insecure and….” Tears started streaming down Harry’s face. “I’ve really fucked things up,” his lips trembling as he spoke, trying to get the words out before he completely broke down and lost his voice.

He didn’t mean to say those things. He knew Louis now. He knew who Louis was and what he was like. He knew that it was hard for Louis to talk about his feelings and be in a relationship.

Niall gave Harry a hug, “I’m sure you can fix it.”

“I’m not sure if it can be fixed,” Harry sniffled into Niall’s shoulder.

Harry spent the rest of the day in his room. He had probably ruined things with Louis and the thought of that made him cry even more. He was going back to work on Monday and he didn’t know what Louis would be like and what he could say to try and fix it.

 

On Monday morning Harry stood outside Louis’ house in Hampstead. Louis’ house was being renovated when Harry started working for him and it was finished when they got back from tour so Harry had never been there before.

He’d been given keys but he was hesitant about just walking into Louis’ house after what happened at the party.

After standing outside for ten minutes he managed to build enough courage to let himself in the front door. The house was huge, when he came into the hall there was a double staircase leading upstairs and a living room to his left. It was light and spacious with artwork on the walls. He walked under the stairs and further into the house, into another living room, a huge dining room and the kitchen. Louis was sitting by a breakfast bar in the kitchen with a man in a suit, they looked at him when he walked into the room.

“Ah, you must be Mr. Styles. Pleasure to meet you,” the man said.

“Pleasure to meet you too,” Harry said, being polite, not really feeling like it was a pleasure with the tense atmosphere in the room and Louis avoiding looking at him.

Harry had no idea who the man was but since he was wearing a suit Harry assumed he was with Louis’ management or a business contact.

The man turned back to Louis, “alright then, I’ll have the papers drawn up.”

“Thank you very much Jeremy,” Louis said and shook the man’s hand.

Louis walked away and started looking out a window when the man walked out of the room.

“Umm.. Louis..” Harry said nervously.

“Just tell me where I need to be today.” Louis voice was just like it was before he walked out of Harry’s bedroom, so cold and low, and distant.

“Uhm.. You have a radio interview at ten and a meeting with a producer at twelve. And tonight..” Harry’s eyes widened when he looked at the entry in the calendar, “you have an appearance at a club.”

“Ok.” Louis started to walk out of the room, not sparing Harry a glance as he walked past him.

Harry wanted to grab his arm and make him stay so they could talk things out, instead he said, voice raspy and shaking, “I’m..” Louis walked faster when Harry opened his mouth and rounded the corner disappearing from Harry’s view, leaving Harry to say “sorry” to the kitchen counter.

 

* * *

 

A week passed, and the routine was always the same. Louis was up when Harry came in the morning and Harry read him his schedule. Harry went with Louis everywhere and Louis barely acknowledged him, and if Harry tried to say something that wasn’t work related Louis would cut him off. Harry just wanted a chance to clear things up but Louis didn’t give him any.

It was torture existing around Louis like that, seeing him and being with him every day but not really being with him. All Harry wanted was for it to go back to normal and not have to exist in this limbo where nothing was resolved.

One day after Harry had been out running some errands for Louis he heard laughter coming from the living room when he got back to the house. Louis was sitting on the sofa with a girl in her mid-twenties. She had long brown hair, big brown eyes and full lips. Harry took in her appearance, she was pretty but she was trying too hard with wearing a very revealing dress, showing off an impressive cleavage.

“Vicky this is Harry, my personal assistant,” Louis said when he heard Harry walk into the room.

Vicky flashed him a bright smile, showing of a row of perfect pearly whites, “nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Harry smiled back, trying to make it look genuine, it killed him seeing this girl sitting so close to Louis. “Uhm..Louis, I got everything you needed, is there anything more I can do?”

“You can get us a bottle of wine,” Louis said while letting his hand run through Vicky’s hair.

It wasn’t really Harry’s job to get Louis stuff around the house, he wasn’t some sort of butler. The only reason Harry used to make Louis coffee in the mornings was because it was the easiest way to get him out of bed and he really loved seeing the smile on Louis’ face when he gave him the coffee. Now Harry was willing to get Louis as many bottles of wine or make him whatever he wanted just to get Louis to talk to him.

Music was flowing from the speakers when Harry got back with the bottle and two glasses. It was the song. The song Louis had written about them.

Harry’s heart was pounding as he stood in the doorway listening to the song and looking at Louis.

“It's beautiful Louis. Is it going to be on your new album?” Vicky said. Something about the tone in her voice made Harry cringe, it was so girly and flirty.

Louis sighed, “it was. But I’m not sure I'm really feeling it anymore.” Louis’ cold eyes met Harry’s.

“Did you write it for someone special?”

Louis looked away from Harry and mumbled, “yeah.”

Vicky put her hand on Louis thigh, “Did she break your heart?”

“They kind of did,” Louis said flatly, like it didn’t bother him at all.

“Awww, you poor baby,” Vicky cooed and let her hand slide further up Louis thigh.

Louis put a hand on Vicky’s cheek and leaned in to kissed her.

It looked really awkward, Louis didn’t know how to kiss a girl at all. Looking at it made Harry want to throw up, he didn’t want Louis’ lips on anyone but him, especially not some wannabe actress/model gold-digging club girl.

Harry couldn’t watch it anymore, he put the bottle and glasses harshly down on the table in front of them making Vicky slightly jump at the sudden noise.

“Is there anything else I can do before I go home?” he said through gritted teeth, it took everything he had not to scream at Vicky for touching his man, and at Louis for being a complete asshole.

“No,” Louis said. He didn’t look at Harry as he answered him, he just pulled Vicky closer again and started fiddling with her hair.

Harry was about to turn and walk out of the room. “Wait. You can put condoms on the shopping list,” Louis said. Vicky giggled, her eyes lighting up like she just hit the jackpot.

Louis expression was so hard and indifferent, he looked right into Harry’s eyes, a smug smile formed on his face as Harry’s lips started to tremble.

“Ehh.. O-ok,” Harry mumbled, his anger about watching Louis kiss a girl replaced with an overwhelming feeling of anguish and regret as he tried to blink back the tears that were threatening to build up in his eyes as he watched how Louis was acting.

“Thanks. Have a nice evening, I certainly will,” Louis said and moved his face closer to Vicky’s again, making her giggle, again.

Harry walked out of there fast, tears pressing up in his eyes and starting to make their way down his face.

No way in hell Louis was sleeping with that girl or any other girl for that matter. Louis told Harry he had only slept with one girl in his entire life, she was his girlfriend when he was around sixteen or seventeen years old, their relationship ended before his career took off. He said that she was a sweet girl and that he had tried to like her as more than a friend.

Louis wasn’t going to go out and find a guy to sleep with either. Louis told him that he made sure the guys he had slept with before didn’t know who he was and that they lived far from London so there was no chance of him running into them on the streets, and it had been a long time since the last time Louis had done that, according to Louis.

Harry and Louis stopped using condoms after the first few times they had sex, they had both practiced safe sex with their previous partners and they were only sleeping with each other. And Harry was sure it was safe, with how much it took for Louis to finally sleep with Harry he was sure that Louis just wouldn’t find some random person to sleep with.

So Louis certainly didn’t need condoms. The only reason Louis kissed and touched the girl and asked Harry to put condoms on the shopping list was to provoke a reaction out of Harry. And with the way tears was streaming down Harry’s face as he walked down the street towards the subway, getting some weird stares from people walking by, and the feeling of his heart breaking, Louis had succeeded.

Harry didn’t mean most of the things he said to Louis in his bedroom when he was drunk, but Louis could certainly be a jerk sometimes.

 

* * *

 

 

“Niall, I don’t know if I can take it anymore,” Harry whined, burying his head in his hands.

“It will work out, just be patient.”

Harry and Niall was laying on the sofa sharing a bottle of wine.

It had been a particularly hard day.

Louis had been in the studio putting the finishing touches on his new album.

“This is gold!” the guys in the studio said after they listened through the album.

“I think we’re done,” the producer said.

“Yeah, it sounds good.” Louis was sitting in a chair with a beer in his hand.

“It’s just one more thing we need to talk about. The song ‘Home’, do you want it on the album or not?”

Louis looked down at the floor, “I’m not really sure, haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“It’s a really good song. You should do it, the fans will love it.”

Louis glanced over at Harry.

“Dude, I know it’s like a love song you wrote with someone in mind. But come on, you can’t not have it on the album just because she broke your heart,” the producer put a hand on Louis’ shoulder, “does she know it’s for her?”

Louis nodded.

“All the more reason to have it on the album. If she broke your heart, think about how she will react to hearing the song being played on the radio and seeing it become a hit. Then she might regret breaking your heart.”

“I think he already regrets breaking your heart,” Harry murmured under his breath.

“Put it on the album then,” Louis said and took a sip of his beer.

“Great! Now all we have to do is get drunk and celebrate,” the producer grinned.

Louis chuckled, “it’s the middle of the day. Not that many bars and clubs open.”

“And yet here you are, already drinking,” one of the guys said.

“I thought about that, my friend. Therefore, I invited some guests to come here.” The producer walked out of the room and came back in with a few girls and more beers. “Now we don’t have to go out to get drunk and have fun.”

Louis laughed, “you do think of everything.”

Harry just sat there watching the guys drinking and the girls dancing and flirting with them. A girl went over to straddle Louis and she started grinding on him and running her fingers through his hair. She leaned in to whisper a few times, Louis laughed every time she did.

Harry felt sick. He could have gone home hours ago. Louis’ workday was over and Harry didn’t have to be there, but he hadn’t been able to move after the girls came into the room, he just sat there watching Louis.

One of the guys caught Harry’s stares at Louis and the girl, and said with a smirk, “maybe your PA want some action too? You should really learn to share the girls Louis.”

“Nah, they’re not really his thing,” Louis smirked at him.

Harry started to blush. “I should go.”

“Probably best,” Louis looked at him with narrow eyes.

The guys looked a little confused, some of them staring at Harry’s flushed face.

“Yes, probably is. Enjoy your night Louis,” Harry mumbled.

“Oh, I will,” Louis laughed and gave the girls arse an audible smack.

The guys roaring laughter followed Harry as he left the room.

All the way home he was fighting the urge to cry. When he finally got in the door he sunk down on the floor and started sobbing.

Niall found him there, got him over to the sofa and got him a glass of wine. They had been sitting there drinking for hours. Harry felt like shit, and Niall tried his best to cheer him up.

It was nice having a friend like Niall who was always there for him and knew when he needed a shoulder to cry on or when he needed a smack in the head for being an idiot or a reality check.

Today he just needed a shoulder to cry on. Not just because it had been heartbreaking watching Louis today, but also because tomorrow was Harry's birthday. And he knew how it would be spent, curled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine, and maybe he'd have a good cry. Happy birthday to him!

Louis had actually given him the day off, he hadn't mentioned that it was Harry's birthday, he just said he didn't need him to come to work. In a weird way Harry viewed it as a small victory. Louis had actually looked at him and talked to him without saying something to hurt him or provoke a reaction, and when Louis talked he had a small look of regret for a brief second. Harry chose to take it as Louis regretting that he wasn't really talking to Harry, and that he wanted to spend Harry's birthday with him but he didn't know how to say it and start a conversation about why they weren't really talking.

 

* * *

 

A few days later Harry was sitting alone in the green room while Louis was getting ready for a taping of a chat show when the man from Louis’ kitchen walked in.

“Mr. Styles, may I have a moment?”

“Of course, ehm.. Mr.. ehm,” Harry looked down at his hands, the man hadn’t really introduced himself to Harry in Louis’ kitchen so he had no idea who he was and why he wanted to speak with him.

“It’s Jeremy Andrews, I’m one of Mr. Tomlinson’s attorneys.”

“Uhm..” Why did one of Louis’ attorneys want to speak with him?

“Mr. Styles, when you started working for Mr. Tomlinson you signed the standard non-disclosure agreement that all the people who work close with him have to sign. As I understand the relationship between you and Mr. Tomlinson have.. uh.. progressed since that.”

“Progressed?” Harry asked, Jeremy looked a bit uncomfortable and a slight blush was forming on his cheeks.

He cleared his throat, “you and Mr. Tomlinson entered into a relationship with a sexual nature that the standard NDA does not cover. When the relationship ended Mr. Tomlinson asked me to draw up some papers to protect him if there should be any backlash. We would like it if you sign this contract stating that you will not divulge any details about Mr. Tomlinson’s sexual preferences and the relationship between you.”

He tried to hand Harry some papers. Harry was frozen, he couldn’t move. The relationship was ended. It could not be over. Harry refused to believe it was over, they had barely begun.

“If you sign this it also protects you, Mr. Styles. If at some point your relationship becomes known to the public, and it’s not you that have made it known, Mr. Tomlinson will provide for you financially while you relocate. Of course, if it is you who have made the relationship known we will take legal actions against you.”

Harry’s mind was foggy, he didn’t really hear or understand what Jeremy was saying, “wait, why would I have to relocate?”

“You know how the media can be. It’s to protect you from being in the center of a scandal and the media storm that there most likely will be should the public find out about Mr. Tomlinson’s sexuality the wrong way,” Jeremy stared at Harry, probably trying to read his expression, “for now you keep your job, and Mr. Tomlinson have agreed to give you an increase in your salary and a car to use for work.”

Was Louis trying to buy him off? Did he really think Harry would sell him out and that he needed to give Harry money and a car to make sure he kept his mouth shut?

“You are welcome to look over the contract with your attorney. And should there be anything you want added we can see if that can be done.”

“Added?” Harry asked, his mind still not fully comprehending what the man in front of him was saying.

“If there’s anything more you need. Living expenses taken care of, for example.”

Louis was really trying to buy him off. Harry grabbed the papers and started walking determinedly towards Louis’ dressing room. Harry had been patient and respected Louis right to be upset and angry with him, but now Louis was going to listen to him no matter what. Harry was done whispering apologies and hoping that one day Louis would listen and not ignore him completely.  

He didn’t bother to knock on the door he just harshly pushed it open.

Louis was getting his hair done by a hairstylist that worked on the show, they both looked up at Harry’s flushed face when he stomped into the room.

“Louis, we need to talk,” Harry said while holding up the papers.

“Could you just give me a minute? I’m not quite finished with..” the hairstylist started.

“Just get out, his hair looks fine,” Harry almost screamed at her.

When she left the room Harry took a deep breath, collecting himself, and said, “Louis, I’m sorry. I said some stupid things that I didn’t mean. I might have thought some of them at some point and some I don’t even know where came from. I was stupid and drunk…” Harry fiddled with his fingers, in his mind he had planned exactly what he was going to say, but now that he was standing in front of Louis actually saying it he felt his cheeks heat up and he lost his train of thought, all that was left was a void that didn’t seem to have any words he could fill into a sentence that was good enough to get Louis to forgive him.

“There’s a lot of things I thought you’d never think and say about me,” Louis looked away, “I have shown you some sides of me that no one else have seen before. To then hear you say those things…” he paused, “that’s why I need you to sign those papers.”

“I will gladly sign whatever you want me to sign. Just don’t say it is over, I can’t…” Harry started crying just at the mere thought of it being over, “It c-can’t be over” his voice was cracking.

Louis looked over at him again, his expression softer than it had been in weeks, “you know I don’t like to talk about my feelings. I was trying to open up to you more and felt like it was going good. To then hear you say those things. It hurt, Harry. It really hurt.”

“Please forgive me,” he walked over to Louis and put his hands on his shoulders, “I didn’t think through what I was saying, and I won’t push you to talk about things you are uncomfortable with. Just don’t say it’s over,” Harry let a hand stroke through Louis' hair, “I can’t bear to lose you.”

Louis looked up at him, “I don’t want to lose you. It’s just..” There was an uncertainty in his voice, like he was scared. And Harry understood, it was freaking scary being so close to another person, and Louis found it scarier than most.

Louis didn’t need to say anything more, Harry could see in his eyes that Louis wanted him, that he didn’t want them to be over.

Harry kissed Louis, their mouths opening allowing each other entrance, slick tongues licking into each other soaking up the taste and revelling in the warmth. It was a kiss with so much emotion and it was a promise to never let him go.

They held each other soaking in every touch and every emotion until there was a knock at the door. Harry rushed away from Louis when the door opened, “you’re on in five.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Louis,” Harry said and picked up a pen to sign the papers when Louis looked at him, “I’ll never do anything to hurt you again.”

“Thank you,” an appreciative smile spread on Louis’ lips.

Harry felt like he didn’t really need to sign the contract. He knew he’d never betray Louis’ trust. What they have was between them, and no matter what happened Harry would never sell Louis out. But the papers made Louis feel safe and that’s all Harry wanted.

After handing the contract to Louis’ attorney he got himself a glass of white wine which he was now enjoying lounged on the couch in Louis’ dressing room while watching the interview on a small monitor. Louis was his normal self during the interview, he was smiling, cracking jokes and being more flamboyant than he usually was in public.

“Looks like someone is enjoying themselves,” Louis said when he walked back into the dressing room after his interview.

“I’m sorry. This is very unprofessional of me,” Harry sat up and put down the glass.

“Don’t be. It’s fine. You're my personal assistant and also my boyfriend, sometimes the lines get a little blurred,” he sat down next to Harry, “is the wine here any good?”

“I’m not used to the fancy stuff you can get, so I think it’s pretty good.”

Louis laughed and got himself a glass.

It was a calm silence between them, nothing really needed to be said right now. Of course there was a lot Harry wanted to talk about, but right now it was good that there was a comfortable silence.

Louis leaned closer, “I don’t believe I have shown you my bedroom,” he murmured in Harry’s ear before he placed a kiss behind it.

Harry grinned, “maybe a little tour of your house is in order?”

It seemed that Louis had forgiven him, maybe not completely, but he was back to the way he was before.

 

* * *

 

Harry had really missed Louis. He’d seen him every day but it was not really the same as when Louis was ignoring him or only looking at him when he was doing things to provoke a reaction out of him. Now Louis was looking at Harry with fond eyes, and by the way his eyes twinkled it looked like Louis had missed Harry too.

Louis' house was big and the tour of his house took a long time, even when it looked like Louis skipped a few rooms just to get it over with quickly.

“And here is my bedroom,” Louis grinned at Harry as he opened the door.

“You like it?” Louis asked when Harry walked into the room.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Harry looked around the room, it had the same style as the rest of the house, light and spacious, and with beautiful artwork on the wall. There was a door to a big walk-in closet by the entrance, and the entry to a large bathroom right next to it.

There was a seating group and a TV at the entry of the room. And against the wall in the middle of the room was a large king size bed.

Louis put his arms around Harry’s waist from behind, “wait till you try the bed, it’s really comfy.”

Harry blushed, he was nervous and turned on at the same time. It felt like it had been forever since he was this close to Louis, and his heart was beating fast in anticipation of what Louis was going to do next.

“Harry,” Louis breathed against his neck, sending shivers down his spine, “take off your clothes.”

Harry turned around so he was facing Louis and started to slowly remove his clothes. Louis started walking around him as he removed all his articles of clothing. “You are so beautiful,” Louis said when he was behind him again. He gently tugged Harry’s long curly hair and whispered in his ear, “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

Before Harry knew it he was laying on Louis’ bed. Louis was between his legs, stoking his cock and two fingers were gently rubbing his rim. Louis pushed a lubed fingers into Harry hard, making Harry gasp, while his tongue found its way to the tip of Harry’s cock.

Harry had missed this so much. Feeling Louis’ touch and the way his stomach was full of butterflies when Louis touched him.

It had been a while since last time so when Louis replaced his fingers with his cock Harry whimpered at the burning and stretch he felt even after being prepped thoroughly, he felt so tight, it took longer than usual for him to adjust to Louis’ cock.

Louis noticed as well, “fuck, you’re so tight. This is so damn good,” he panted on top of Harry.

Harry had never made love before. He never liked the term, it sounded cheesy and like something you say when you want to make fucking sound better. But in this moment with Louis on top of him, kissing him, stroking his hair and slowly grinding into him, he knew what people meant when they said making love.

He felt like a burst electricity was running through his entire body, his heart was pounding out of his chest, his body was tingling and he felt the heat build up in his groin. Louis thrust into him harder, pushing broken moans and whimpers out of him, Harry shouted out Louis’ name when he felt the orgasm in his entire body. Louis soon followed looking deep into Harry’s eyes.

“I love you,” Harry whispered.

Louis’ eyes were wide, “Harry, I l..” he buried his face in Harry’s neck to hide it, and Harry realized what he had done. He put Louis on the spot, saying ‘I love you’ in such an intimate moment meant that Louis would have to give a response. Harry cursed himself for getting so carried away.

Louis showed his love through touches and looks, and wrote beautiful lyrics about it, but actually looking into Harry’s eyes and telling him that he love him was something Louis couldn’t do, not yet. And in that moment Harry took a vow to appreciate the way Louis showed his love, and not expect or demand that he did what Harry wanted him to do to show that he loves him.

They showed their love differently and that was ok, Harry just needed to remind himself of that when he got frustrated with Louis, so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret again. Louis wasn’t ready to say ‘I love you’ and Harry was willing to wait for the day he was ready, however long it took.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry had never felt so good in his entire life, he was cuddled up to Louis with his head on Louis’ chest. Louis stroked his back and Harry let out a content sigh. They had been laying like this for what felt like hours.

“Harry, I need to say something,” Louis stopped stroking Harry’s back, “the way I have acted towards you the last weeks...”

“Louis, it’s ok. I said some hurtful things to you and you were upset. You had every right to mad at me,” Harry said against Louis’ chest. Normally he was a huge fan of talking things out, this time it was actually nice to just apologize and make up, he didn’t need to talk more about it. It was just painful to think about the time they were apart and Louis was mad at him, and he was not sure if he really wanted answers to some of the things that had been on his mind over the past weeks.

Louis on the other hand had an insistency in his voice, it seemed like he really needed to get this of his chest, “that don’t excuse my behaviour. I was mean to you. I was just so upset and hurt about what you said and wanted you to feel as hurt as I was, and I wanted you to see what me being a jerk was really like.”

“Louis, you don’t have to apologize,” Harry looked into Louis’ blue eyes, that were filled with regret.

Louis looked down, “I do. I really need to apologize. The way I ignored you, talked to you and paraded those women in front of you. I’m really sorry for doing that.”

Harry moved his head up so he could get a better look at Louis, “it was not pleasant to watch, but I knew you just needed time to be upset with me. I wasn’t going to give up. All I wanted was you. If I had to watch you do those things that was fine because I knew that one day I would get to talk to you and try to get you to forgive me.”

“I guess we both said and did some hurtful things.”

“Yeah. I’m so glad we’re ok now.” Harry laid down on Louis chest again.

Harry was glad the air was clear and that they had forgiven each other, but there was one thing he had been thinking about, and he was not sure he really wanted an answer, but he just had to ask, “did you sleep with them?”

“No! I could never sleep with a woman again. Even if I was upset and mad at you I would never sleep with someone else just out of spite.” Louis paused. “Even kissing and touching them was bad enough, I didn’t enjoy that at all.”

“Good.” Harry smiled and kissed Louis’ chest.

“We should sleep, got a long day tomorrow.”

Harry raised an eyebrow in confusion, “long day? You have the day off.”

Louis grinned, “yeah, but we’re going car shopping.”

Harry sighed, “don’t you have enough cars? And you are driven almost everywhere so I don’t really understand why you have so many of them.”

“I just like them, ok? And it’s not for me, it’s for you.”

Harry quickly sat up, “you are not buying me a car.”

“Yes, I am,” Louis insisted.

“No, you are not spending your money on buying me fancy things. It would feel so wrong, like you're my sugar daddy or something.” Harry made a face that made Louis giggle.

“It was in the contract you signed earlier, so I kind of have to buy you a car,” he looked down, “And I didn’t get you a birthday gift so I need to make it up to you.”

“Please don’t. I don’t need a fancy birthday gift. I only signed the contract so you’ll feel safe, I don’t need a new car and a salary increase.” Harry sighed, hoping Louis would stop insisting on buying him a car.

Louis laughed again and pulled Harry in for a kiss, “sorry, babe. You’re getting it whether you like it or not,” he said against his lips.

“I hate you,” Harry mumbled.

Louis chuckled, “but you still love me.”

 

* * *

 

“No, it’s too much.”

“Come on look at it, you know you would like to have it.”

They were at a car dealership. Louis had spent all morning trying to convince Harry that he needed a fancy expensive car.

“Everything in here is too expensive. Can we look at some used cars instead?” Harry looked around at all the fancy cars, some of them probably worth more than what he would make in his entire working life.

They had been in there for almost two hours. One of the salesmen had tried to help them pick out a car, but Harry and Louis was bickering like an old married couple so he had stepped back and let them figure it out on their own. Now he and his co-workers were just standing there looking at them. Of course they recognized Louis when he walked into the dealership, and now they were probably wondering why he was bickering with some other guy about what car to get.

“I’m absolutely not buying you a used car,” Louis exclaimed while putting a hand to his chest like he was offended.

“Louis, please,” Harry whined.

“No. What about a Range Rover?”

“Ok, fine,” Harry sighed.

“Great!” Louis’ face cracked in a grin and he waved over the salesman.

Harry walked over to the corner of the dealership were he saw some water, he really needed something to eat and drink. It was exhausting trying to get Louis to not go over the top with the car purchasing.

“Haz, what kind of detailing and sound system do you want?”

“The cheapest one,” Harry yelled to Louis at the other side of the store.

Louis started talking with the salesman again. Harry was sure he was picking the most expensive one, but he didn’t have any energy left to argue about it.

Harry walked over and leaned forward on the counter were Louis was paying for the car. Louis put him arm around Harry’s waist and Harry was about to lean his head on Louis shoulder when he saw the looks one of the women working there was giving them. He almost forgot they were in public, and it seemed like Louis had to. He straightened up and gently elbowed Louis’ side, Louis looked up, saw the woman staring and removed his arm from Harry.

 

After car shopping Louis went to meet Liam and Harry went home.

“Harry, where have you been? I was getting worried when you didn’t come home last night and you weren’t here in the morning” Niall greeted him when he walked into the flat.

Harry's face cracked in a hug smile, “I was with Louis.”

Niall’s face lit up, “you made up?”

“Yes, we did. Everything is good now.” 

Niall pulled him in for a squeezing hug, “that’s great. Always knew it would work out.”


	10. Get it all together and watch it grow

A few weeks after they made up and Harry felt like it was finally going in the right direction and that he and Louis were more open with each other, that was until an afternoon he was at home hanging out with Niall. Niall got a text and was looking at his phone with furrowed brows, “why is Liam wondering why you’re not at Louis’ music video shoot?”

“What?” Harry exclaimed. Louis didn’t have a video shoot today, all he had was a meeting and because it was only a small meeting he had given Harry the day off.

Niall raised his eyebrow, “Liam thinks you’re fighting again so he texted me to check.”

“We’re not fighting. It’s good between us now. And Louis only had a meeting today, not a shoot.”

Niall sighed, “well, Liam says he is.”

Harry got a bad feeling in his stomach, why would Louis lie to him about something like that. Harry kept his schedule so Louis would have to go to some lengths to get his management not to tell Harry to put it in his schedule.

Why Louis lied about it became very clear when they walked into the studio Liam told Niall the shoot was taking place. Harry felt like someone stabbed him in the heart with a knife when he heard ‘Home’ playing and saw cameras directed at Louis and a girl. The girl was touching Louis and clearly pretending to be his girlfriend in the video.

It looked like no one had noticed that Niall and Harry had walked in, something Harry was happy about, he didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, it took all he had not to scream as he was watching them shooting the music video for ‘Home’ with some girl touching Louis.

Niall had narrow eyes and looked suspiciously at Louis and the scene in front of them.

“He’s just doing this to keep up appearances,” Harry said, more to himself than Niall.

Niall frowned, “I just don’t understand why he has to do it so much, and have it put in a music video.”

“It’s ok, Niall. I don’t mind,” Harry mumbled not meeting Niall’s eyes.

Niall furrowed his brows and looked intently at Harry, “I don’t believe that for a second. You told me about how he was flirting with girls when you were fighting and how much it bothered you.”

“That was different, he didn’t speak to me then, and I knew he was mad at me,” Harry said, hoping Niall would drop it.

Niall snorted and rolled his eyes, “It’s not different at all. He’s making you deal with a lot of crap and he is taking advantage of your kindness and love for him.”

“He’s not taking advantage of that. Why are you saying these things, I thought you liked Louis?” Harry was not really in the mood to listen one of his best friends annoying, but well-meaning talks, mostly because he knew Niall was right and said all the things Harry was thinking.

“I do like Louis, he’s a good guy. I just think he’s a bad boyfriend and I don’t like the things he make you do and the things you have to deal with.”

“He don’t make me do anything I don’t want to do,” Harry exclaimed.

“He makes you watch him flirt with girls, doesn’t he?” Niall raised an eyebrow, “you are too loving and kind sometimes. He makes you watch him do all of these things and he treated you like shit when you were fighting.” He paused. “You say that you love him, but has he even said that he loves you back?”

Harry looked down at his feet, “No,” he mumbled.

“That’s messed up, Harry.” Niall sighed, “You can’t make excuses for his behaviour towards you. He’s your boyfriend and he should appreciate you, not treat you like this.”

“He doesn’t treat me bad,” Harry addressed his feet, too embarrassed to look at his friend.

There was a silence for a few minutes, Niall’s face was getting red in frustration. Harry knew what was coming now, normally Niall didn’t like confrontation, but sometimes he let Harry know exactly what he thought, not caring if it was confrontational. “You are so scared of losing him, and he uses that to his advantage. You’ve told me about how he is with you, and I get that you love him and that it’s good when you’re together, but he makes you watch him do these thing and he treated you like shit when you said some things he didn’t like hearing,” Harry opened his mouth to argue but Niall raised his hand, “Let me finish, ok?” Harry nodded. “Sure you didn’t mean it and you wanted to tell him that, but he didn’t give you a chance and he treated you like shit. I don’t know what happened when you made up, but you clearly didn’t talk about why you say those things. Even if you didn’t mean it there’s a reason you said those things, and it was not because you were drunk. You have to stop being so insecure and scared, Harry. If your relationship with Louis is going to work you have to be honest with each other.”

Harry shook his head, of course Niall was right and he was verbalising thoughts Harry had.

“It’s just hard talking about things, he doesn’t always want to talk about it,” Harry whispered.

Niall sighed, “I can’t accept that he gets away with just shutting down and not wanting to talk. If he loves you and know you, he would know that you like to express your feelings and talk about things. Him shutting you out hurts you and shows that he doesn’t respect your feelings. That makes me believe that he doesn’t love you as much as you love him.”

“Niall, please. I know that he loves and respects me, he might not show it the same way I do, but he still loves me,” Harry suddenly felt the strong need to defend Louis and their relationship.

“Can you have an honest conversation about everything? Do you feel like you can talk to him about the things you worry about and your feelings?”

“Y-yes.” Harry knew that was not an honest answer. There were things he was scared of saying and talking to Louis about. He just didn’t want Niall to know that, he wanted Niall to approve of their relationship and not think that Louis didn’t love and respect him.

“I don’t believe you, but fine if you want to tell yourself that. Just know that I’m here for you when he steps over the line and hurts you so much that you can’t take it.”

Niall gave Harry a hug before he went back to staring at Louis.

What Niall was saying was in many ways true, but Louis didn’t take advantage of him or make him do stuff he did not want to do. He knew that Louis loved him and respected him. Louis had made progress when it came to opening up and talking about his feelings, but Harry was scared of talking with Louis about certain things, he was scared that Louis would shut him out or break things off if it became too much for him.

It was just too much, watching Louis and the girl, knowing that this was going to be the music video and what Niall was saying.

“I-I have to go,” Harry whispered before he practically ran for the door.

 

* * *

 

He didn’t want to talk to anyone, not Niall and definitely not Louis. Harry realized that he couldn’t hide from the truth on his way home. He loved Louis so much that he let him get away with anything. Harry hated to admit it, but Niall was right. He normally was in situations like this, he knew Harry so well and he knew that Harry was insecure and scared of confrontation and he knew how to give Harry the nudge he needed to do something about it.

All of Harry’s frustrations were building up inside him. The way Louis shut him out if it got too hard. How he treated him when they were fighting. Harry just said some stupid things and they could easily have made up sooner if Louis just let Harry explain and apologise, but Louis had to get all pissy about it and treat Harry like shit for weeks. And yes, what Harry said was hurtful for Louis to hear, but that didn’t mean that Harry hadn’t felt some of the things he said before, and why shouldn’t he be allowed to say that? It wasn’t like he thought those things now. All of the drama and bad feelings Harry had could easily be avoided if they just talked about it like two normal adults.

Harry knew that he could handle it for now, but if it went on for longer it would just get worse. He needed Louis to understand that if they were going to be in a relationship there had to be some mutual respect, and rules. Like normal rules couples have, like don’t flirt with and touch other people, and tell the truth to each other. And that was another thing that hurt, Louis lied to him. Louis said he was going to a meeting and in reality he was shooting a music video. And Harry knew why Louis lied about it, he didn’t want to have to explain to Harry why there was some half naked girl in the music video, because how could he explain that and make it sound like that was ok? It wasn’t possible to make it ok that there was a girl in the music video for a song that Louis had written about their relationship.

Harry was fuming for the first time in ages, normally he just took it and kept it inside, but on rare occasions he just had the need to let it all out, something that was really out of character for him but with a little nudge from Niall and some time to think about it he just felt he had to let it out, there was no way he could keep it in any longer. He let Louis off way too easy for being a jerk to him before, and yes, he loved him, but it’s often the people you love that gets you the angriest.

Louis sent him a message an hour earlier asking if he wanted to come over tonight, and Harry couldn’t help but answer in a passive aggressive way, hinting that Louis should take his new ‘love interest’ home instead, and that he hadn’t bought the condoms Louis asked for when they were fighting so he should probably get them on his way home.

He didn’t really care if Louis got mad at him or shut him out, he just needed to let out some frustration.

He laid back on his bed, he just needed to close his eyes and relax, this day had been more stressful than he thought it would be.

Harry was surprised when not more than twenty minutes later there was a knock at the door, and Niall opened it with Louis standing behind him, Harry sat up and gave Niall a nod when he closed it after Louis had taken a few steps into the room.

There was silence, Louis only looked at him, his face was in serious folds but his eyes flickered around the room like he was uncertain.

Harry broke the silence after letting Louis sweat for a minute or two, “thought you were too busy feeling up some girl to bother with your boyfriend.”

“Harry, what’s going on?” Louis asked, his voice was low and there was an uncertainty in it.

“You tell me, were you even going to tell me about the video, or just let me see it when the rest of the world did?”

“How did you even know?” Louis asked, and of course he avoided eye contact, Harry rolled his eyes, “does that even matter? You lied to me.”

Louis started fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he looked really uncomfortable now, “I.. Harry, I didn’t want to, it’s just..”

“It’s just what? What is it, Louis?” Harry raised his voice, “It’s just that you knew it was a shitty thing to do? You said you wrote that song about our relationship, Louis. Us! And you’re going to have some slut touching you in the video for that song. Of course you lied to me, you didn’t have the balls to tell me.”

“I wanted to tell you, but I had a feeling you’d react badly,” Louis looked less uncomfortable as he said it, like it was a good excuse and explanation.

“Yeah, I’d said I reacted badly,” Harry eyed Louis, “Why’d you do it? If that song meant something to you, you wouldn’t reduce it to a stunt to keep your sexuality hidden.”

Louis looked down at his feet, “they liked the song and had an idea for the video. I tried to get them to go for another idea, but they wouldn’t.”

“If it really meant something to you, you would have fought harder,” Harry spat.

There was a pause where none of them said anything, Louis just looked down at his feet while Harry stared at him waiting for him to say something.

Harry took a deep breath, “it hurt me seeing that, and it hurt that you lied to me.”

Louis sighed, “It’s not like I want to hurt you, or do it on purpose.”

“But you did and you’ve done it before too, you touched and flirted with women in front of me on purpose. And I know you were mad at me but that doesn’t make it ok for you to do that,” Harry argued, needing Louis to see where this was coming from.

“I thought we were ok now and that you forgave me for that.” Louis raised an eyebrow, looking confused why Harry brought that up now.

“Yeah I did. But that’s the problem, I forgive too easily. I’ve always been like that, always giving in and forgiving, especially when it comes to the people I love.” There was a small pause, Louis looked down at the floor, clearly not wanting to make eye contact. “I love you so much, Louis. I’d forgive you for doing anything no matter how much it hurts me and how big of a compromise it is for me,” Harry continued, “I’m scared that if it gets too hard for you you’ll break up with me, and that’s why I didn’t make a big deal out of it, but that doesn’t mean it don’t hurt me to think about it, and it hurt more today because you lied to me and you decided to have a girl pretending to be your girlfriend in the music video.”

“It’s not like I wanted that to be the music video to our song,” Louis mumbled.

“Then tell them,” Harry said.

Louis looked up, a shocked expression on his face, “You want me to come out? You know what can happen to my career if I do that.”

“No, I don’t want to force you to come out. I want you to do that when you’re ready for it.” Harry paused. “I don’t expect you to change overnight, and I don’t expect you to come out for me. The only thing I expect from you is respect and honesty, is that too much to ask? I’m your boyfriend, and I only ask that you treat me as that and that you act like you are in a relationship, and let your management know you are with someone so you don’t have to do stupid stunts or have girls in your videos. If they believe you’re in a relationship with a girl that’s fine, I just can’t take to watch anyone else touching you anymore.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?” Now Harry was confused, he expected this to be another thing Louis didn’t want to talk more about and for it to be awkward between them and that in the end Harry would have to give in so they could go back to normal.

“Yeah. I want to give you what you need and what you deserve from your boyfriend,” Louis smiled, “Harry, you are one of the best things in my life, I don’t want you to feel like I don’t respect you. I care about you and I want you to be happy with me, it’s not too much to ask for respect and honesty, I should have given you that from the start. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to talk about things, and I hope that you’ll still bear with me when that happens.”

“Yes, and you know that it’s fine as long as you’re trying. Just don’t lie to me and don’t make me feel like I’m always having to compromise and give in on things that I want to talk about but you don’t.”

“I’m sorry. I won’t lie to you again,” Louis sat down on the side of the bed and pulled Harry close, Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, “please don’t make me feel like that again.”

“Harry, I’ll do my best to keep you happy, ok? I’m sorry for hurting you,” Louis said while he let his hand stroke through Harry’s hair.

“Thank you,” Harry mumbled against his shoulder.

“No need to thank me. It’s my job as your boyfriend to keep you happy and apologise if I do something bad,” Louis took a deep breath, “I care about you so much, and I lo..” Louis’ voice was like a whisper before his voice broke and he looked down when he got to the end of the sentence, something that looked like embarrassment painted on his face when he couldn’t finish saying it.

“I love you too,” Harry whispered back, and it was like all the frustration and hurt feelings he had was disappearing. He wondered if he had given in to easy again, but he didn’t really care if he did, he said what he thought, and in the end Louis apologised. Harry couldn’t ask for anything more or better than that.

 

* * *

 

 

“Babe, wake up. Your album is number one.” Harry was standing by Louis’ bed with a cup of coffee for him. That morning Niall had informed him that Louis’ new album that had just been released, was number one on the charts. Harry rushed over to Louis’ house, he was so excited to tell him.

“It is?” Louis said with a sleepy voice.

Harry beamed, “yes, congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Louis picked up his phone and checked Twitter, “no wonder the fans are so excited, they have been waiting for the album ever since the first single was released before we went on tour.”

Louis pulled Harry down on the bed and started kissing him.

Harry broke the kiss, “you do know you have a meeting across town in an hour, right?” he said against Louis’ lips.

“That’s plenty of time,” Louis said and started to take off Harry’s shirt.

 

Later that day Harry was working in Louis’ study, he was organizing a charity ball to raise money for one of Louis’ charities. It was fun to see how passionate Louis was about it.

Louis’ voice called through the house, “babe, where are you?”

“I’m in your study.”

He heard Louis walk fast towards the study.

“We’re reshooting the video for ‘Home’,” Louis announced when he walked into the room.

“You are?” Harry’s face cracked in a huge grin, happy that the world didn’t get to see the first version of it.

“Yes, and this time we are doing it my way. So it will be just me, and a little bit of you in it,” Louis grinned back at him.

Harry’s eyes widened, Louis couldn’t mean that Harry was actually going to be in the video, “It’s not like you can have me in the video with you. Why would they ever agree to that?”

“Since the pictures of us leaked they have suspected that I’m in a relationship. And today I told them that I am, and that the person I’m with is going to be in the video, or they could forget about making Home a single,” Louis said, still grinning.

“You told them you are gay and that you are with me?” Harry’s voice got a little high pitched and his eyes got wider, he had said that he wanted Louis to tell his management that he was in a relationship but he never expected Louis to say that he was gay, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for Louis to come out mostly because he didn’t want to be responsible if Louis’ career was ruined.

“No. I still think they suspect though, but they have no concrete proof to that suspicion. And it seems like they think you’re a girl since they agreed to you being in the video with me,” Louis explained.

Harry let out a sigh of relief at that before he said, “I still don’t get how I can be in that video.”

“The whole premise of the video is me searching for a person I can call my home basically. We’ll shoot some different scenes with just me in it, where I look unhappy and like I’m missing something, and we’ll shoot some scenes of us in bed, and some scenes where I look happy after that, so they’ll see that I found someone very special that makes me happy.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed, a little in shock over what Louis was saying.

“You know in the pictures of us in bed they could only see your neck and back, and some of your legs, and let’s not forget the kissing picture. It will be like that. We’ll shoot it so they won’t see that it is you and we will make it hard to see that you are a guy. And by paying a little homage to those pictures, which many fans believe is proof that I’m in a relationship, we will in some way confirm that I’m in a relationship with someone I care about very much,” Louis explained with an excited smile on his face.

Harry on the other hand was not so sure he was excited about that idea, “are you sure? It’s a very risky thing to do.”

Louis took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “I’m sure, as long as you are ok with it?”

There was a few seconds of silence as Harry thought about it, a smile spread on his face, “I would love to be in your music video. Even if people will think I’m a girl.”

“You do have girly legs and little body hair,” Louis chuckled.

“Oh, shut up.” Harry laughed and pulled Louis in for a kiss.

 

 

It all went really fast, a week later Harry was standing in Louis bedroom watching a them get the room ready for the shoot.

Since not many people could know about Louis and Harry, Louis had asked a director and producer he had worked with multiple times to do the video. Louis considered him a friend plus he was gay so he could relate to their situation. He brought with him one cameraman and they asked Liam and Niall to come help with the shoot. It was really low budget for a shoot of a famous artist’s music video.

It was weird standing there only wearing pants watching Liam and the cameraman setting up two cameras to get different angles, and Niall setting up the light so the room was dimmed and it got a romantic atmosphere.

Harry was surprised when the director had asked Niall to do something and he had done it perfectly, apparently Niall had worked behind the scenes at a theatre production in school.

“Are you ready?” Louis was behind him.

Harry gulped, “Yeah...”

They walked over and the director instructed them to sit up right in the middle of the bed. Harry sat in Louis’ lap straddling him, they wrapped their arms around each other and Harry buried his head in Louis’ neck.

“Ugh.. this is just like when we walked in on them,” Niall made a face and looked at Liam.

“I know, but the first time I walked in on them in bed was worse. Harry was making some sounds that..”

“Guys, please shut up,” Louis looked over at them, “not our fault that you don’t know how to knock on a door.”

“Yeah… I know how to do that now, had to learn it the hard way,” Liam said with a chuckle.

The director and cameraman looked at them and started laughing too.

“Shall we get started?” The director asked.

“Yes, let’s go.”

It was weird being watched and filmed, thankfully he still had his pants on and what they were doing weren’t that sexual, but he still felt extremely self-conscious during the whole thing.

When they were done the director assured Harry that he would make sure no one would see that he was a guy.

 

Two weeks later Harry and Niall was out having lunch between Niall’s classes. Harry had practically been living at Louis’ house and it had been a while since he’d seen Niall so they decided to go out for lunch.

Niall was having some women trouble and Harry was trying to give him advice on what to do, even though Harry did not understand women at all. Niall apparently thought being gay meant that Harry was more in touch with his feminine side and would be able to give great advice on the matter.

They were sitting in a crowded bar, Harry really liked the place, they played music and it was a relaxed atmosphere there. Half way through lunch, Harry heard the opening of Home and Louis’ voice filled the room.

“Oh my god, look!” a girl behind them shrieked.

“He did it again, why is it that he always drops things out of nowhere. I swear to god one day he is going to give me a heart attack.”

The girls were looking at the TV hanging on the wall above the fireplace and in that moment Harry agreed with the girl, except he felt like he was having a heart attack now. On the screen was the music video. In the first shots Louis was alone walking an empty street and looking sad and like he was missing something. When it got to the chorus, Louis holding Harry and kissing his neck filled the screen.

The girls behind him and a few other girls in the bar gasped, one of them actually let out a small scream. Harry’s face was turning red as he watched the rest of the scenes with him and Louis. He could hear Niall laughing.

The scenes of Louis and Harry was only during the chorus, during the verses Louis was singing into the camera, and he was in the studio writing and recording the song. When Louis was singing that he would make it feel like home he was standing in the middle of an empty street with a twinkle in his eyes. When the music video was coming to an end Louis and Harry kissing appeared on the screen, only their lips and a bit of their chins was showing.

Harry’s eyes were wide in shock. Louis hadn’t told him that the video was being released today.

Niall was still laughing. “At least it was tasteful.”

“Not really what I was thinking about. There is a lot of people watching parts of my naked body right now.”

“Don’t worry, they can’t see that it’s a guy so they can’t see that it’s you,” Niall assured him.

Harry buried his head in his hands, “I need a drink.”

“Enjoy, I have to get back to class.” Niall gave Harry a hug and started laughing again as he walked out of the bar.

After two drinks Harry managed to get out of his initial shock, and he decided to go to Louis’ house.

He found Louis in the kitchen.

“Babe, how do you boil spaghetti?” Louis asked when Harry walked in.

“You’re a grown man, you should know that by now.” Harry was still a little shocked and just stared at Louis with wide eyes.

“Are you ok?” Louis furrowed his brows as he looked at Harry.

“Yes, great. Just wish you would have told me that the music video was being released today, bit of a shock having lunch with Niall in a bar and suddenly I’m on the TV.”

“I’m sorry, I only found out an hour before they released it and I was busy so I couldn’t call.” Louis gave Harry a hug. “Did you like it?”

Harry sighed, “Yeah, it was really good. I was scared it was going to be cheesy or weird with so much of us half-naked in it, but it looked really good.”

“When we’re naked everything is usually really good,” Louis winked at him.

 

* * *

 

On Friday afternoon Harry was sitting in the kitchen in his flat looking at clothes online, he really wanted some new shirts and boots. He made a few purchases and decided to go and check some fan blogs dedicated to Louis. He hadn’t done that since the first round of pictures of them was released, after that he had been a bit scared to see what they were writing. Now he wanted to see what they thought about the video.

After scrolling through a few blogs and seeing their reactions he was happy, they really loved the song and the video. Many thought it looked like Louis was in love and that he seemed happier than ever.

He was about to log of when a post caught his eye, it was speculating if Louis was gay and the comments were mostly positive to the idea. They all seemed to care about his music and happiness, and not what gender he was attracted to.

Harry looked at some other posts about the same subject. These fans should work for the FBI or something, they had done comprehensive analysis of the few shots they had of parts of Harry’s body from the leaked photos of them in bed and the music video and compared it to different photos of Louis’ friends. They were sure he was a guy and they thought he was Louis’ boyfriend.

They hadn’t figured out who he was yet but Harry knew it was only a matter of time if they were this thorough.

Niall came waking into the kitchen, “Maggie and Regina will be here in twenty minutes, why haven’t you started on dinner?”

Harry had forgot they were having them over for dinner. He was still a bit shocked about the fact that the fans had figured out so much with so little to go on.

“Harry, are you alright?”

Harry didn’t say anything he just showed Niall the blog posts. Niall’s mouth fell open as he was reading.

“Shit! That is some CIA type shit right there.”

They just looked at each other with big eyes until there was a knock at the door. Niall went to open and Harry put away his laptop.

“Harry was a bit preoccupied so he has not started dinner yet,” Niall said to Regina and Maggie as they walked in.

Harry gave them both a hug and asked how they were doing. They stood there talking for a while and Harry started to prepare dinner until there was another knock at the door.

“You expecting someone else?” Regina asked Harry when Niall went to answer.

“No, it’s just us tonight.”

Niall came back into the kitchen, “Harry, there’s a guy at the door who says he is delivering a car for you.”

“What?” Harry had almost forgotten about the car. He walked out to the front door with his friends in tow. His new Range Rover was parked out on the street, he signed some papers and the delivery guy handed him the keys.

“How in the world can you afford that?” Niall asked and pointed at the car.

“Emmm.. Louis got it for me,” Harry’s cheeks flushed as he said it.

“There are some good benefits coming with that job of yours,” Regina said.

Harry saw Niall trying to hold back a laugh in his peripheral vision.

“Yeah.”

“Why did he get it for you?” Regina looked at him with curious eyes.

“Ehm.. it’s for work.”

“But you normally go with him everywhere, right? And don’t he have a driver?”

“Yes,” Harry answered trying to look as normal as possible.

Harry was really bad at lying when he was pushed into a corner, and with Regina looking at him like she did he couldn’t lie. And he couldn’t say it was part of a contract that he had signed, because Regina would start asking about the contract and what it else it said in it. Having Regina as a friend could be quite annoying sometimes. There was a reason she was an investigative journalist, when she wanted to know something she had a way of finding out.

“Why don’t we go inside and open a bottle of wine and Harry can get started on dinner,” Niall said trying to take the heat off Harry.

When they got inside it looked like Regina was back to being his nice friend, and not the nosy journalist. Harry continued prepping for dinner and the others sat down at the breakfast bar and had some wine.

Harry had barley started when his phone started ringing.

“Seriously, we are never going to eat with all these interruptions. Can you tell whoever it is that you’ll call them back?” Niall said.

Harry picked up his phone and looked at the screen. “It’s Louis.”

Niall nodded and Harry picked up.

“Hi, Lou.”

“Hi, love. Did you get the car?”

“Yes, it just arrived.”

“Have you taken it out for a spin yet?”

“No, haven’t had time for it.”

“You got to take your new car out. Why don’t you swing by and pick me up? The salesman said that there was plenty of room in the backseat and that the seats are really comfortable. I was thinking we check if he was telling the truth.”

Harry started to blush. This was not the time to blush, Niall, Regina and Maggie was watching him

“Ehm.. Regina and Maggie are here, Niall and I are having dinner with them. Well, we are trying to have dinner. I haven’t started it yet. It looks like Niall is getting really hungry so I think we’ll just order some food.”

“I see. Are they watching you talking to me?”

“Yes.”

“So now would be a really bad time to start talking dirty to you?”

“Yes. Please don’t.”

Louis laughed. “Don’t worry, babe. I know how you start blushing when I do that and you think there is a chance that someone will hear. And I’m guessing you’re already blushing a little.”

“I am.” Harry looked down at the floor.

“If you are ordering food how about I call one of my friends, he’s a chef at a good restaurant. He can make you something good and have it delivered to you? So you don’t end up with pizza or Chinese food on a dinner party with your friends.”

“You really don’t have to do that. It’s too much.”

“But I want to. I want you to have a good meal with your friends,” Louis insisted.

Harry sighed, “at least let me pay for it.”

“No, I’m offering so I’m paying. Don’t try to argue.”

“So if I say that I can’t let you do that, it’s going to be the car thing all over again isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

Harry sighed again, “fine.”

“Good.”

“I’ll call you later, bye.”

He was met by three set of eyes when he looked up after the call ended.

“We’re getting food delivered.”

“What kind of food?” Niall asked.

“I don’t know. Louis insisted on calling a friend that is a chef, so food will be here soon,” Harry answered.

“Louis is a really nice guy,” Maggie said with dreamy eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

After they finished dinner and the guests left, Harry went to his room and laid down on the bed, he picked up his phone and called Louis.

“Hi, love,” Louis answered.

“Hi, babe.”

“I’m guessing you’re alone since you can call me babe.”

“Yeah, they just left. I just wanted to thank you for the food, it was really good.”

“Good, I’ll be sure to tell my friend that.” He paused. “What are you doing right now?”

“I’m laying in bed.”

“You are? Naked?”

“Nooo.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Would you like me to take my clothes off?”

“Yes,” Louis breathed.

“Would you like me to start touching myself?” He couldn’t believe he was talking like this one the phone, but listening to Louis voice and thinking about him imagining Harry touching himself turned Harry on.

“Yeah.” Louis started breathing heavier.

“I’m naked now. Letting my hand slowly stroke up and down my cock, it’s getting really hard,” Harry said in his most seductive voice.

“Fuck it, I’ll be right there.” Louis hung up.

Harry laughed.

It didn’t take long before Louis was at the door. Harry put on a robe and went to open.

Louis attacked him when he came in the door. He pushed Harry against the wall and kissed him roughly. He opened Harry’s robe and let his hands trail down Harry’s body to his cock.

“Niall’s home,” Harry said, not really wanting Louis to stop but he knew that Niall would have some sort of reaction if he caught them like this.

“And?” Louis said before he buried his face in Harry’s neck kissing and nibbling on it, seeming not bothered by the prospect of Niall possibly seeing them like this.

“The poor guy has already caught us in bed once, and seen us when we shot the music video. I think he would bleach his eyes if he caught us having sex in the hallway,” Harry ended the sentence with a moan as Louis had moved down to kissing his nipples in the middle of it.

Louis laughed, “Yeah, poor guy. Probably best to move to your bedroom.”

 

Harry woke up the next morning with Louis spooning him. He didn’t really want to leave his beautiful boyfriend’s side but he needed something to drink, he felt sore and exhausted after last night’s activities. He put on pants and a robe, and walked to the kitchen to get some much needed water and maybe some coffee.

When he walked into the kitchen Niall was sitting at the breakfast bar with Regina.

“Good morning, Harry,” she said. Niall’s eyes were bulging, his cheek’s red and he slightly shook his head at Harry behind Regina’s back.

“Good morning.” Harry walked over and poured some coffee in a cup. “What brings you here so early?” he wondered.

“I just had some questions for Niall,” Regina explained.

“Ok..” Harry was confused, they just saw Regina last night and Niall was acting weird.

“Yes, it’s actually a good thing that you’re here. I have some things I need to ask you too.”

“You do?” Harry asked and looked between Regina’s serious expression and Niall’s flustered one.

“Yes. Niall here,” she gave Niall a look and Niall looked like he was about to pee his pants,” is having some trouble answering my questions, so I was thinking maybe I could get some better answers out of you.”

Whatever she asked Niall had made him really uncomfortable and distressed, and Harry was not sure he wanted to be asked the questions Niall had failed to answer.

“Babe, where did you go? The bed is so cold and empty, I get lonely when you’re not in it,” Louis' voice called trough the flat and Harry mentally hit himself as he saw Regina’s eyes widen.

 


End file.
